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As embarrassing as this might be for me I’m more annoyed with the alternative. so I’m just going to say it out loud regardless if any should laugh or taunt. I actually don’t know or really understand anything about the sexuality lifestyle. Not even google has been able to be helpful to me. Yes I know I’m a very sad case because I’m completely clueless. Still stop this nonsense of trying I honestly don’t understand what you mean or say. It’s not like I’m doing any of this on purpose it’s because I really just don’t know what you are talking about. Sighs, and while some of you might tease me saying that I’m innocent and such like everyone else in my life. Understand that for so long I’ve been living a belief. of waiting for the right man in my life and I don’t think that I’m wrong in doing this. I guess that I really hope that when I do find that guy that he will appreciate that virtue I’ve nurtured for so long. I know that it might be a waste of my time and effort but still it means something to me in the end. Which is also why I don’t want to settle for just anyone. Everything that I have done would be for nothing but a mere thought that was once beautiful to me. Anyways please just understand that I’m not trying to be rude or mean this is just something that I preferred to keep to myself and hope that now you’ll understand. So if you really want to mock me or laugh guess that I’ll try to get used to this and realize that is my price to pay.

COMMENTS

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sPerAnZa
19:10 Apr 30 2019

If people are poking fun at you for not getting a dick joke or for not being in the “know” about sexual lifestyles, they’re nerds. That’s right. I said it, big old floppy nerds.
Don’t feel the need to have to overstate your own personal beliefs. You wanna wait. That’s really cool. You’re cool for standing by your morals.

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kyriaragnar33
19:30 Apr 30 2019

For awhile it made me feel terrible about myself but I realized how could a virtue be wrong. Also thank you for your kindness I appreciate it very much.

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sPerAnZa
19:41 Apr 30 2019

Usually people that consider themselves the most open minded are the ones that limit themselves to only what they know. You shouldn’t feel shame for being naive. It’s the person that knows better but chooses to still be a dick that should feel shame.
It’s a frustrating cycle.

Stay awesome.

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kyriaragnar33
19:51 Apr 30 2019

Still some days being taunted as innocent does get under my skin some days. I’m going to try to keep your advice into careful consideration for the years to come and thank you again.

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AbsintheandBlood
21:20 Apr 30 2019

Don't worry so much what people think.

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DevilsHorseman
22:44 Apr 30 2019

A persons mind, body, and soul belong to that individual person. It is that persons decision on how or what THEY choose to do with their beliefs and their body. People should respect that, not mock it. The people that are mocking are just showing how shallow and disrespectful they are. Showing their true colors
of their barbaric ways and mentality

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DarkestTemptation
02:29 May 01 2019

There is nothing wrong in waiting for ones true mate. I have waited for a long time too.

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ABHORASH
14:56 May 01 2019

Don't worry about what others think! If you are happy in the decisions you've made and in the person you are, that is all that really matters. Those who don't understand or are making fun of you aren't worth being around.
Wish them well, say goodbye, and be a happy you.

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markus666
20:14 May 10 2019

...You are an Individual, with your own individuality, and what ever someone say about you, is probably out of Jealousy. The way that you are, is like lightning for some, and they can not handle the energy that you produce. Keep up...Girl!!! You will always Rock!!

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kyriaragnar33
18:27 May 11 2019

Even so my life was always a simple one. I was either a healer, seer, or warrior. Nothing was complicated even if I didn’t like fighting. But just like all things in life time changes everything. It wasn’t until I was moved by a man that was surrounded by women and sat on a throne. Everything was in his reach and favor. However even though he never showed it to any. I could see it all so clear in his eyes and feel it in his heart. I didn’t know a lot about certain emotions and wondered. how could a man that had so much be so sad at the same time? So I made him a promise that day that he would see a different kind of light. One that he would always remember and cherish. To this very day I’m not entirely sure if I ever had fulfilled that promise. Still certain things like affection does seem to make me feel a little bit uncomfortable. Maybe I’m just strange or that I need to get with the current, who knows. I’m just me only asking for something so very simple in life. I want to thank all of you for your consideration and kindness. I thought for sure that maybe everyone who teased me for this was right. That my dream and morals were nothing of importance. I even found myself saying to let go of my pride and live as others say. But at the same time I knew that as a woman. Once we give up certain things we can never get those things back either. I just don’t want it all to be in vain but of something that has value.

