for a couple of years i have been feeling a bit unloved. i know this will sound like just another sob story read it or dont. i really dont care. lol
i just dont know, i know im young and have plenty of time ahead of me. but i have had sevire thoughts of depression. of course scuicide ran through my head like the 100 mile/kilometer marathon. and i will clear this up right now. i am not stupid enough to waist life just becuse i feel a little sad! i wont!!! yet i think of it and i sound tempting but i just wave it off so i can function to somthing else. i guess you can call me emo (i dont) but i purposely hurt myself (in other ways insteed of cutting). pain greater than death burns through me daily. then i turns into an adapt rage. and that my friends is what drives me. i have a terrible dark hate that will seem that jack the ripper sound like a simple rapist. i am almost evil incarnate. i have thoughts so sick that i laugh. (because i have nothing else i can do to express it.) needless to say i feel i must need love to tame this beast with in me. and maybe just maybe i could be happy even just for a minute. yet i set my hopes too high and i dont need people feeling sorry for me. but.... i just dont know i want love. i crave it. who cares.
peace,
D
p.s. even the worst of us need a "someone".
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