I was walking, alone, over short, stubbly grass, and I was wondering how I was going to get where I was supposed to be on foot. I knew I had a long way to go. I topped a low hill and stood looking at a lake. I knew I needed to be on the other side, the north side of the lake. I wasn’t as much tired from walking as I was suddenly disheartened by the knowledge that skirting this lake would add several miles to my trip. About halfway between me and the lake I spied a woman with a horse. She was under a tree, brushing the horse. I approached and she stopped, shielded her eyes from the sun and watched me. I said Hi. She said she had been waiting for me. She would give me a ride to the other side of the lake. I was relieved and introduced myself. She said she knew, she was waiting for me, remember? I asked her name and she said it meant nice, or pretty, or beautiful, or princess, depending on the language or dialect. She asked if I was hungry. I dug a small apple out of my pocket. She cut it up with a knife and we shared it with some white, hard cheese and flat bread she had. We talked a little bit. We had very little background in common, but shared a lot of interests and goals. She picked up her ground cloth, rolled it up and stuck it in a bag and announced that we should go. I was disappointed that our pleasant moment together would come to an end, but I agreed, knowing I was supposed to be somewhere. I cupped my hands and she vaulted onto the back of her horse. She extended me an arm and pulled me up behind her. I told her I wasn’t exactly comfortable on horseback, particularly without a saddle. She told me to hang on and it would be OK. She swung the horse south, putting the lake, and my destination, behind us. I told her I needed to be on the north side. She said she knew that, but could I think of a more interesting way to get there than by heading south? I smiled and held on. It was going to be a very long and interesting ride.
Appropriate to the season:
A lad was walking home from school late one night and he took a shortcut through a cemetery. He was approaching the gate to leave the cemetery when he heard a noise behind him; a “BUMP…BUMP…BUMP”. He turned around and saw an upright coffin about 100 feet behind him. He didn’t notice it when he walked past that spot, but it was dark and he ignored it. He left the cemetery and turned down the lane.
“BUMP…BUMP…BUMP”. The boy turned around to see what the noise was. He was 80 feet from the gate he just left. Standing in the lane was the upright coffin. He turned away and began walking quickly.
“BUMP…BUMP…BUMP”. The boy looked over his shoulder and the coffin was banging its way down the middle of the street after him, not 60 feet behind him. The boy breaks into a run for his home.
“BUMP..BUMP..BUMP”. The boy hears the coffin gaining on him and he realizes that he can’t outrun it. He takes his book bag and flings it at the coffin. The coffin continued closer, the lid slowly swinging open.
“BUMP.BUMP.BUMP”. He feels the coffin looming over him as he runs. He empties his pockets throwing things at the coffin, pencil, eraser, comb, coin purse, still the coffin advances.
“BUMPBUMPBUMP”. Almost on top of him, the boy digs into his pocket and finds a packet of cough drops and hurls them in desperation at the coffin…
And the coffin stops.
COMMENTS
Ok I must be stupid because I didn't get it.
I get it! I get it! I get it! lol... *cough* :P
Oh, good gods and gravy boats ...
I'm going to poke you.
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