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POST COMMENT

So I have my eyes set on this ancient artifact that only few can use it. Hopefully I’ll be able to get it sometime this month.

COMMENTS

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markus666
20:14 May 10 2019

Give me a hint...♥

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kyriaragnar33
17:46 May 11 2019

It a ancient artifact that was once used my ancient sorcerers. Do you recall the magic mirrors that they once used back then? Now I’m going to say that the difference between the real ones and some relics. It’s the knowledge of knowing how they were heated during this age. As far as the relics they were heated too quickly and as such. The reaction to this is most might notice that the outer part of the mirror is not clear but the center is. So when I noticed that the center of the mirror of this artifact wasn’t clear of course I was astonished. Yet skeptical if my eyes were mistaken. No I wasn’t and more so let’s just say that I have plans for this artifact.

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POST COMMENT

I don’t always need to see the future or even use my gifts most of the time. Most think that I’m constantly doing so. However that’s not exactly the case. True I can see numerous of things from others or even objects when touching them. I even feel how they feel that very moment a very troubling gift that frightened me for awhile when I was young. But just like most things in life all it really needs is time to mature and blossom. If your still wondering why I don’t necessarily have to use my gifts. Then I’ll tell you. I’m sure that some might have a good idea of just how much my intelligence level is. While some are still very curious just how far I can go. Personally I haven’t even seen my own limitations on this particular subject but no matter. Instead of just explaining into different complex words. I do prefer to just use a example instead and hope that others will come to understand. Let’s say for a instance someone gave me a sort scenario for their life or choices that they have. I am able to determine just what will happen down to the T. My ex fiancé assumed different like most people do but that’s were most find out the hard way so to speak. The present time or moments in life is far easier for me to figure out. than determining the pieces of something constantly in motion on the board. Both are mostly easy for me to see however one is just really a much more accurate option. No, that isn’t saying that if I do play chess with someone that I cheat using other things that I have. It’s really not needed for someone like me. It’s also not saying that when it comes to my moves that I can always see all either. As I explained in my previous entry I’m very unusual.

And yes this does mean that I have hurt others since the last time I’ve written. However even though this is so. I realized the frightening memories of who I once was long ago. Though I might hide my heart on my sleeve. I often wonder if this is truly best sometimes to evade my inevitable fate? Would I still feel the same pain as I do? Sighs...guess I thought that if I wasn’t a victim anymore it would be better for me. Apparently that isn’t the case for me.... but I think that is why I’m so unusual and yet so very strange. In my mind since I know that I’m always alone I have to go through the burden of my own heart. So I’ve been taking up so creative artistic work with wood carving. Maybe I’ll try to keep my mind busy from this pain of no matter what I do. At least it eases my time from it all. Although I must say that I am proud of myself for getting my delegation license and that my health is far better these days. I have so very much to be thankful for regardless of how much my heart does bleed from time to time. Even though that is true and my pain is never far away. I often think how beautiful the world is in my eyes and how sweet the sound of the ocean is being next to it at night. I’m always here to see how much wonder the world has to offer. How joyous I can laugh even if my eyes has seen the rain it’s still sunny. Perhaps I’ll always be a bit odd and most might worry if I’m going to break. Maybe I’m just reminiscing of a dream that might never happen? Or maybe I’m thinking that someday, I’ll have someone who truly understands me and will shield me from it all? Who knows I’ve seen too many possibilities of what is to come. In any case I will be online for a little while today and tomorrow so if anyone wants to get ahold of me I’ll be around.

Hmmm yes I know it has been ages since I’ve been online and I do apologize for that. However I’ve been rather busy and simply just needed to deal with some anger issues of mine. I suppose that it’s fine, but in a way it is not that easy to deal with either. I told myself that I wouldn’t regret how I was or that I wouldn’t cry. I guess that my dearest friend Markus was right. Although I do wonder what is worse for my heart sometimes? Hmmm well guess in a way it doesn’t really matter much. I mean it’s not as if I have any to protect me from these things that causes me so much pain. Perhaps in a way I will always be misunderstood and a bit strange.