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I had to get blood work done today. I don't like blood. I also don't like needles. I'm not to sure why the doctor asked that I get some blood work done but, I did.



From the moment I walked into the room, I was tensed, stressed, nervous, and worried. For some reason I guess I have a HUGE fear of needles and blood. So, I wasn't very happy with either of those two and the whole entire time I was nervous and the took the lady who was trying to take my blood a total of five minutes to find a vein but, she couldn't because I was so tense and nervous. Needless to say, she managed to take my blood with a butterfly needle (or a baby needle as some might call it, and yes I like to have my blood taken with a butterfly needle. I don't know why though. I just do.)



Anyways, I came home and called my Sire Jamie when I told him, he laughed about it then, afterwards, he asked if I was okay, I said I was fine then, we hung up. He's probably still laughing about this in his head. When it comes to needles or blood, I get freaked out, I don't know why though. *sighs*



So, that's my journal post for the day. Yes, you can laugh about this and call me a baby, I won't mind. My parents think it's funny as hell to.



:)



~Tory~

COMMENTS

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LadnaKobieta
03:32 Mar 28 2015

I am not going to laugh or call you names. I do not like needles or blood either. I try to look away when they are doing it. sometimes it works and sometimes it does not... lol

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(I'm not depressed while I was writing this, I just want to get this out.)



I'm (usually) a happy, positive person. But, there's are times where I do get depressed. I suffer from depression (actually, I suffer from moderate depression) and when my depression does kick in, I go to that place in my mind where all the negative thoughts are, and I sit and stew about them, which makes me even more depressed.



Some of the negative thoughts are:



"I'm overweight."



"I'm not very pretty/beautiful."



"I was sexually assaulted and it's my fault. I did this to myself."



"I'm not like everyone else. I'm different."



"I don't look like everyone else. I wish I blonde hair, blue eyes and I wish I were skinny like everyone else."



(This is the last thought)



"Nobody understands me."



These thoughts are (some) of the things that make me sad. In my younger days, I use to be suicidal but, I'm no longer suicidal.



I guess some of the things that make me depressed are the things that are going on in my head. I have voices that scream at me on a daily basis that I'm useless, I'm worthless and/or I won't amount to anything. If I'm volunteering at my local high school and the voices are screaming at me, I can't step into the nearest bathroom/hallway whenever that happens, I just let them scream at me until I break down or I suffer an anxiety attack in front of my bosses and my coworkers. I fight a battle in my head every day but, usually I can't tell my parents or anyone else about it because, they wouldn't believe me.



Even through my worst days, I've found a more healthy outlet to express my feelings: writing. It's gotten me through all kinds of shit and also talking to my friends and my sire have also helped. Even if I can't write at that moment in time, I usually write during my lunch break and that helps. Also begin around positive people also helps and listening to upbeat music helps as well.



For the past two years, I've tried to deal with the negative feelings/emotions that I have about myself. Even though I'm still learning how to deal with the depression that I have I just have to take a couple of deep breaths and take a couple of steps back, close my eyes and try my best to block out the negative thoughts/feelings that I have. It may not always work at times but, I try. Along with the Serenity Prayer and the slogan's that I've learned in the Al-teen/Al-non program have helped me as well.



I'm very blessed to have a program like Alteen and Al-non to let out some of the emotions that I've had during the week. I may not go therapy but, my support group is all the support that I need for right now.



Most of my negative thoughts/feelings stem from my childhood. When I was younger my parents were really protective over me and I was very sheltered. My only friend (back then) that I had was my neighbord Ashlee. I would go over to her house almost once a week sometimes, twice a week. I know it would bother her a lot even if she didn't say anything to my face but, I felt like she was my only friend, we both could share things and we could get things off of our chest if we needed to. Even though she no longer lives next door to me and I miss her like crazy. She was there for me when times were tough and she tried to help as much as she could and I'm very thankful for her help that she gave me.



And I think this it for now. Maybe? I don't know. :)



"God, grant me the serenity,

To accept the things that I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference"



~The Serenity Prayer~



~Tory~

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LadnaKobieta
03:40 Mar 28 2015

I know what you mean about the feelings and thoughts. I was also abused as a child and I do understand and if you would like to talk about anything just know that i am, here. I know you have feiends and a sire. I am just offering to be there as well for you in times of need or anytime...

