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Yandere's Journal


Yandere's Journal

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10 entries this month
 

10:11 Sep 16 2024
Times Read: 19


Well... unfortunately due to the busiest weekend ever I didn't get much out of the Double XP weekend in Fallout. Because real life. It just HAD to be on a weekend where I wasn't sitting around doing nothing, I literally did not get to play all weekend until tonight, and only got up to 869. But I made a new buddy. He messaged me asking if I'd help him launch a nuke because apparently he'd gone through a silo in another server, and got disconnected just before launch so wanted someone to help him quickly get through. Boy, I just love playing the mercenary bodyguard xD I really don't mind, I could do a silo run in my sleep, could've just gone and done it myself, but he's only like level 100 so the XP is especially good for him. He wanted to do Wendigo Collosus so I aimed it there. Not a hard boss, probably the easiest of the four. Strangely, only two other people showed up to fight with us, usually you get several so four is... not ideal. I've done it with less, and honestly though the fewer people there are, the more intense the fight is because boss fights are timed, and if you don't kill them within the time limit, quest failed. This isn't a big deal for someone like me who has killed this thing 200 times, but for someone new, it's a bit harsh. And this fight came down to the fucking wire, to about... 50 seconds left wherein the Wendigo Collosus was desperately kicking me, and spitting on me, and I was just not backing off xD There's a point where you've wasted too much fucking ammo to let something live, and new people never know to bring enough ammo so when there are only a few of us, and everyone else's ammo runs out it's always eventually down to me because I carry at least 15,000 rounds ay all times like a crazy person. At the five minute mark it still had 1/4 health left, and I had absolutely no confidence in taking it down. But it happened. Much shrieking, and swearing later, it finally happened just in time. I would've personally felt responsible if we couldn't do it even though there was a level 879 there, him and two level 100s, still, it would've been really embarrassing for someone to ask me for help beating this thing, and then... not doing it xD The problem is that in the fight smaller wendigos are constantly spawning in, and attacking you so it takes your focus away from the boss who is already an extremely tanky motherfucker. I've seen people melt down his health in like a couple minutes... I dunno, I can only imagine it's a hacked weapon, but it also takes all the fun out of the fight when one person basically does it all instantly. Like, why even bother?
Speaking of ammo... One of the changes they've made recently, like I've mentioned, is they've lowered the drop rate from enemies by A LOT. And for the most part, it's not a big deal. Until I realized, oh, I'm burning through my ammo making supplies very quickly. To make .45s you need gunpowder which consists of acid/cloth. Cloth is easy to find, you actually can get it from books, and there's a town with a house full of books to scrap. The acid is a problem. Previously, you'd get quite the acid drop from events like Moonshine Jamboree, from the acidic Gulpers. Not anymore. Not nearly as much. Not enough. You can buy bulk acid, but I'm already buying out lead which is fairly expensive. I have a butterfly sanctuary at my camp that produces acid overtime, but not nearly enough. I just don't understand lowering the drop rates. Or if it's some kind of glitch maybe. It's making keeping my gun in ammo a miserable process, and I refuse to use another weapon. Seems like everytime they fix something in this game, something else gets worse💀

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06:04 Sep 08 2024
Times Read: 80


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Maybe I'm going crazy... but I don't remember these women being this HUGE.
I'm pretty sure last playthrough they were much closer to my size.
Right? They're definitely bigger💀
Dominula Village has always peaked my curiosity. In Latin domi translates to home, and nula translates to nothing/nonexistent. Nothing or no one at home? Which is interesting considering thos town is infamous for a certain festival where apparently the women skin all the men, and it's speculated that said skin is sewn together to create the Godskin garb. Nearby you'll actually find a fenced in area full of male nobles, cowering in fear as two Misbegotten look to be guarding over them. And even further you'll find a few more women near a bonfire body pile. All very ominous. For men anyway. The women are all laughing, dancing, having the time of their lives. Really makes you think🤔

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22:30 Sep 07 2024
Times Read: 107


It's a good day when I can out-shoot a level 2500 to the point of infuriating them enough to move away from me xD I'll never understand why people use explosive weapons. I can put 20 bullets in something before you can hit it with one fireball. Gtfo~
I wish that they would let you tame this cutie...
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I wanna name him Meatball~

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01:13 Sep 07 2024
Times Read: 126


