18:27 Feb 24 2009
Times Read: 705
It amazes me to think of all the masks we wear during our lifetime, ones for our professional life, ones we use around strangers, the masks to cover the pain, the anger, so many masks I forget if the face I am wearing each day is my own. What is truly amazing is how flimsy they are, how a lion can look like a lamb by smiling sweetly and speaking kindly - you wonder - can you truly not see my teeth beneath this smile? Doesn't the mane and tail give me away? Perhaps people only look at the surface, I suppose it would take effort to look deeper.
Looking back I realize also that the ties that bind us together that I once thought were so strong, ties of friends, ties of love, are actually as fragile as the silk in a spider's web and just as easily blow apart by a strong wind. Sometimes the ones you try to hold onto are the first to break. Looking back is not pleasant, seeing those things that are lost forever, the mistakes made, the possibilities that were missed.
Not that looking forward is any better. The path is still darkened, illuminated briefly by some stray moonbeam, and I am weary, yet I walk on. Listless, searching, not even remembering what I am looking for, only knowing that if I see it, I will remember. I climb the mountains only to forget that there is always the other side to fall down, and still I search, battered, bruised and broken. At times someone will venture onto my path, (one it seems that only I can see) they walk with me awhile, then see their own path and walk on leaving me alone again. The path is long, the way is hard, there seems to be no point in it, no one hears me scream for an end - any end, it no longer matters if it is good or ill. Just end this horrible emptiness, this black abyss in my soul- there is no answer save the wind blowing through the trees. And still I walk, endlessly searching...
COMMENTS
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dabbler
20:52 Feb 24 2009
When a person loses themselves behind the masks, then it is time to lay the mask aside. How many are drawn to the mask we no longer wear?