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Before I post this, I just wanted to say, I had my Sire's full permission before I wrote this.



My Sire name's is Jamie, he's twenty one and works as grease monkey from 7am to 4pm, four days a week. Even though, he can be an asshole at times, he's still my best friend and mentor.



His personality varies day to day. Usually he's a nice, level headed guy, who doesn't give a fuck about anyone (expect for me and his two buddies, who are also supernatural's as well.) Some day's, he's an asshole, mostly because, he's tired, sweaty, smells like oil and grease when he comes to visit me and he just wants to relax with a cigarette when we talk either during his lunch break, after he gets over to my house or he just comes over, to come over after a long day of work.



Jamie's family life isn't a good one, it still isn't. I can't go into too much detail because, he asks that his personal life not be revealed to much, and I respect that. So, what I am allowed to tell you, is his mother and father are pieces of shit, and he has three brothers, four sisters, and a half brother. That's all I can tell you.



That's all I can post about him. I bet you guys were expecting some super badass story about him well, you aren't going to get one. Jamie's a "normal" person who is just trying to live his life as normally as he possibly can, while still trying to balance out his human side during the day and his vampire side at night, and helping me learn about the ways of a vampire.



I idolize him. Yeah, we fight over stupid shit but, at the end of the day, we still respect each other and I'm very proud to call him my Sire/Mentor. I've also seen him battle his demons with drugs and booze, which I'm happy to say, he's two years clean with both of his demons locked away in a part of his mind, that he won't open up to anyone expect to his very small band of friends/brothers.



Two years ago, tragedy struck us both very close to home. I received a phone call from him with him choking back tears (Jamie very rarely cries). Jamie got a call from an officer saying that our best friend Chaz was found dead on the side of a highway bleeding out all over the side of the highway, with two bullets in the middle of his forehead, with injuries all over him. Chaz had died from a gay bashing (which both Jamie and I suspect wasn't an accident but, a set up that Chaz's ex lover had been planning a week before his death. We have no evidence to prove this statement, just our thoughts.) Then, he was killed afterwards, just begin for what he was, AN OUT AND PROUD MEMBER OF THE GAY COMMUNITY.



Needless to say, he still visits his dead friend on a regular basis, usually once a week at the cemtary and always buys him a beer to lay on his headstone before he talks with him. Even though he's gone and six feet under, Jamie believes his friend has some unfinished business with everyone Chaz knew, including his ex lover, his parents, Jamie and myself. We both know that Chaz is watching over us from up above and smiling down at us. May you rest in peace Chaz, we love you man.



~Tory~

These users are from t.v shows and movies that I like.



1. Raven Roth. From teen titans.



2. John Coffee. From the Green Mile



3. Rogue. From the x-men movies.



And that's all the empath users that I look up to.



Raven's my favorite because, like her I'm still trying to learn how to deal with my abilities.

COMMENTS

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Oceanne
13:15 Aug 01 2013

I think maybe if you realise that every human is an empath, it would help you understand that empathy begins with mother child bonding, it is not supernatural in anyway shape or form.I feel that once people understand this, they can begin to see how it works (it is a mechanism of circadian rythym) and can then use it for our betterment .

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banesraver666
20:49 Aug 01 2013

Oh okay...

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1. American Head Charge



2. Mushroomhead



3. Static-X



4. Ministry



5. Dope



And that's it for right now.

1. I AM a caregiver. Taking care of special needs kids and little kids is not only my passion but, the one thing that's given me a reason to live again, and something that I will work my hardest for.



2. I AM a writer. This was my first passion before special needs kids came into my life. I may not write a whole lot on here story wise but, I will be putting personal entries on here. If I'm not taking care of special needs kids, I'm writing.



3. I AM a free spirit. Ever since I "died" all those years ago, I've been a free spirit.



4. I AM a person. Everyone's a person, they have their own feelings, their own thoughts, their own emotions, and their own spirit. I am no different from any of you.