I've decided. Radagon/Elden Beast is the hardest boss in the game for me personally. And I've decided this because... It always gives me fucking trouble. At NG++ I've pretty much sprinted through the game to get to my last trophy to get my platinum. The only trophy left is the basic bitch Elden Lord ending. I am going to go through the DLC completely again, but I figured I'd get this done first, and out of the way. And every other boss up to the final boss are one and dones. It's kinda shocking actually how quickly you can book it almost straight to the end, you really only need to fight a few bosses, the bulk of the game with all the exploration, and npc side quests are totally optional. When you're not bogged down with all the extra, you can expedite it pretty quickly especially when you knlw exactly where you're going. That being said you should absolutely do everything in game, it's a whole experience. But at ng++, and over level 250... It's not necessary to go into things you've already done multiple times. And no boss in game gives me as much trouble as Radagon/Elden Beast. Which at it's base isn't a super difficult boss. Radagon can be taken down pretty easily, he bleeds easily so he's not the problem. The problem is the Elden Beast, specifically the fact that it's a little bitch who won't hold still long enough for me to hit it. My least favorite type of boss is the type that teleports to the other fucking side of an arena, and blasts you with ranged attacks. It's so cheap. They try to make up for it by giving you use of Torrent during the fight, but still, it is the most annoying thing ever.
Interestingly, the far background of the Elden Beast arena is very similar to the aesthetic of the Gate of Divinity.
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I fucking love that picture~
But. Is this the home of the Greater Will? Or is it the Greater Will itself? It's interesting that there are NPCS who compare killing the Elden Beast to killing a god. But the Elden Beast is not a god. Radagon is not a god. Marika herself, while divine, is not a god, not really. All of these things, and these people, vassals and vessels of the real power, the Greater Will. But what exactly is the Greater Will? Is it a literal entity or is it simply a force of nature? That's a huge question for me personally. I think it's up to interpretation like most things in these games. The Greater Will is represented by Order. In opposition to it is the Frenzied Flame which is represented by chaos. The Two Fingers and Three Fingers together form one hand. They're meant to be together, you can't have one without the other. Is the Frenzied Flame a part of the Greater Will? Are they the same thing, two sides of the same coin?

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06:51 Sep 06 2024
Times Read: 168


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The perfect spot to start building a spooky camp. I've always liked the atmosphere, and aesthetic of this area anyway, it's very misty red, and constantly thunder storming so I just need to figure my build out.
I'm not sure how I feel about the updates to 76 so far. They fixed the inventory lag which I greatly appreciate, I can now easily access my inventory dyeing events without lagging or crashing. When it comes to the new legendary crafting system... I don't like it. Being able to pick and choose your legendaries, it's just another step in taking the game away from unique to generic. I understand that a game, especially an MMO, needs to evolve to a certain extent to survive longer. Bethesda is obsessed with making the game accessible to lower levels. I did notice though, and maybe it's just me, bur certain enemy types do seem tougher. Scorchbeasts in particular appear to be buffed. I noticed this when I got caught off-guard by a two star legendary Scorchbeast, and it's beam actually fucking killed me. That didn't used to happen. Used to chunk off about half my health, but it killed me outright. So I set off to fight a few more, and they're definitely tougher. Another thing I've noticed is enemies seem to be dropping substantially less scrap than they used to. Usually a good run of Eviction Notice will get me over 1000 lbs of guns alone. Not anymore. Maybe they fucksd with the drop rates to compensate for making the legendary crafting much easier. Apparently now you have to get the specific legendary particles to mod that legendary onto your weapon. I think you get these particles from scrapping legendary equipment, something we were previously unable to do, and then there's a small chance to get a particle. I think. I'm not entirely clear on how it works, and since I wouldn't change a thing about my gun... I haven't played with it much. So it's not an instantaneous thing, you do still have to get the particles, but still. I'm not a fan. You can still do it the old-fashioned way, try to get a lucky roll crafting weapons with random legendaries until you get what you want. So I guess I just don't see the point of the new system😐
It's Mutation Invasion this week so... ya know. People get so irate at me during Moonshine Jamboree xD Like, my results speak for themselves.
20240905-001522
You fucks can't even keep your stills good. And yet they still drift over into my area, and worry about mine, and get mad when I insta-kill everything that comes at it. THAT'S THE POINT TO KEEP IT SAFE. I'm completely over the whole holding back bullshit. There's one event in particular that perfectly incapsulates the selfishness of online gamers. There's an event that ends with a boss called the Nightstalker. It's a wendigo. It's an easy kill. But it never fails that EVERYONE wants to be THE ONE to kill it. Because before it even spawns in you've got people trying to gun it down as fast as possible before anyone else can get a single hit in. It's like 76 culture to be THE ONE to kill that thing. It's bad manners, in my opinion. Like why take that away from everyone else, especially lower levels. I can easily kill it in about two seconds, but I usually try not to. Unless I see someone higher going at it, then I kill it before them just because I can. One of my favorite pastimes in 76 is harassing people who are jerks, following them around in events, and killing everything they're trying to kill xD Don't be a jerk or Bunny'll get ya~

