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The day i met Zachary alexander stubblbine was a day i can never forget.



That same day my sister Emily had explained to me all about a boy who lived a few doors down from her fathers house that liked her, no not like she claimed he was obsessed with her entirely. At the time she and i were very close so hearing this of course i wanted to meet him so later that afternoon after i had gotten home emily and i arranged a few days stay at her dads house for her and myself.

upon arriving she immediatly wanted to introduce me to zac, who coincidently i had met online earlier that same day. when we knocked on his door he answered and came outside with one of his freinds unga to see emily. Well after a few hours of sitting at the church near by we had decided to take a walk, upon going on that rock i realized how handsome he was. And so he and i started to get to know each other better, and by the time i left a couple night later i realized that i liked him.



after a couple of weeks of speaking online and over the telephone he started breaking down and telling me how much he really liked my sister, and while i was still figuring out how much i liked him i agreed to help win her over. One night after confessing to him that emily said she never wanted to talk to, or see him again he threatened to commit suicide, of course i called him up immediatly. He confessed that he thought because eimly could never love him, no one loved him and he had no reason to live. It was then i realized, while trying to convince him not to that i in fact loved him. And so i told him so, of course like any person he had questions; how could i love someone like him, with all his faults and dreams. My answer was simple; you do not need an explination for love, when you find someone you do love, you can feel it and i did.

some time had past and he and i agreed to forget the whole ordeal of him loving emily, but something stranger he and i started to get intimate over the phone and internet. because he lived so close and i knew him it wasnt that strange.

But then the day came of the carnival. My friend kaitlyn had asked me to go with her and our friend tiffany to the carnival near by. but what got me to go was the carnival was right down the street from zac's house and i knew he would never miss it. Lo and behold around 7:30 who comes walking up with a new girlfriend from twin valley, and a bunch of friends we shared mutually, but zac. Without even a hello great to see you he walks right by and enjoys himself. well seeing as i was right next to him he did not miss me. And then walked in my sister emily, with our friend and neighbor katrina, of course i was furious that he had not eeven looked at me let alone spoken to me and so the whole while i was angry.

that night i tried to kill myself because the guy i loved had someone, when he told me he liked me. Also because of fighting that went on between my freind kaitlyn and one of his gf's freinds. i ended up getting grounded for some.....indiscretions. a few weeks later when i finally got my privledges back i get an im from non other then zac, apologizing for that night. i did not want to talk to him and i told him so, but he in turn called me and refused to take that i did not want to speak with him.

we worked things out and again our normal went on espeacially when he invited me to a night with him and our freinds for his birthday. his girlfreind and he were still together, but her freind lived next to him, and when she saw me there, the only girl, she thought the worse and called her freind. well after people left he and i started to get intimate, but my mothers arrival for me ruined our chances.

The next night he told me that him and jackie (his hf then) had broken up because she thought that he never loved her, and they agreed hed be better off without her. and so a few weeks later i went back over.

in that one day he confessed his love for me and we spent all day together, in love, and intimate.

a few weeks later i brought my sister emily with me back to his house. by then zac and i were going out for a month and everything was great. but again good things dont last forever. our freind unga came, as did emily . zac and i kept to ourselves under a blanket while the two others watched a movie, but even with our intimacy emily ruined it. We went for a walk while zac ate and emily asked me how muched i loved him. i told her what i told him every night. that i loved him till death, and that i would die for him.

That next night he called,

"i need somespace i think we should go back to be being freinds right now " he said and i understanded, lately we were going fast.

but as semptember rolled around he imed me, still being the freinds he decided to be and said he loved me again and needed me back. When i agreed i called him right away and he was cruel

"i never said that, it had to be ross. didnt emily tell you, we're through and i love her again seeing her made me realize it."

"but you said you loved me zac, and you were so kind to me like you always used to be"

"that should have been your first clue that it wasnt me, i could never say i loved you again. so fuck you and good bye"

my heart had been torn out by a black dagger and torn to peices, i didnt cry until that night, with no sleep.

the next day was school and i cried all day, when people asked what was wrong i was crying too hard to tell them, and i couldnt bring myself to terms.

in the weeks that followed my emotions returned but i was colder and more empty. when m mother asked continuilly what happened i could not tell her and ended fighting with her and crying myself to sleep once more.





now it is more then fourth months later, and though i have tried to forget, some part of me still hurts, and still loves him.



for some reason emily decided that she did like, no love him. and so even though i still loved him, and still hurt she went out with him and has been doing so ever since.



as of late i had to block him because of him being cruel to me.



and as of late i am alone.



and that is how i died and became what i am.