5. I AM an animal lover. Sadly, I don't own any animal's but, I did volunteer at an animal shelter for three years until I was forced to quit. If I hadn't been forced to quit, I would still be there. I'm more of a cat lover then a dog lover. I'm scared (for some reason I'm still not sure why) of big dogs and horses. Other then that I love cats, my wish is to own a Sphinx.



6. I AM an honest person. I try my best to be this but, sometimes it's hard to (especially with my parents, there's some things I can never tell them)



7. I AM a sober person. I don't do drugs anymore, nor do I drink (it's a very rare sight to see if I do.) When I drink it's usually a strawberry wine cooler.



8. I AM a smoker. Yes, I know this is a terrible habit, and for you younger people on here, don't pick it, as you get older it'll be harder to quit (well for me it is, I quit a couple of years ago for nine months and it was the hardest thing to do.) My only regret is that I wished I never would've picked it up again.



9. I AM blessed. I'm blessed for everything that I have in my life, I may not have much but, it's enough for me.



10. I AM a musician/singer. I love music, I love to sing anything even though my parents think I'm a bad singer but, I don't care, this is my other passion in life. Although, I wouldn't sing live for a bunch of people (I believe I have stage fright). I enjoy singing to myself, regardless of what type of music it is.



11. I AM a music addict. I have nearly a hundred CDs (mostly it's metal) but, I love pretty much all kinds of music.



12. I AM a sweetheart (or so I've been told).



13. I AM creative. Since I am writer and I work with special needs kids, I have to be creative in different ways.



14. I AM independent.



15. I AM a very nice. To be honest this is how I really am unless, someone has really pissed me off then this is how I am.



16. I AM a Gothic/a dark person. I may not dress Gothic but I do dress dark almost everyday. Even if I don't dress dark I know that I am dark inside my soul.



17. I AM a kid at heart. I work with special needs kids so, in order for me to do my job right I have to be in the mindset of these kids. (Some times)



18. I AM a loner/outsider. I don't have very many "real" friends in fact, I only have five (both human and supernatural) I work at a high school and I eat lunch alone because, most of the the people in my school are stuck up bitches/snobs and I honestly don't think I can relate to them. Besides that, I don't gossip (unless it's to my best friend Airel) nor do I talk about people behind their backs.



19. I AM a firm believer in karma. What comes around, goes around. This is the main reason I don't even try to talk about people behind their backs because of karma. I wish more (mortals) would believe in this then, maybe we wouldn't have so many back stabbing people.



I'll edit this (once again) later. Still trying to figure out everything that I am. *sighs*

1. I am NOT a doormat! So don't treat me like I am one. I was treated like that for nearly a year and I promise you, I will tell you in "colorful" words that I am not one. You've been warned.



2. I am NOT a stuck-up snob! I'm actually a down to earth girl but, if I am please tell me either by messaging me or rating me. Trust me, I deal with snobs for ten months out of the year. I've come to seriously detest people like that.



3. I am NOT a bitch/whore/flirt! Although, I may across as a bitch, I promise you I'm a rather, sweet, caring, loving person. I am not a whore, I use to be in my younger days mostly because all I cared about was getting laid but, trust me I'm not like that anymore, I've mature since then and as of right now I'm more focused on begin in a committed relationship then getting laid. As for a flirt, like I stated in the lines above, I'm more focused on begin in a committed relationship then anything else.



4. I am NOT spoiled! By no means am I spoiled, money (for at least my mother) is tight right now. Like I said earlier, I am a down to earth kind of girl.



5. I am NOT conceited! I promise you, I'm not conceited, I may say "I" or "me" a lot but I'm by no means conceited.



6. I am NOT selfish! I work with special needs kids as my calling in life, there's no way in hell that I can be selfish with that as my future career.



7. I am NOT an angel! Just take one look at my journals and you'll find that I've had a seriously fucked up past (some of it was my doing some of it was others doings)



8. I am NOT a negative person! I try my hardest to be as positive as I possibly can. I've had so much negativity in my life that I've had to overcome by myself. So, I've (somehow) managed to turn all the negativity in my life into something positive.



9. I am NOT a retard! By no means am a mentally challenged person. Yes, at times I am slow but, sometimes it takes me a few minutes to get a grasp on things. All I can really thank for me begin semi slow is my brain injury that I suffered a few years ago no thanks to my grand mal seizure.