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09:32 Sep 04 2024
Times Read: 205


I never noticed this before...
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But Miquella DID want to bring Godwyn back. An obscure ritual in Castle Sol, something that can only happen during a perfect Solar eclipse, specifically it seems can bring a soul back to a body. How very pertinent to Godwyn's condition being a living body without a soul... Miquella promised these poor people that if they completed the ritual, and got Godwyn back, they'd be welcomed into his home in the Haligtree. But it doesn't work. The perfect eclipse never comes. They're left there to rot. Godwyn remains the soulless Prince of Death. Castle Sol is a very curious place. Like many places across the Land's Between there are people here, the Albinaurics , who are considered less than dirt, and are tortured/murdered/experimented on. Miquella invited the Albinaurics to join him in the Haligtree so it's interesting to see them being treated so poorly in a place apparently under his command. Not a good look for you, Kindly Miquella, like so many other things. I've made it back up to the DLC, and it's quite different playing through it a second time knowing what I know, that Miquella is, and always was a fuck-face evil bastard. It's agonizing listening to Hornsent say he believes Miquella is there to deliver his people, yeah, he's gonna deliver them straight into death for his own benefit, he's no better than his mother, do not trust him. At least Marika half-way had an excuse for the thousands of Hornsent she slaughtered, Miquella is just a gigantic baby tyrant who can't stand being told no. Why would Miquella bring Godwyn back though? I had said before that Miquella making Godwyn his consort would make more sense than Radahn. Maybe at one point that was the plan, but he simply can't bring Godwyn back. But why not? If he could bring Radahn back... Is it because Godwyn is technically still half alive? Maybe🤔
I got so wrapped up in this I forgot about Fallout xD That's the thing about FromSoftware games, you can play them ten times through, and learn something new every time.

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03:23 Sep 04 2024
Times Read: 222


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So here's another interesting thought about Miquella and Radahn... The Unalloyed Gold Needle. A creation by Miquella gifted unto his sister Malenia to keep the Scarlet Rot from eating her alive. But not only that, to hold back the God of Rot writhing inside of her. It was ripped out of her during her fight with Radahn, and that's when the Scarlet bloom... bloomed, fucking nuked Caelid. Did Malenia choose to do let this loose or did it simply explode from within her against her will after being forcibly held back for so long? It's hard to say. My question is... if Miquella and Radahn were so tight, why didn't Radahn go to him when he was infected with the scarlet rot? Get a needle, keep it at bay as long as you don't take it out. Obviously it's because Miquella sent Malenia there to kill Radahn. It's the only thing that makes sense. I think when they were younger Radahn had a promise with Miquella, maybe he took it serious but maybe not, and eventually decided he no longer wanted to honor it. It could be that Miquella had him charmed, and ir eventually wore off or maybe Radahn eventually saw Miquella for the evil asshole he truly was. For whatever reason, he turns his back on Miquella so Miquella sends Malenia there to kill him, knowing he can bring him back eventually, knowing he'll be easier to control if raised from the dead. I think this is why Radahn has nothing to say when you fight him at the Gate of Divinity. If I had been raised from the dead by essentially basically my murderer's brother, I'd have some things to say about that especially if that douchebag latched onto my back like a spider monkey. But he immediately goes straight into attacking, no words, like he's being controlled, he's just a puppet. We've seen elsewhere in game where people's souls are placed into puppets or where souls are taken out, and merely the body is used. It could be that Radahn isn't even actually in there, not all of him.

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23:17 Sep 03 2024
Times Read: 257


Waiting for the 76 update to download...
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Looking at the season 18 schedule...
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I read Fallout Day as Fasnacht Day, and was about to quit the game xD It's bad enough they've bumped that bullshit up to twice a year, we don't need three. Although it looks like they're bumping most major yearly events up to twice a year having just done the second round of Mothman Equinox, and seeing another of Invaders From Beyond. Because why come up with new events when you can simply run the old ones into the ground... Classic Bethesda. I am interested in seeing what the spooky Scorched bring this year. See, the spooky camp competition is kinda bogus for people who aren't long-time players because they obviously don't have access to all the Halloween decorations you get from spooky Scorched. They do generally add a few new things every year, but for the most part you get stuff from the spooky Scorched event which they don't even run til the end of October. We're coming up on a double XP weekend, and... yeah, I kinda don't think I'm gonna hit 1000 by end of December xD I'll definitely be in the 900s by end of September, I think. I'm at 853 right now, getting 2 levels a day over the next few weeks should be easy, and a double XP weekend should be an easy 15 or more within 3-4 days depending on how much time I have to play. I am going to be busy that weekend, but... We'll just have to see~
I've been listening to the radio programs of the older games. I think Black Mountain ftom New Vegas is probably my favorite.

