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Hello everyone!



Yes, I am back once again and just in time for my premium membership to expire. Dont you fret though I think the next electric bill is going to be a little higher then usually *insert evil laugh here* So yeah I have until the 2nd so hopefully you bastards will be online after shoving your fast with all that fatty goodness tomorrow and this weekend.. oh thats right the new Pogo badges came out today? Well we'll see about that then huh?



Anything new with me? Well since you ask. I'm pretty upset today. I've explaned before about the cousins, uncle, and aunt living in my parents other home and paying them rent? Alright well heres an update. The one son moved out leaving just my aunt, uncle, cousin, his pregnant girlfriend, and their 7 month old. Up till last week none of them had a job for 2 weeks. Leaving my dad high a dry without a penny for bread having to pay his morgage and theirs with not enough income. Alright so the one cousin moves out and the other cousin and his girlfriend get a job on a farm somewhere packing something working almost 40 hrs a week each. Awesome right? Well they got paid and guess what? Now they almost have all their Christmas shopping done. Yeah that's right instead of paying my father SOMETHING they spent all of their money for a christmas they cant afford. I mean come on you know the man has a late fee now on his morgage and little food and no gas... I'm ranting now but I guess you can get the point. If you think I sound bitchy please tell me I will let everything go if anything thinks I'm in the wrong for this but dont you think that they could of done something? Anyway comment if you want.



Oh and since I spill all my secrets in here anything.. *shhh* I told my boyfriend I didn't want to take my birthcontrol anymore. I want to be myself for a while without the hormones and if anything else happens it just happens... he said finish what i've got (another month) and we'll talk about it... mmm yes baby making time >.< But SHHH I don't want him to get spooked.. hunters think of a deer in a field if u make a noise they get alert if they hear it again they run away

Just wanted to send out an update since I haven't had time to grace you all with my wonderfulness >.<



Okay well let's see here not a lot has happened



First, I wanted everyone to know that one of my cousins got a job! Woop! And moved out of the house that we're moving into this spring. So now we're down to four people lol Doesn't sound like a huge improvement but hopefully since it was the younger of the two boys the other on will get a bug up his ass and want to do better. Let's cross our fingers.



I haven't mentioned this before but once every two wees (payday) my boyfriend and I have a 'couples night' with a friend of mine from high school and his girlfriend. We've been doing it for a few months now and always have a great time. Unfortunately I found out yesterday that they are breaking up 0.o It's crazy because they seemed like such a wonderful couple and reminded Rob and I of each other. What happened as far as I can tell, and what he's told me, they've been having problems because he is unemployed well something happened and she decided to go to a psychic and ask if their relationship was going to work out.. the psychic said No so she gave him a month to get some money together and get out. :-( Makes me so sad if they could split up... ugh i dont even want to think about it.

COMMENTS

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ImageMaker
17:21 Nov 16 2009

Breaking up over the advice of psychic? Seems like a pretty flimsy excuse to end a relationship.

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lauragirl88
21:58 Nov 25 2009

Thats what I thought too but I think she is just bored and doesn't understand.. Not to mention shes never had her own place before this.. she wants to go wild so we'll see what happens

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Sorry guys I completely forgot to put up something letting you know what happened with my first donor date..



Honestly, I didn't feel anything :-( I was told I would probably feel tired afterword but nothing happened. She just ran her hands over me for about ahalf hour. If anything it did kind of relax me a little LOL

I seriously just got sick to my stumich from reading someones update on Facebook. Remember before when I was talking about my jobless cousin and his jobless girlfriend who have a 7 month old and she is due to have another baby in April. Yes people! That is 2 kids 1 yr apart!!! They waited the 6 weeks and then oops another kid! Well my aunt has been using the excuse of 'needing to help w. the kids' so she doesnt have to get a job either.. well my cousin said he wants to go get a visectamy (not sure how its spelled i think he had it wrong too lol) and she told him to hold off on it >.< Are you kidding me!?!? They have had to borrow money from everyone in the family just to buy diapers but my aunt doesnt want her baby makers to stop popping em out because she'll have to get off her ass! Grrrrrrr This upsets me to an extreme. I can understand wanting Grandchildren and being excited to have them but when no one wants to make any money to buy diapers it doesnt make any sense to bring more kids into the world. Shouldn't she want the grandchildren she has to have a good life? Or would that get in the way of her sitting on her ass all day. Well I guess we'll never know. I'm going to go throw up now and then go drink a beer. You know why? because I dont have any kids and I can do it when I wanna! YEAH!