10. I am NOT a lair! I try my very best to be honest with everyone expect my parents, there's just some things I can't tell them, like me begin an energy vampire for one. That'll go over really well with both sets of my parents, it'll go over so well that'll have a lifetime membership to the nut house.



11. I am NOT a person to fuck with! Just trust me when I say this: I don't want to be your enemy but, if I feel like I'm begin treated like a piece of shit then, yes I'll have no other choice (other then to block you) to treat you the same way. Remember the motto they taught you early on "do unto others as you do yourself" (I know that's not right but, I know I'm at least half way right)



12. I am NOT a baby! Don't treat like me one, I'm very mature and very serious (at times).



13. I am NOT a bully! By no means am I a bully, I'm very caring, and I will stand up to bullies and for everything else I believe in especially if someone is picking on a special needs child/adult. That right there might get me sent to jail but, at least I stood for what was right. I also try to see the good in everyone, no matter their race, sexual preference, religion and/or their looks.



14. I am NOT a cheater! Personally I was cheated on several times and I myself have cheated to. I've learned my lesson since then and I've become (over the years) a person who wants to be in a committed relationship regardless rather it's with a mortal or a vampire.



15. I am NOT weak! Well, physical I'm sort of strong but, mentally I'm very strong. I guess reading all those books have helped me over the years.



And for right now that's all I have. :)



~Tory~

I had a discussion with my sire this week about why he doesn't use social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and/or Myspace and he said he doesn't really have any desire to have to get on one and make a profile.



Personally I believe he's a very private person who just doesn't want to be known to the world, and I guess I have to agree with him on that, I myself have both a Facebook and a Twitter account and I enjoy both sites but, regardless of what I feel about this, he has a Facebook page but, he never gets on it. I'm not to sure if it's because he works from 6am to 4pm four days a week and he's usually tired or if he's just lazy. Either way he's pretty firm about not having anything to do with any social networking site because he doesn't see in any use of it.



We've had several discussions about this when he comes over to my house during his lunch break and when he gets over to my house after work to discuss everything and anything about ourselves and how our day went. He also told me that some of the older vampires don't usually use computers because their either stuck in the past (I couldn't find a better word for this sorry if I offended anyone on here for saying that) or it's because they won't change their ways that their so hellbent on keeping everything the same.



I don't know if my sire's right about any of this (but he usually is right about things) but, I'm going to try to convince him once again to log into his Facebook account. There's a very slim chance that he'll say yes because I think/believe that he as well is hellbent on keeping everything the way it is. (At least in his mind and his life).



I know I'll ruin his cup of tea by asking him but, oh well I love to piss him off, it makes me laugh when he gets angry over stupid shit. Well as long as his anger isn't directed at me (which it very rarely is because we have a great relationship between us. I'm very blessed for this.) I believe this discussion won't go over well (it hasn't before) but, I'm sure if I keep pestering him about, he'll come around to it maybe.



I all ready hear him saying "don't piss off an older vampire, you'll only get shit on because of it" and/or "you piss off an older vampire or me especially if one's your best friend or your sire, they'll hold a grudge against you until you make your amends to them and even then, they might not want to be around you for a few days, depending on their temper." I'm sitting here laughing about this while I'm writing this. I only hope I can still laugh about this in a few hours. There's a big chance that I will.



Thankfully, my sire is laid back and very easy going about pretty much everything we talk about (like I said earlier, I'm very blessed to have him as sire) expect for a couple of things (my sexual abuse is one of them, and his family is the other).



I have no clue why I wrote this journal but, this is becoming very therapeutic for me, and I'm really starting to enjoy this even if nobody reads this and/or comments on it.



~Tory~

Hello my names Tory but I go by Kairi (it was one of my names in my past life's), I'm twenty years old and I live with my parents (who are full human), I have a handicap twin sister, who is mentally challenged and has serve cerebral palsy and is legally blind.



I have medical issues/disabilities. I have Epilepsy but, I don't have grand mal seizures, I have small seizures still to this day so, for my own sake (and for the idiots who think they can drive) I don't drive. I have cerebral palsy as well (I was born with it) I have learning disorder (math and science are my worst enemies) this came from me having a grand mal seizure when I was young (if I don't remember your name, please forgive me, it may a take a couple of tries to keep it stuck in my head) and I have vision problems as well (this to is from birth, I was born a premature baby who had really bad health problems). I also suffer from moderate depression. Other then my disorders, I am normal twenty year old gothic girl.



