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Ok, so I believe I've lived long enough to know how a man's mind work. This is a typical day for a man once his feet hit the floor in the morning (after he takes care of that morning pee pee woody of course) He stands before the mirror and says:

"Damn I'd like to see something naked." he gets in the shower....."I need to get my oil changed today and damn I'd like to see something naked and get laid." He dresses, brushes and flosses...and thinks, "maybe if I play it right I'll get laid tonight".......Downs a cup of coffee and thinks, "boy, if I could get a hot warm bj like this that would be awesome." On his way to work he thinks, "I wonder what that chick in that Benz looks like naked...oh yeah, gotta check the oil in my car." Then, every other thought at work is either a naked thought or a sex thought until lunch when he grabs a hot dog at the vendor and says, "Oh yeah....I'd make this Ballpark look like a toothpick." "Speaking of toothpicks, I wonder if that Olive Oil looking broad in financing is as kinky as the chick in the cafeteria?"

And so continues his brain activity until 5pm when he escapes the confines of his dull office lighting and hits the streets wondering the exact same things he did once his feet hit the floor that morning. And once again he remembers and says outloud, "Damn, I need to get my oil changed!" which is followed by, "Damn I'd like to see something naked."

If I'm wrong, somebody prove it so....

COMMENTS

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ApatheticMii
00:33 Jun 11 2013

This is so damn sexist it isn't even funny.



If I wrote this same thing, except geared towards stereotyping women, I would get painted a sexist pig. Yet, if a woman does the same thing no one bats a fucking eye.



The double standards of society piss me off.

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KingOfTheZombies
01:04 Jun 11 2013

This is damn funny (untrue yet damn funny).



However, I have to agree with the commenter above me. Such stereotypes made about women would be greeted with hostility.

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brileybeauford666
01:39 Jun 25 2013

Sexist? Seriously? Ok, maybe so...but it was funny just the same.

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brileybeauford666
00:20 Jul 07 2013

And Big Z, I know your every other thought is about something naked or sex.....so there! hahahahahaha

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POST COMMENT

If I've learned anything in this life, it's maintain your dignity. At all costs, maintain your dignity. Years after those trying moments have passed, you'll relive them in your mind. Trust me on this, you'll want to look back and say, "Yeah, I handled that with class and grace." You'll want to be able to say, "That was one of the worst times of my life and I survived it. And so did my dignity."

It doesn't really matter how bad things get, but how you handle those bad times will always matter. You survived it, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You have nothing to be ashamed of as long as you handled it with grace and maintained your dignity.

That's what my grandmother taught me. And she was so right about that.