So I was hanging out with one of my friends today that I don't really go out of my way to make time for.. you know the like back up friend lol it's okay though I'm her back up friend too its a mutual agreement. Anyway, I had never known or at least she had never told me that she believes (and I only say believe bc theres no way to honestly know for sure) that she is a psy vamp. Long story short she said that I carry a lot of energy around so I agreed to let her feed on me >_< We're going to do it tomorrow so I'll let you all know how my first donor session goes. Wish me luck lol

So anyone know how bad it is if you spill something.. oh lets say hypothetically, dr pepper, on someones computer.. I cleaned it up right away and its not even sticky nothing got inside of it but I see a line developing across the screen.. its about half an inch wide and coming from the left side its about half way through the screen now.. I dont know if it was there before or if i screwed something up when i was whipping it down. I didnt use any cleaner or anything >.< HELP!

Well, my cousin went on for an interview yesterday but came home to find out it was a door todoor sales thing where u dont get pad unless you sell so there goes his one hope for ajob >.< So I let me parents know that it'll be okay to wait till Spring to move. That'll give them one entire year to get ready to move. I know that it is an obvious truth for them beause they have started to pack up the house. Maybe it was just floke that they all lost their jobs at once. *sigh* So I guess I will use this time to finish up the house and have everything done before we get ready to move instead of doing it as we move out. Alright I g2g do the dishes :-( ucky I wish I had a dishwasher lol

Alright so this is what has been bothering me so bad lately. Rob and I have been living together for over 2 years now... this is going to be our 3rd Christmas in our trailer. We bought this trailer after only being together for 2 months filling it with peices given by friends and family. Well, my parents own a duplex... which its not even really like a duplex its two houses with a connecting garage. Right now my aunt and uncle are living in the other house. See they bought it to take care of my grandmother and after she died my aunt and uncle where kicked out of where they were living so they told them they could move in until I was ready. Well now I'm ready but everyone else keeps dragging their feet. No one in that house has a job right now and there is my uncle, aunt, cousin (25yrs old), cousin (22 yrs old), his pregnant girlfriend and their 8 month old.. yeah and not 1 job between ALL OF THEM! It wasn't like this 5 months ago when I said I wanted to move in around Thanksgiving. No they waited till 6 weeks before the move and the two with a job both QUIT! So here I am half of my shit packed up from my house and they are asking to wait till Spring. I can't honestly kick them out into the cold but if they arn't ready after 5 months of warning what would make me think they'llbe ready after winter? Jobs die down after the new year.... So this is one half of the stress.. trying to not let them walk all over me while trying to respect my elders. Garrrrrrrr



The other part of it is my boyfriend and I. When we bought the trailer there wasn't even a thought in our heads about what would happen if we split up. We always just figured if it happened I would leave because I have my parents place and he refuses to move back in with his. Now that we're talking about selling the trailer we have to step back and realize that once this happens, once we sell it, we are together and if webreak up its going to be a lot more difficult then sending a few friends to pick up my stuff. He started showing signs of stress by dragging his feet on house projects. Then came the excuses for how we could afford the trailer for storage and still be able to make it. Now when we talk about it the pink elephant in the room is screaming in my head.



The fears boil down to the same problem we've had for the past year. I want commitment. I want to know that I am not waisting my time waiting for him to be ready to marry. I've been burnt before like that.. spent 3 yrs with someone planning out the rest of my life only to find out my best friend was a better f*ck so I'm shit... I can't go through that again.. my abandonment issues make me cry almost every day now... He says he loves me and wants to marry me one day but I've heard that before and look what happened.. If I say anything to him about it then I'm the bad person and I'm stupid and need to stop being so self concious but you know what? I can't help it! There is a part of my heart that I am always prtecting.. Is it my fault that I want to share with him what I have never shared before? If after 3 yrs of living with someone shouldnt you know if you want to marry them or not? I mean I'm not asking for the marriage license let's just be positive about it and NOT make me feel like THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!! I'm SO tired of always feeling like I'm not the right one or I'm just hitting the glass ceiling because something with me just isnt what he's looking for...

COMMENTS

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ChaosxXxVampire
07:14 Nov 03 2009

ok there is nothing NOTHING wrong with you i think he needs to figure out what he wants with you I think he needs to figure out what he wants and pick up his ass first off. secondly i know the pain right now im facing homelessness and yeh it blows

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Malky
00:25 Nov 04 2009

well first off.

you should be glad that you know what you want and that what your issues with the relationship are.

second, i must agree nothing is wrong with you. you might have at times pressed him harder then he would have liked. but that happens.



i hope you solve this, and that those guys get jobs. hard luck right now.

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GarfieldsGirl
15:20 Nov 04 2009

I agree there is NOTHING wrong with you. And your right if those relatives aren't ready to move out after 5 months then they are going to be there forever. They are taking advantage of you and they know you won't kick them out. A little tough love may be in orfer. Good luck darlin

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