My career in life is to work with special needs kids, I am currently just volunteering at my local high school but, I will go to college very soon so, I can start becoming a special education aide (or paraprofessional if you want the proper name). I'm very good at my job, and I love my kids with all of my heart, if you fuck with any of my kids, I'll fuck you up and that's not a threat, that's a promise! The kids I work with vary in their disabilities, and I try my hardest at what I do with my kids. I try to not play favorites with any of them but, for me, it's hard to do that. But, I'm working on that. I work regular school hours, which are from 8:45am to 3:45pm, Monday through Friday (expect during the summer).



I'm a very loyal, loving, caring, laid-back person, who can be a people pleaser at times. Mostly because I've had a huge string of bad relationships with guys, who just used me for sex. There are times where I just want to be left alone by myself and my thoughts so, if at any point during my time on this site I wish to be left alone, respect my wishes please.



Several months ago, I lost a boyfriend (who died when his mother pulled the plug on his medical induce coma) he originally was in the Hospital because of his back and his leg then, his mother decided to have a surgery to help fix his brain anursem. Currently I am in a relationship with a man who I've talked to on and off for nearly six years through either my email or through text messaging. He is mine and I am his. He lives in Tacoma, Washington and works as a security guard. He may be my long distance boyfriend but, I care to much for him to lose him again. We have never met but, we've talked on Skype twice so, I know he's real and not some wiredo. He is in his early thirties but, regardless of what anyone thinks about this, he cares about me and I care deeply about him. Even if my deceased ex is on my mind, I know he is a better place now.



I can't stand self absorbed people, nor can I stand two faced, lying back stabbing people. I've been hurt from people in the past because of this. I have trust issues and I'm afaird to show my real self to people because of this. Other then that, I am a very serious person, who would do anything to/for the people close to my heart. Even if that means at the end of day, I wind up by myself. I wear my heart on my sleeve everyday. At times, I can be very emotional but, I rarely will show my emotions to anybody expect for one or two people. One of the two people happens to be my ex and my best friend, for the past three years he's been showing me and teaching me about the way of the vampires, he also happens to be my sire and even though we are no longer romantically involved with one another, we both deeply care and respect each other, we know each other like the front and back of a book.



I am also a animal lover, I don't mind (small or medium sized) dogs but, I'm scared of big dogs and horses. I am a cat lover, my wish is to own a Sphinx but, I don't mind other breeds of cats, I love them all. I believe I have some sort of connection with cats though, I'm not to sure if it's a spiritual one, a physical one or an emotional one regardless of that, cats (even though I don't have any since my parents don't allow pets because their usually gone whenever I'm over at my sperm donor for a father's house) are a big part of me and who I am.



I'm very mature and I'm a very serious person. I am book smart, and I love to curl up with a good book in my down time. I read mostly, horror, (Stephen King is my favorite author and I have three or four of his books) fiction, poetry (Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favorite poets), manga (mostly Naruto), books about supernatural people (I guess that's Science Fiction) romance, and I've recently gotten myself into 50 Shades of Grey (which I enjoy but, I'm waiting to read both the second and third book). I also like to read the comic section of the newspaper.



Spirituality is my religion I'm not a Wiccan or a Pagan though I wouldn't mind learning about both religions. I am a nature person, and I enjoy going outside several times a day. I love to be close to nature (though I wouldn't want to live in the country, I'm more of a city person). I love watching the sun set and begin outside at night.



I don't do drugs anymore. I use to smoke weed every once in a while but, for now I don't touch it at all and I refuse to be around people who smoke it. I very rarely drink as well. Both drugs and alcohol run in my family hence, my reasons for doing neither of those things. I am not a party person either. I'm an energy vampire and big crowds give me a slight buzz so, if I were to party, a small group of five or six people would do. The only thing I touch now is menthol cigarettes, they help with my emotions at times and I don't think I could part with them until I learn how to deal with my emotions. Which, could take several years.



