The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

08:49 Mar 25 2014
Times Read: 520

CONFIRMED: Dave Brockie (Oderus Urungus) Has Passed Away - Heavy Blog Is Heavy

It's with a heavy heart that I tell you that it is indeed true that Dave Brockie, the ever-so-special frontman for GWAR has passed on.

heavyblogisheavy.com

18:38 Mar 17 2014
Times Read: 529

What is up with that? A person says they are bored, so I oblige them with an attempt to engage their interest, and then they log the fuck off. Whiskey/Tango/Foxtrot WTF!?

Oh My!
12:50 Mar 17 2014
Times Read: 533

Playing catch up with The Walking Dead, and oh my was that kid a mental case. Never saw that coming. "Look at the flowers Lizzy."

03:51 Mar 16 2014
Times Read: 551

A man & his date parked by the road & wanted to have sex. The lady said,

“I should have said this earlier,I’m actually a hooker and I charge £20 for sex,” she said.

The man reluctantly paid her, and they had sex. After the act, the man refused to drive.

” Aren’t we going back to town?” asked the girl.

“Well, I should have said this before, I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is £50.”

23:12 Mar 15 2014
Times Read: 552

Amen Pass The !!!

08:00 Mar 15 2014
Times Read: 564




A very smart blonde mortician





A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.



The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’



The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly …



She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’



To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.



‘There’s no charge,’ she says.



‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.



‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. . . . . . . …



So I just switched the heads.’



(Bet you didn’t see that coming lol)

23:16 Mar 14 2014
Times Read: 569

Wouldn't it be cool to have an option to subscribe to journal entries, so you are alerted when activity occurs on the ones you commented on?





Yes 22 84.62 %

No 4 15.38 %

21:16 Mar 09 2014
Times Read: 579

The God Father of Comedy

18:42 Mar 07 2014
Times Read: 583

It is cool when I solve the CSI case before the show does. It's the power of deduction.

22:55 Mar 06 2014
Times Read: 593

Bill Nye IN Your Face.

21:01 Mar 05 2014
Times Read: 600

Penis Fencing!

18:03 Mar 03 2014
Times Read: 604

BILL HAS GONE AND DONE IT AGAIN...



They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.

I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,

Where you is,

What he drive,

Where he stay,

Where he work,

Who you be...

And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.



People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids.

$500 sneakers for what?

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.



I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2?

Where were you when he was 12?

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?

And where is the father? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward:

Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?



Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .....



I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid.

I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! !

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ......... And all of them are in jail.



Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job.

Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard..

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'



~Dr.. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed..D.

08:12 Mar 03 2014
Times Read: 610

Penis fencing is a mating behavior engaged in by certain species of flatworm, such as Pseudobiceros hancockanus. Species which engage in the practice are hermaphroditic; each individual has both egg-producing ovaries and sperm-producing testes.[1]



The flatworms "fence" using two-headed dagger-like penises which are pointed, and white in color. The mating ritual involves a violent battle during which two hermaphroditic flatworms attempt to pierce the skin of one another with one of their penises. The "winner" is the organism that inseminates the other; the winner becomes the father. The sperm is absorbed through pores in the skin, causing fertilization in the "loser," who becomes the mother.[2][3][4]



Child-bearing, while necessary for successful offspring production, requires a considerable parental investment in time and energy, and according to Bateman's principle, almost always burdens the "mother". Thus, from a biological point of view, it is preferable to be the father rather than the mother. However, there are other hermaphroditic species where both partners try to be inseminated rather than to inseminate.[3]

19:11 Mar 02 2014
Times Read: 621






Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?



Husband: Definitely not!



Wife: Why not – don’t you like being married?

…

Husband: Of course I do.



Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?



Husband: Okay, I’d get married again.



Wife: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)



Husband: (makes audible groan)



Wife: Would you sleep with her in our bed?



Husband: Where else would we sleep?



Wife: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?



Husband: That would seem like the proper thing to do.



Wife: And would you let her use my golf clubs?



Husband: She can’t use them; she’s left-handed.



Wife: – - – silence – - -



Husband: shit.

17:30 Mar 02 2014
Times Read: 627

The thing is, I never liked this song. But it is amazing what a cover can do. Maybe it is the absence of the annoying singer. it doesn't hurt that the band is all attractive females either.