Today is the three year anniversary of when I awoke from my darkness.
Yes. I am only eighteen years old. My intelligence and maturity has receeded quite a bit since those days. You could say that I am happier now, if that is the correct word to use.
I learned very, very young what true pain is. That sounds rather egotistical, but it is true.
I am not as... bitter. I am not as wary of every person who walks towards me. I don't snatch my hand away if accidentally touched. I pull back slightly, but I don't panic anymore.
I still have nightmares about my dearest one's face. February 12th comes and goes every year, sleepless and tearful. Every night, every lonely night, is filled with its nightmares and its ghosts and angels.
But I have been clean for excactly three years now.
While I was laying here at four this morning, after playing SecondLife and procrastinating, I realized what today was. Got up. Made a cake.
Am I okay, today? Am I alright enough to go outside, and enjoy the air? Am I okay enough to nap for a few hours, without the nightmares? Am I fine enough to smile?
Perhaps, today I am. Today, maybe, I'll be able to feel okay...
COMMENTS
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GobletOfBlood
20:54 May 18 2008
We can only hope the time, can help erode away our sorrows... nice...