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I said "I love you" today

I tried hard to make you believe it

I tried hard to believe it myself

But the truth is that I hate you my love

I hate you now

and I hated you when I said it

When I look into your eyes

all that I can see

is a string of broken promises

lies stacked upon lies

things that you wanted to do but never tried

and the countless missed opportunities created by

the millions of precious moments I'll never get back

Yes, I hate you

I hate who you are

I hate what you've made me

and most of all I hate what we've become

Even if I could love you

and all of your cruel ways

I could never love what we've become

a sickening, rotten display of denial

a putrid example of naivete run amok

and a horrid case of idealism gone too far

I don't love you

but I love who you were supposed to be

I love what I thought you were

but you never understood yourself

you never make an attempt to understand me

and now no one

not even the Gods above

can understand us

So why, why do I say I love you?

Is it a reflex

or perhaps just words uttered in fear?

No, my love, I say I love you because they are just words to me

words like any other in the language

the only difference is that they're the ones you want to hear

and until you want to hear others

I'll repeat them to you again and again and again

just because I've lost the will to fight

I've lost the heart to argue

and I truly don't care enough to speak the truth

If that's your idea of love

then I hope you enjoy it

It's the way you made me

the way you taught me

the way you groomed me

and I hope you enjoy your "I love yous"

because I know you've worked so hard for them

and even though they're shallow and wasted

they're just like the love we share

I think even you can agree

that they're the perfect words for you

even if they're words just like

any other words in the language.