The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

it's me again
14:46 Aug 27 2006
Times Read: 569






Hey Jennifer, it’s me again, but you probably knew,



I hope that you’re happy, Jennifer,



And that things are going well for you.



Because, I’m not doing so well,



Without you here, Jennifer,



My life is a living hell.



I am always alone, thinking to myself,



I mostly sit around all day, Jennifer,



Like a faded picture on the shelf.



I’m scared, Jennifer, I wish you would have known,



That ever since you died and left me,



I have been so alone.



Mom is scared for me, I can see it in her eyes,



She is always awake at night,



Sometimes she even cries.



Everyday goes by so slow, hours are like days,



I’m living in a nightmare,



Because now I know this isn’t ‘just a phase’.



I’m very lonely Jennifer, I thought you were my friend,



But you left me,



When I thought you’d be with me until the end.



I’m pretty young, I just turned nigh teen,



But my heart breaks so much,



I’m surprised I’m still alive.



Well, it’s time to leave now Jennifer, I see mom with the car



Goodbye, Jennifer, I miss you,



And I wish you weren’t so far.



I LOVE YOU

The Fight Song
16:34 Aug 26 2006
Times Read: 581

The Fight Song

nothing suffocates you more than the passing of everyday human events

isolation is the oxygen mask you make your children breath into survive

but i'm not a slave to a god that doesn't exist

but i'm not a slave to world that doesn't give a shit

and when we were good you just closed you eyes

so when we are bad we're going to scar your minds

fight, fight, fight, fight



you'll never grow up to be a big-rock-star-celebrated-victim-of-your-fame

they'll just cut our wrists like cheap coupons and say that death was on sale today

and when we were good you just closed you eyes

so when we are bad we're scar your minds

but i'm not a slave to a god that doesn't exist

but i'm not a slave to world that doesn't give a shit



the death of one is a tragedy, the death of one is a tragedy

the death of one is a tragedy, but death of a million is just a statistic



(chorus)



fight, fight, fight, fight

coma white- Marilyn Manson
16:28 Aug 26 2006
Times Read: 583

COMA WHITE

Something is cold and blank behind her smile

She's standing on an overpass

In her miracle mile

(coma):

"You were from a perfect world

A world that threw me away today

Today to run away"



A pill to make you numb

A pill to make you dumb

A pill to make you anybody else

But all the drugs in this world

Won't save her from herself



Her mouth was an empty cut

And she was waiting to fall

Just bleeding like a polaroid that

Lost all her dolls

(coma):

"You were from a perfect world

A world that threw me away today

Today to run away"



A pill to make you numb

A pill to make you dumb

(chorus repeat)

Goodbye Jennifer
14:43 Aug 26 2006
Times Read: 588

i thought about it all day long.... thought about what it would be like if i just said fuck it and decided to take my life....would there be pain? would it hurt the second i pulled the trigger?

i want to leave so bad but something keeps me here

i wish it didn't....i hate her for leaving

she promised me that things would be better

and yet she leaves me here in this world of pain

why have i been forsaken?



it didn't really look like her

i kept thinking...this is just a bad joke

anymoment now she's gonna pop out of the casket and this will all be a bad joke.......but she never did

as they lowered her body into the ground it finally

hit me



this is real ...she's really dead and she's not coming back

lonelyness has filled me and isn't letting me go

thoughts of death and sucide are controlling my every move

i wonder....will i be stronger than her or will i meet the same fate as she did?





Raven

remember like it was yesterday
07:36 Aug 26 2006
Times Read: 594

you left before your time

i thought about you today as i sat and stared at your grave



as tears ran down my face i remembered all thouse memories that can never be erased



i remember all the good times

the laughter and the tears

memoires that warm my heart

when i look back on those happy years

but every time i remember

my heart begins to ache

those specail times weren't real for you

your smile was just a fake

you though that no one loved you

your heart was breaking inside

your soul was crying tears

that you tried to despritely to hide







i wept betterly over you

i cried for your hurt inside

i knew it was no acciden't

i knew you committed suicide

i cried that you had hurt so much

and cried that you died alone

i cried because i blamed myself

i cried because i shoud have known

it's been days now and i get stronger as time goes by



i try to put the past behind me and forget you chose to die

but then something makes me think of you and of that tragic day

and i still remember like it was yesterday





good bye Jennifer ...i'll always love you



1986-2006

17:14 Aug 13 2006
Times Read: 615

it hurts to be this way and watch as u destroy me

u push your dagger inside of me and i watch as my blood touches your shirt



i wanted to belive it wouldn't end with me





i'm standing on the edge hoping someone will catch my fall

do u see me here? reaching for you?