For right now I am happy with who I am, and with the small group of positive people in my life. I may not have very many friends but, I know I can trust them with my life. Out of the small group of friends that I have, only three know what I really am and they've accepted me the way I am, and those three people are who I cherish the most in my heart. I am very blessed to have them, without them I wouldn't be here right now.



This journal is in no way finished and may be completed sometime in the near future. I hope over time you all may accept me, you may not like me but, that's fine, I'd rather be hated and loved then, not loved at all. Thank you for reading this. I just want you all to know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I will listen to whatever is in your life that is making you down.



Have a blessed day/night



~Tory~



Please note that this will possibly be edited in the near future, rather it's in a few hours or a few days.

(This time these are in complete order on how much I like them, some are here in Texas, other's are fast food places)



1. Casa Òle (it's a tex-mex restaurant)



2. Jack N' The Box



3. Mario's Flying Pizza (just as the name suggest, it's a pizza place but, I'm not to sure if this located around the world or if it's only in Texas)



4. Whataburger



5. Dairy Queen (if anyone who lives outside of Texas, has ever heard of this fast food place, I'd be very Impressed)



6. Sonic



7. The Border Grill (I'm not to sure if this only in Texas. It's another tex-mex restaurant)



8. Kelly's (another possible Texas only restaurant. If you ever heard of this one and you live outside of Texas, and you've heard of this, I'd be very impressed once again)



9. Chick Fill a



10. McDonald's (I detest this restaurant with a firey passion. I like their fries though and their southwest forbidden chicken sandwich)



That's it! :)

1. Halle Berry



2. Anna Paquin



3. Betty White



4.Sigoureny Weaver



5. Emma Watson



6. Lucy Lu



7. Uma Thurman



8. Kate Beckinsale



9. Rebecca Romjin-Stamos



10. Christina Ricci



11. Sofia Vassilievà



12. Alice Englert



13.Ashley Greene



14. Maggie Siff



15. Katey Sagal

1. Laim Nesson.

Why? Because he's yummy and he's talented.



2. Matthew Mcconaughey

Why? It seems as he gets older, he gets older and it seems like (most) movies he makes I really enjoy.



3. Jason Isaacs

Why? He's a wonderful actor, and I've seen some of his other stuff (I mean other then Harry Potter) and I liked it.



4. Alan Rickman

Why? Just like Jason Isaacs, he to is a wonderful actor and he seems like a nice person, plus he's talented as well, I wish he'd make more movies though. Plus he can dance very well for someone his age.



5. Keifer Sutherland

Why? I fell in love with him when I first saw him in the (original) Lost Boys, and he's made a new show called Touch (if you haven't seen it, I recommend you watch it, it's different from 24, trust me.) Besides that, he's good looking.



6. Kim Coates

Why? Because, I've seen him in several different things other then, Sons of Anarchy, he's made a couple of Lifetime movies, that I've enjoyed.



7. Tommy Flanagan

Why? He's Irish and I love Irish men plus I really enjoy watching him ride motorcycles on Sons of Anarchy.



8. Ron Pearlman

Why? He's a great actor, he's made a couple of movies that I like, and he voiced the Teen Titans villain Slade (I grew up watching that show, I still love it to this day)



9. Morgan Freeman

Why? There's a lot of different reasons for this, he's made quite a lot of movies (some I've seen, some I haven't seen but, I want to see and some I own)



10. Raùl Jùalia

Why? Even though he's no longer with us, I enjoyed him in all of the Addams Family movies and had he not died, I'm sure he would've made more movies.



11. Paul Newman

Why? Anyone whose a fan of him, knows he has some very sexy blue eyes, and I've only seen bits and pieces of Cool Hand Luke but had he not die before Cars 2, I'm sure he might've made a couple more movies before he passed away. Plus, he seemed very generous and would donate to several charities.



12. Johnny Depp

Why? He's another talented actor as well, I've seen several of his movies (though I only own a couple) I really liked him in Blow and What's Eating Gilbert Grape and in the Pirates of Caribbean.



13. Bill Nightly

Why? For some strange reason, I'm in love with his voice, and I wish he would make more movies (I have yet to see Jack the Giant Slayer, even though I have it)



14. David Carradine

Why? I've always loved him (even though all I have of him is both parts of the Kill Bill movies) I've seen other movies of him, and I liked them.



