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My hearing is worse and worse each month now loud noises are kicking my ass. It hurts like a bitch. I just wish I could catch a break

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PandorasBx
04:54 Feb 17 2010

I'm truly sorry my friend :(

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I have been asked why I go places looking like a whipped dog, I never noticed that I did that until a few people pointed it out. Today I came up with the answer after I was once again gone off on.



I have been beaten most of my life, I don’t remember half of my life, I guess I blocked most of it out because of them being to painful, I count my blessings. But the shit I do remember is what gets me.



Every time I turn around I piss someone off, now I don’t get smacked around anymore but damn sometimes the shit they say about me is just as bad as being back handed. No matter what I do its never good enough for anyone or anything. Everyone thinks that I cant make my own decisions and that I need to be reminded that I’m lower the what I thought I was.



Today I took care of my aunts dog as usual I took care of the dog, I refilled the container my aunt gave me to feed the dog. Well as we were leaving to go to the store she came home. She thought that because the stupid container was filled that I didn’t feed or take care of her precious dog. She called my sister and told her that it was the last straw that all I do is sit around on my fat ass all day and do nothing.

She came home earlier today needing me to watch her dog well when she came home it was still morning and I was in my sisters room spending time with my little one. Because of that and every time she gets home I am relaxing or spending time with my little one. Because of that she assumes I’m home all day doing nothing. BULLSHIT!! I do take care of shit and then the kids get home and it looks like I have done nothing. So sometimes on occasion I wait till everyone is asleep to finish the house. Because that way when the kids are at school and the house is left to me and my baby I can view a clean house.



Still even with a clean house and a warm meal my aunt and other people find shit wrong and always have to remind me where I belong.



I am never aloud to say anything as to how I feel out of fear of repercussions. After years of being reminded shit you learn to stay silent for the punishment is always worse when you say or do anything.



Well today this whipped dog finally snapped at one of the assholes in this world.



My god I wish for one day where I can say how I feel and not fear of pissing off the hand that feeds me. Hell I fear even speaking in public for the same reasons. I am so motherfucking whipped its not funny. I HATE IT. Why do I always have to put my tail between my legs? What did I ever do to deserve feeling as though I am lower then dirt?



I’m tired…..so damn tired. My heart hurts, my soul hurts. I can handle physical pain hell I prefer it to the mental and emotional.



I know others have had it worse then me and I am dreadful sorry for what they go through, but to each person pain is different, and this is mine.



I don’t write this shit for anyone’s pity but for my own release of my heart. My soul is screaming inside wishing for rest and peace. I want things but I know I will never have them. I rarely have hope for anything anymore. Now I am truly starting to hate everyone equally.



I can so relate with Savitar, his saying; “How would I know? I have no friends. People basically suck and all friends will screw you over in the end.”



I will just continue being the quiet one and stay where I belong. As long as I keep my mouth shut and do as I’m told mostly I can please them.



As for the others the can just kiss my ass cause eventually I’ll disappear and they can bitch about me to whomever and I wont ever have to worry about hearing it.



So yeah that's me the whipped dog, yeah i have so much goddamn potential, there's such depth to me, I can be a beautiful woman if I wanted to be. Yeah right the bitch was so totally wrong. I know my place, I'm so not trying to piss anyone else off

"It actually dawned on me that I don't fight.I just kill whatever annoys me and its over"

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PandorasBx
05:15 Feb 11 2010

LOL! I like that, it should be my mantra :D

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

"I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for a few hundred years. "

"Do you remember what happened to you the last time you tried to tell a Devereaux what the city laws were?"

"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. "

If you dance with the dragon, you will get burned.

"You’re lucky I’m not the animal you think I am. But if you come near my mate again I will be"

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. "

Love is like a rose in winter, only the strong survive

"I don't know nothing about birthing puppies, Miss Scarlett, but I can cleave the head off a Daimon without breaking a sweat."

""Oh, I assure you I've nailed quite a few signs with my forehead. It's a wonder 'Exit' isn't permanently imprinted right between my eyes.""

"I'm sick of the whole 'my gun will solve all' mentality"

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

No one gets out of life alive. Trust me, I know.

"You're not supposed to bite your father Simi "

"Owning's not so bad.I own akri and he kinda fun"

Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.

"We are going to rip off your testicles.......and slash your tires."

" If you live in fear, you will die a coward."

""I wanted to thank you for what you did tonight, but as I considered that, it dawned on me that you have never once in eleven thousand years done anything for me for free. The sheer fear factor of that realization alone has made me come seeking you. So what gives?""

"How would I know? I have no friends. People basically suck and all friends will screw you over in the end. Take my word for it."

Get your hands off her, you worthless footnote. You’re not fit to wipe her shoes"

Old enough to know better, pissed enough not to care

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. "

"Tell Fang-Boy I’m not a pet. If he doesn’t take a nicer tone to me, he’s going to be really sorry"

"No blood no foul."

Death is only the beginning. Trust me.

" Death Becomes Us All."

Anything worth killing is worth killing right.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then riddle them with bullets.

" I hang with the dead sometimes. They can be extremely entertaining, especially the whiny ones"

Sometimes things have to go wrong to go right

To accept a favor is to sell one's freedom

"Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? "