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I can never love you

As you cower from me

As you run away from me

You never wanted to love me



You never wanted to hurt me

You only wanted to kiss me

As you hid your hand from me

As you pull your hand away from me



But you'll never want me

Because you know you'll love me

Because you'll become part of me

And you savor being alone



So you'll never have me

But you can never say

I never gave you a chance

Because I gave you three



But nothing that you say

Can ever hurt me again

Because you burned your bridge to me

I gave you your chance with me

But I know I'm worth more than that



Lancelot no more

Because I stopped traveling

And ass you walk without me

You'll always regret losing my heart

But I lost nothing

I gained a memory



But whenever you see me

You smile at me like a friend

But you'll never get close to me

You denied me one kiss

You denied yourself my last kiss



You will never love me

Like you did for a moment

I will never love you

I will never love you

I will never love you

But I will love again



As I cried placebo tears for you

You look for another kiss

But it will never be like mine

It will always be blank and empty

With nothing to blame but your feet



As you shed your tears for me

No salt touches my wounds

Because I have healed them



You will never love me

Like you did for a moment

I will never love you

I will never love you

I never loved you

I never loved you

I will never love you

But I will love again

Drowned in the pull

Drowned in the piss

Of the singing

Faithless hick

Drowned in saliva

Drowned in cheap passion

In the mirage pool

I tossed my rations



I said I wouldn't

But I did

But there is no justice

I cannot win



Losing control

Over everything

I remember the tongue

Lashing venomous sting

Forked and laced,

A perfect drug

But just a temporary setative

For my heart gone numb

Paralyzed with fear,

Ripped out by lost love.



See my heart

Torn out and hung;

Painted black

So pity is none.

See my love

Dried up and rung

Deprived of

The taste she slung.



I see her next victim

Forging ahead

But I can't save him

Like me, he'll be dead.

Because I've become a victim

Of her hair so red

I might never be the same

And every day I'll dread.



Excuses, excuse

Cannot consume

The fear I feel

As death looms

I said "I love you"

Because I'm a fool

I forged ahead

But I knew it was doomed

Because when one has found an angel,

Its hard to walk amongst mankind.

Because when one has felt so happy,

Its anguish to recede to depressed times.

Because I've sniffed the sweetest scent,

Its hard to be near such acrid smeels.

Because I've tasted heaven,

Its hard to go back to Hell.



After hearing the most beautiful sound,

It breaks my ears to hear common voices.

After being oh so confident,

Its painful to be unsure of choices.



After seeing such beauty,

I hate such ugliness.

After growing old in merely hours,

Its so hard to regress.



After being in one place so long,

Its hard to leave in haste.

After drinking from the cup of love,

Its hard to stumoch mortal tastes.



Because when one has felt the kindest slumber,

Its torture just to stay awake.

When one has earned such boundless riches,

Its hard to put it all at stake.



When such things are to be damned forever,

Its easy to look the devil in the eye.

Becaus when I've been on the highest cloud,

Its easy to fall and die.



Because I've finally healed my wounds,

It hurts to see my scars.

Because for three days, I tasted beauty

And now I'm envious of tar.



The perfect drug, stained into my eyes,

Without it, my veiw is blurred and mixed.

I just traded in my innocence for pleasure,

And in the flames, I'll get my fix.

Where is my hate...

When I only feel pain?

Where is the sun...

When all it does is rain?

Where is your god...

When only evil reigns?

where is the asylum...

When I've gone insane?

Where is the freedom...

When I'm draped in chains?

How can you say you're pure...

When you flaunt your stains?



How can you think you're hiding...

When everyone sees your flaws?

How can you know what shoes you have...

When you only crawl?

How can you say that you're happy...

When you're such a cynic?

How can you think you are free...

When you see the lies you mimic?



Why do you claim to be unbroken...

When your scars are so visible?

Why are you now so ugly to me...

When you used to seem so beautiful?



How can you call me a liar...

When you never told the truth?

Why do you expect for things to now be even...

When its eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth?



Why do I now feel pure hate...

Where once lied psuedolove?

Why did you degrade me...

Was it just that time of month?

Archangel past me by so fast,

I reached till I broke my arm.

It snapped, it shattered, it snared my flesh,

The bone cannot ever heal.

From hell I looked upon her light,

I rose towards her in heaven.

Styx sunk on his way back,

And St. Peter closed the gates me.



Dietless, blood lost forever,

I stand here in the cold.

Not black, not white, just gray.

Not sun, not dark, just rain.



Stuck here amongst the thorns,

Stuck here all alone.

I trampled onto the satanic savior,

As his mask came off in front of me.



Alone and lost forever more,

My cortex turned to stone.

I saw my dream in front of me,

An oasis in the sky.



My wings, they melted, from the shining sun.

God doesn't care, Satan rejected me.

It hurts till the end of my worthless life.



Trapped in this world of dishonesty,

I tread through the filthy snow.

The sky so gray, the lights don't shine

In this world of emptiness.



So empty, so cold, what did I do for this?

What did I do so wrong?

I'm in purgatory now, for all of eternity.

Too good for Satan, too sinful for God,

I'm lost amongst the thorns.

Without you, I am everything.

Without you, I am living.

Without you, I just heal.

When you're here, I'm crying.

Before I ever saw your face,

I hated every day.

But because of you I go on hating,

And suffer where I stay.



I felt I was hanging by a thread,

And I know that I still am,

But now it's acid is your smile,

And your hair kills every strand.



I was days away from cutting off

My lifeblood at my veins.

But I saw your eyes, you smiled at me,

And I sped straight toward the pains.



I awake on every morning,

In hatred of your choice.

When I sleep, my nightmares of you,

I'd die to end your voice.



I was lost in an endless sea,

You were nonexistant land.

I would give eternity

Just burn your hand.



Your eyes look to mine,

Mine look to yours,

As you cause my dark charade.

Dying is my afterthought

After I see you each day.

You lied to me, you selfish bitch,

Your spirit burns me to the core.

You misuse speech to validate

Your selfish actions more.

At first, you had reason.

I saw within your mind.

But, when digging deeper,

Your reasons were not kind.



You speak, I try to listen,

As you pass bullshit on me.

Your broken body carries

A broken heart to be.



Your scars are not the reason

You are so ugly.

It's due to your 2-piece heart,

And I hand my half to thee.



I break apart the strands

I thought you held me by.

I fall into the pit,

And selfish you do cry.



I look up to your shadowed face,

Now calling out to me.

I close my ears, I lose all hope,

I gain insanity.



Do not ever expect

For me to understand.

My mind is again hopeless,

Because you cut the strands.



You reeled me in, you held me down,

I went unused at first.

But as soon as you saw a choice,

You left me dead and cursed.



Today, today, I was set free

By your cold decision.

But you can't come crying to me,

When you bleed black crimson.



You had your choice, you forgot me,

Whom showed you tastes of life.

A life that would be perfect,

One without former strife.



Your heart turned black,

Your voice is cold,

I see you now no more.

My love hath forsaken me,

For some voicless whore.

I fooled myself again,

Into thinking she would stay.

I fooled myself again,

That fate would go my way.

I hate myself again,

For the emotions that I've lost.

I wish that it was yesterday,

So I could heat before the frost.



Fate fucked me over again,

As my prophet said it would.

But fate was never mine,

And it never could.



For seconds only,

I felt pure happiness,

But it was only for a week or two,

Only to impress.



I was content for moments,

As I lived in my charade,

She put me on a hunger strike,

She put me on parade.



I want to taste that fate again,

I want to taste that joy.

I want to taste the fake smile

Of her secret ploy.