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I have met a person who seems to care about me. And i do her but i can't seem to tell if its what i think or something different. At one moment we are fine and talking and then poof she is gone or something. I can't tell if its me or the difficult time she is going through or just we are always busy. I just wish for an straight answer, I feel i know tha answer but still i''m unsure. But this is just whats on my mind. Can it be true or am i just hopeing falsely.

My soul is millions of years old i have done a past life regression for every life i have had. I have seen pain suffering death slatter pleasures and pains that no human can even imagin. But never before have i lost a wife or child to a devorce. And the women i have lost i gave everything to. My heart my soul and my will. So its hard to find that she no longer loves me and she has my son so i can't see him every day i can't hold him i can't do anything with him My Heart is heavy right now and it akes so much every minute of the day i haven't been happy for two months now all my friends turn there backs on me because they were her friends not mine. I have a family right now who sees me nothen a source of money and a maid for the house.



I have no one that loves me or even cares i'm alive for anything else then work and money. I'm only noticed if i don't do what is asked of me. I can't stand it i gave everything and it wasn't enough just because it took me some time to find work and i didn't have enough money. She never gave me a chance to show that i could support her and our son.. And after a year of being together she was just able to drop me like it ment nothing. LIFE IS HARD AND I CAN'T FIND A PERSON WHO IS WILLING TO CARE.



In a way i'm like you i dont want love any more but passion is still something i like and being a man crave. Not more for the physical contact but for the fire that it brings to my blood and the feeling of drunken loss that comes from it. But after everything i don't even have the chance to even experience that. I just seem to be surrounded hatred and loss. This is what is in my head.

COMMENTS

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brokenheartedwerewolf
07:08 Mar 04 2010

you know the last part of this is not intirely true i do wish for love but i will take what i can get with how i am right now.

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PerfectDisaster
01:49 Mar 26 2010

I love you baby

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Well its another day and its hard as usaul. No love No friends and no son. My heart hurts all the time and i'm starting to have dreams of shooting my self and what scares me about it is it feels so real.



I'm scared but mostly scared of being alone i wish i could find some one who cares i have seen what it is to live alone in life and i don't want to end up like that. I just pray to the gods that some one will come around i can't take this feeling any more. I can't stand that lack of sleep and the nightmares. I haven't had a dream in nine years and now they are with me in nightmares.

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Eleanna
21:16 Mar 03 2010

Aww thats awful for you to feel that way, it is hard being on your own sometimes, does get very lonely at times but you'll get through it :)

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PerfectDisaster
01:50 Mar 26 2010

Baby your no longer alone .. you have me and always will ... no more nightmares only sweet sweet dreams of us

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