i asked u to save me but you just turned away

fuck u for never caring, fuck you for breaking your promises of me being free



did you enjoy it as i fell?





i'm sorry i couldn't save the others

i'm sorry i couldn't protect them i wasn't strong enough



today they finally got me

as i lay under this debree and stare at the beautful sky my lifeless body can't wait to see you again

i'm sorry i failed you but i did the best i could, the only way i could



i'm sorry







Raven

i'm sorry everyone
06:13 Aug 12 2006
Times Read: 637

i don't know why i'm writing this but i feel i need to in case i lose the chance to say it



i'm sorry :



Mom- for never listening to the advice you always gave me i know i'm stuberning just like Mike and Amy or for not turning out the way u wanted



Dad - for never being the son you always wanted

and for being so weak all the time, i hope u can forgive me for not following in your footsteps

i hope u find a son u really love one day and not just say it to to feel better about your self



Mike- for being such an annoying little brother i know u have alot and i'm sorry i pestered you so much

i really never ment to be a bother to you

for never picking up the gutair after u left

i guess after u left , me not playing again was my way of mourning for you



Amy- for never saying thank you whenever you got me out of trouble or bought me something

lol i'm sorry i was such a brat

for not helping u out with Todd or Christain



Todd- for always being a brat and never saying sorry, for never telling u that your the best brother i've ever had and i hope u find your happiness one day



Angelica- for being such a horrible uncle

for not letting you stay up late with me that night

for not letting you get junk food that time at the party

for not letting u hang out with me when u needed someone to talk to when your mom left







Christain- for not playing video games with you that night u begged me to

for not being the uncle that u needed

for not letting u sleep on the couch or eat candy all the time lol

for not giving you the hugs i should have



Missy- for being such a horrible boyfriend, u deserved much better than that and i'm sorry i hurt you



Jeanna- for never being there for you when you needed me or a shoulder to cry on, for never saying the words "i love you" when you really needed to hear them



April- for always giving up when we both knew i could do better, for never saying i'm sorry

for always getting on your nerves , for breaking your heart and for always bringing you down

i hope you soar above the clouds one day like you've always wanted



Jessie- for never being the strong brother that u needed, for letting u slip back down into deppression that was my fault and i'm sorry



Ashley- for never telling u how i felt and holding my feeling for you in i should have spoke up before it was to late

i hope u and steave live a beautyful life togeather

u deserve it





Linda- for making u cry so many times on the phone

for never getting that plane ticket like i promised and coming to see you

for not being able to hold you and show u that i cared, i love you



for those in my life who might or might not read this i'm sorry for letting u down or for the mistakes i've made

i love u all







Raven

fucked up and confused
05:48 Aug 12 2006
Times Read: 639

what do u do when u see a friend u haven't seen in ages?

someone u use to have a crush on and loved so much but were afraid to tell?



i saw her and instantly memories flooded my head





.....i've had a shitty week

my dad lost his job and his truck ...i got arrested for punching his boss in the face becuase he said something i didn't like and plus he got an additude with me

now my stepmoms car is broken, we're gonna lose the house and i hate my senior year so far

i don't know anybody in my classes and i'm the only senior and everysingle class

i sit at the back and everybody stares at me the whole time

i try to ignore the absured stares but sometimes i just want to murder those fucking morons



this fat chick kept talking about the way i dressed and pointing at me like i couldn't hear them so finally i told her that if she didn't shut the fuck up i'd slit her throat and rip her face off



fuck i hate my life

i tried to tell jessie something today but the words got stuck in my throat and i felt like i couldn't breathe

i hope my parents get a divorce again so i don't have to listen to them bitch and i don't have to keep fighting my old man

one day i'm gonna just snap and commit murder

why i haven't already i don't know

maybe i'm insane for not fighting back or i could just weak like he said i was

oh well fuck em



go to hell i'll see u there



Raven