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Sometimes i feel so alone. Perhaps loneliness has taken over my life so much that its numbed my spirit.

Im never technically alone, but children can not give you the same fulfillment an adult relationship can give you.

I feel that as soon as i let my guard down and let someone in its an automatic invite for my heart to be broken.

I know im a good woman, i know i deserve to find someone to be happy with. yet all i find are men who are already in relationships, or men that need a shrink more then they need a girlfriend. Wondering what im doing wrong. I hate feeling this way, and i know i dont need a man to complete me, but i miss having someone to hold in the night, to kiss and know that they love me maybe a little bit more then i love them. I havent felt that in so long, and its my one craving. One i am not sure i will ever be able to quench. Everytime i drop down that wall i end up flat on my face.

I dont consider myself an ulgy person, i know i am funny, always been considered one of the boys, except all the boys seem to want to have sex with me. Im more then that.. i deserve more then that, and that is why i have chosen to be single for such a long time now. I know how the male mind works. I see through fakeness, and am all to aware how testosterone takes over most mens minds, I want to find my prince charming. i want to have my happy ending, Every day, week, month and year that passes by, that happy ending gets farther and farther away. Yet i dont want to ever let go. I want to be happy i want to make someone happy. What to do, where to turn, what now????

COMMENTS

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Karma
02:39 Mar 16 2010

We seem to have alot of the same feelings and I know with me it is not the loneliness but the abscence of the one I love. I dont need a woman to be by my side at all times but I do feel without the one I have chosen and had chose me at one point I feel as if I am only half of what I am and sometimes not that much. I still love and stay true to my heart but I miss the physical connection and having her by my side to be there for me as I am for her. I do not need to hear her tell me she loves me but I do need to be able to be there for her when she needs me and that makes me happy but lonely. I was curious if theyre is that someone for you and if that is in fact what you are feeling or is it like the feeling I sometimes have when I get to thinking that I was not meant to just be that shoulder and I deserve that shoulder sometimes as well. I usually dismiss this feeling pretty fast when I start to have these thoughts because I still believe that I am spiritually strong enough to love this way unconditionally all though everyone tells me that I deserve to have more than that. I might be totally off on where I am coming from but what you have said really started a flow of emotions and concerns of my own.

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bbbchick
04:46 Mar 16 2010

im pretty sure that ive had my feelings trampled on so many times before that the feelings that i once shared for the one person i thought meant something may still be under the surface, im not sure i miss them i think i miss feeling that emotion i felt while i was with them. Im not sure who i want .. i know what i want , i know its not feeling this way.

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