I would have to say I woke up in a bad mood today. My thoughts are all over the place. I think I am depressed, not crazy depressed. I am not happy lately. I have been just going through the motions of everyday life. Screaming on the inside and hurt that the people around me who are suppose to care about me don't seem to notice or care. I can't let it get to me or I might fall apart. Brake down and cry, I don't like to cry. I have to be strong for my family or I will let them down. What can a girl do.......
What can I say about today? I didn't do much. I finally fell asleep after 6a.m. I slept for awhile. I havn't slept like that in years. I am just learning this site and feel out of it. I keep reading the vr manual.
Surprising as tired as i have been for the past year . I am feeling very sexy today. Must be all the extra sleep . Sexy I don't feel most days. so i guess eveyone should feel that way once in awhile. Not saying by any means i am not sexy , it's the feeling sexy i have had a problem with. The things i could say and don't . to wake-up feeling sexy is rare for me , but good.
Goodnight, what is so good about it . Most people are asleep . I find it calming, beautiful. I love the night air on a cold night. The sounds that only the night can bring. The moon when it is full makes me gasp . How wonderous and beautiful it is. So I will so goodnight.
What to do when the world seems to be passing you by? It seems that way sometimes . sleeplessness makes you ponder crazy little things. I still don't understand , how people can sleep their lives away. I can't do that , I won't do that . But how can one keep a clear head without sleep? There lies the problem. If you sleep to much ilfe passes you by. If you don't sleep enough you are considered a little crazy.
COMMENTS
I had a time when I was pretty much an insomniac. I got perhaps 4 hours a night tops. I love the night so much more that the day so I fixed the problem. I now have become almost entirely nocturnal. I go to sleep around 9am and sleep until about 5pm. So I am getting plenty of sleep and still find plenty of time in the evenings for family. If I need a day or two to take care of things I can't do at night I usually work it to where I can go to sleep fairly early in the night on Friday and Saturday and then I am awake all day on weekends. I feel great this way.
I am always up while others are sleep in their beds. wondering what tomorrow will bring. More of this can you do this ,can you do that crap. So tired of no type of affection , no type of appreciation. What is a girl to do? My mind races all of the time, it seems like it will never stop. I am the good girl , the good friend. I am here for you , but never for myself. Getting tired now , my mind still racing. My head feels like it is going to explode. constant thoughts of memories I wish I could forget. Staking me right in my heart. Am I just someone who cant sleep or something else , something more.
COMMENTS
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xeSevirD
12:44 Jan 03 2009
I'm sorry to say that I don't have a solution. But you need to focus more on figuring out your problem and not so much on being strong for your family right now. Your family will see that you are unhappy in everything that you say and do no matter how strong you thing you are being. You need that extra energy to help yourself right now so that you won't have to "act" strong. Everything will get much better after you do that I promise.