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There are days that I wish I knew the right things to say or do to make everything okay. I seem to cause quite a bit of chaos when I least expect it. Funny how that works. I just don't know how people survive anymore. Somebody is always doing something that offends somebody else, or is taken out of context, or just taken completely the wrong way. I, of course, ALWAYS, and I do mean ALWAYS, seem to get it wrong. One day, I do something this way, it causes problems, so the next, I do the opposite, and it causes problems. I get told that it is because of the specific circumstances, they were different each time, and I should have done the opposite each time. I get a little confused after a while.



But I should be used to this by now, I have always caused trouble in one sort or another, whether it was intentional or not, most of the time not, but it has followed me most of my life. Sometimes I think that I am a fairly new soul, an old soul wouldn't be this screwed up, and wouldn't screw this many things up.



I am probably my own biggest enemy. I want so desperatley want to be loved and with my love, but I seem to sabotage myself at every turn. I don't even mean to do it. I just hope that I can get it right one day, before it is to late.