The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

a cuple on a romantic date goes to a new dinner in town as they look over the menue they get quite disapointed its suposed to be a fancy place and the dinner is serving oposem supe tode leggs and fride duck liver

upon seeing this they call the waiter over and have him take a look at the menue he say's theres nothing wrong with this menue then he see's it he yells back to the kitchen



BOB THE PRINTERS FORGOT TO TRANSLATE THE MEAUE TO FRENCH AGIN!!

two men at the local golf corse turn to eachother

golfer 1: says ya know i've been thinking

golfer 2: thinking what?

golfer 1: with all the balls you get under you done gone and broke a record

golfer 2: what record?

golfer 1:hell you get number one record fore getting under more balls than A MIDGET !

10 men and 1 woman are suspended from a ropeladder conected to a helicopter they know that this manny people is to heavey

but they can't decide who should get droped

the woman makes a greate speack obought how she will rember them to god and where her family should set a grave site and that she'll go if they promise to go to her grave once a year....

at the end of the speach some of the men have tears in there eyis but all the men claped!!

four guys on a rode trip from Idaho, Nabraska, florida, and new yourk

the one from Idaho grabs his bag and begans to through potatos out

the guy from nabraska says what the hell are you doing man?

Idaho replys we got so manny of theas things where i'm from i can't to see them anney more

then the guy from nabraska gets the bright idea and grabs his bag and starts throuing out corn by the ear

florada asks

what the hell are you doing?

nabraska: same responce

the guy from florada gets the idea and opens the car doore shouves the guy from newyork out!!

2 new arivels at the pearly geates are decusing they died

arivel 1: i froze to

arivel 2: i had a hart attack

arivel 1: i'm sorry

arivel 2: don't be its my fault i thought my hosbond of 7 years was cheating on me so i whent hoime early one day and found him in the shower alone but me being me i looked in the whole house the last place i looked was the garage and then i had my hart attck and wound up hear.

i guess he wasen't cheating after all.

arivel 1: well if you'd looked in the blasted frezzer i would have lived!!

two men walk into a bar

shouting dringk for everyone

the bar tender askes

"whats the ocasion?"

the men then anounce that

they finely puta jigsaw puzzel

togather in 7 months

the bar tender once agin asks

"whats the ocasion?"

it shoulden't have taken you that long

hell the box sead two to four years!!!