Now I am in a delima what to do, I have fallen to a voice that I heard for the first time yesturday, a voice of reasoning and safety. A voice that will never harm me a voice that would love me til one of us died, but do I listen to reason do I follow my gutt. I think I will soooner than anyone knows, I think its time to start fresh and give that voice a chance, I feel safe when I hear it it like there's a invisible wall protecting me.
How can a person go through there life abused and tormented by the past repeating itself and one voice crys out and you hear it and you know in your heart its the right thing?
Longing to be loved my whole life has always been a dream and I have always fallen on my face. Things change it, I don't know when they quit loving me or I quit loving them but it always changes. For some reason I get my heart ripped too pieces and stomped on, everytime.
I thought this time was for real but I was sooooo wrong. It had never resorted to violance but I think I got involved for the wrong reasons. I felt sorry for him ,mainly his kids how could anyone let there children live like that with no parent support no normal in there lives just parents who are there when it suits them and then put the kids aside, thats why I got involved and I have shown his children that there is good in this world and they can trust people and thrive, I clothed them cooked for them and fell in love with them as I did my own when they cried their first breath. I feel as his children are mine and its killing me.
Now I've been offered someplace to call a home, someplace that will love me and my children no matter how bad or good they are, someone to love me for who I am. Never to judge me but love me, what do I do?
I'm in between a rock and a hard place.
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