15. Jack Nicholson

Why? Not only is he talented but, I happen to own most of his movies, plus, he made a great physco in the Shining. He's funny as well, and I loved him in the Bucket List as well.



That's it.

I'm a picky eater by the way.



1. Cheese Pizza



2. Corn dogs



3. Begal Bites (cheese only)



4. Strawberry Ice Cream/Ice Cream Sandwiches



5. Anything (well almost) anything that has chicken in it.



6. Spaghetti (without meatballs)



7. French Fries



8. Tater Tots



9. Fast Food



10. Sweet and Sour Chicken



11. Chicken and Dumplings (homemade from stratch)



12. Mexican Food (mostly taquotios because I can eat it without wasting it)



And that's it until I can figure out what else I need to put on here. Yeah, I know most of the list isn't a meal but, oh well it's food and it's what I eat

I have seizures (or more commonly known as) Epliesy, I've had it since I was very young. When I was eleven or twelve years old, I had a grand mal seizure (for those of you who don't know what that is, allow me to explain it to you. I used Wikipedia for this information)



Grand Mal Seizure- Is a type of generalized seizure that effects the entire brain.



I had my seizures from sleep to wake or wake to sleep (which basically means when I went to sleep I could wake up and I could have a seizure and vice versa for wake to sleep). Anyways, I was taking a nap at my daycare (I was young and my mom was a single mom before her and her boyfriend met. So, she didn't have much of choice for me and my twin sister) and the next thing I know when I woke up was I was in a hospital. (I don't remember very much of what happened. This is due to my brain injury that I received from this grand mal seizure) My mother told that I died for seven hours. I was young at the time and I didn't realize what that meant (I mean the whole grand mail seizure thing)



After I "died" I changed a whole bunch and during that time I was on some sort of seizure medication for my epliesy and I suffered all of the side effects of the medication, I had anarexia and I was losing most of my hair and I was very moody and depressed all the time. (Well at least my time in Jr. High I was)



As I got older, I knew that something in me changed, I would have visions about things that would happen sooner or later (for an example) I remember having a vision about us running out of ketchup and the next morning I asked my mom if we had ketchup left, she checked the pantry and she didn't find any. I remember saying "mom I just had dejvu" then, walked out of the room and sat down and curled up with a book before I had to get ready for school that morning.



(To make a long story short) as I got older, I talked to a certain friend of mine on my stepmom's cell phone (I didn't have a cell phone until I was 17 or 18 at least) and he started getting me into a religion called vampirism (I was young at the time and I thought he was making this up but, now I realize this religion is true, no offenseto some of the older vampires on here. Super sorry if I offended y'all, I don't mean to, I was young like I stated earlier) we talked over the course of several months, I told him what happened to me (I'm talking about the grand mal seizure) and he told me about a ritual that he called "the awakening" (he lived in Florida at the time) and he asked me one day maybe I could go see him and have it done (I've never had an awakening done on me before) I of course said "no" because, I was a minor at the time and my parents (who are mortals) would freak out and yell at me. Needless to say, we've lost contact with each other, I haven't spoken to my friend in a few years.



Once again, to make a long story short, over the past three years, I've been seeing things that other "normal people" wouldn't understand. For example, I see demons, (or at least their aura's) and I feel people's emotions and I know (sometimes) I can sense things that other people can't. I've had several long discussion's with my ex (who happens to be a vampire as well) and we both had to do research on what I thought I was, I learned a couple of years ago that I was an energy vampire (which is also another reason why I don't like big crowds) and for these past couple of years I'm trying to learn who I am, and I've felt like I was alone.



At least now, I finally know what I am and who I am.



~Tory~



P.S please don't be offended by any of this, I'm not making this I promise.

COMMENTS

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WishBone
04:52 Jul 02 2013

you know medical marijuana can help with seizures, as long as it is high in cbd cannabinoides

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banesraver666
08:20 Jul 02 2013

I didn't know that but, I don't live in California dear. I live in Texas and my parents would flip their lids (yes I live with my parents due to my eplisey and I have cerebral palsy as well plus that brain injury has screwed me up.) Oh well, I'll just take everything one day at a time. :)

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