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i am feeling a voide from deep with in,

the pain of rejection rank with sin,

lust and love mixed up in my mind,

it hurts so much but i try and be kind.

i want so bad to touch your face,

but here i am stuck in this place.

this place of shadows and sorrow and such,

how i want to escape this all so very much.

i am tempted to purge and cut it away,

but dispite my cutting it is here to stay.

i reach out a hand to grasp at your heart,

but you pull it away and i fall apart.

is this how its to be lost and alone,

to feel rejected to have no home.

i so want more to have and to hold,

but all i feel is alone and cold.....

Silently I stare into your eyes

As if standing face to face before a looking glass

I recognize the struggle within your heart and your mind

I see the pain you have suffered

as it often mirrors mine

I find myself reaching through my own pain

To try to soothe you so that maybe

one day you will believe in love again

I see so much promise so much warmth

Like a shimmering sliver of hope

Feeling these feelings so foreign

In which I thought only existed in a childhood story

How I long to Speak the words

that I never thought I would again be able to say

I wish I could tell you I need you

and that I want you to stay

For now I will just linger

And keep these words beneath the pillow

where I lay my head to sleep at night

Like whispered secrets locked in a raindrop

Awaiting release as it splashes against the window pane

This sensation that I'm feeling is something new for me,

Never before have I faced such numbing obsurity,

The thunder clouds are formed out along the bay, the darkness in my heart will not leave today. I roll with the pointlessness of existing in this way each ticking second that scratches by gnaws my soul away.

The path I'm on right now is swallowed by the black, up ahead there's nothing but worse I can't go back. Each new day that dawns is the same as the last there's nothing here but emptiness as I move further down the path. Where are all the people that I used to know? Why aren't they walking with me, where did they all go?