Probably partially because Rhonda reminds me of the Joker xD
New Vegas and 3 both have good radio hosts. I dunno, Appalachian Radio just doesn't have the same vibe, Julie kinda sucks as a radio host. Like, I get that she's not a radio host, she's just some random chick who decided to get on the radio, but... It's the same with Diamond City Radio, it's not very entertaining to listen to. New Vegas as a whole is just best Fallout which is interesting since it wasn't developed by Bethesda... I do also love 3, 4, and obviously 76, but there's something about New Vegas that stands put above the rest. It's a shame there aren't any Nightkin in Appalachia. That's why getting to play as a Super Mutant would be so compelling because there are different types. You could technically do the same for ghouls, like what if you could become a Glowing One? We've seen, rarely, non-feral, intelligent Glowing Ones do exist, it is possible. It would just open up a whole world of character differences and uniqueness if we did have different "races" like a more fantasy style RPG. I think I read that Bethesda didn't want to go there with Fallout, but... why not?

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01:22 Sep 03 2024
Times Read: 279


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There are very, very few games I'm willing to pay $70 outright for, and the remake of Silent Hill 2 just isn't one of them.
Because... The original Silent Hill 2 is the greatest most perfect scary game of all time. Bad graphics, controls, and voice-acting, it's still the greatest scary game of all time. Nothing has ever scared me like that fucking game, and it definitely won't be the remake. Sure, I'll play it eventually, but if you pay $70 to witness a story you've already seen and know and experienced... You're dumb. Like the Lollipop Chainsaw remaster/remake is only $40 right now on pre-sale, I think that's a much more appropriate price for a remaster/remake. But. Silent Hill is very popular now, especially with the million idiot "scary game streamers" out there. I just can't watch grown men scream like bitches over jumpscares, it actually physically disgusts me. The only developer who gets $70 from me, no questions asked, is FromSoftware. Otherwise... ehhh, it can wait. Like I STILL haven't played Baldur's Gate 3 xD I always say I'm going to play it, I know I'll enjoy it, but then I'm like, yeahhh, but you're still trying to platinum Elden Ring, and then there's Fallout, there's just no time xD Fallout takes up way too much of my gaming time, but they just keep coming out with more, and more new content. Eventually 76 will die, maybe several years from now, but no online game lasts forever. Fallout is in it's prime right now so I'm enjoying being there, experiencing it with other people who love it as much as I do.

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08:10 Sep 02 2024
Times Read: 437


I had a pretty hilarious encounter in 76 today. I showed up at Moonshine Jamboree, got in my usual spot, and started doing my thing. Until some fuckboy decides to jump up in front of me. And he's facing me so I know he's deliberately trying to say to me, "Hey, I'm blocking you." Sigh... So I move closer to the spawn point. It never works out for people who try to block me at my original spot, it just makes it worse for you because you're forcing me to move closer therefore I'll be killing things even faster. And again, Moonshine Jamboree has THREE moonshine stills to protect, there are other places to get your kills. After I move, I make sure I'm on the very edge of the rock I'm standing on so dude can't get up in front of me again, and he does try, he tries jumping up front of me several times all to the reaction of me throwing him some laughing and heart emotes. So he gets on his mic, "Leave some kills for the rest of us you son of a bitch." First off... I ain't a son of anything. Also, very importantly, from the moment the event started some motherfucker was launching mini nukes EVERYWHERE, at EVERY still, taking kills from EVERYONE, me included. Why aren't you getting in his fucking face? Why are you up my ass, on my one still, when there's a douchebag actively trying to ruin the event for everyone? There were over ten people there, you don't need mininukes, that's a douchebag being a douchebag just to be a douchebag. But sure, come at me. And this is the mentality that being nice to lower levels has created. They carry this expectation that no matter what level you are, if they're lower then you should hold back. This guy was in the fucking 200s, and he's whining, wanting me to let him have kills. Nah. At level 20, sure. At 200+, earn it yourself you whiny little bitch. People have this perception that your character gets more, and more powerful as you level, but you don't. There's no level cap, but there is a cap to the benefits you get from leveling, past 200-300 it's literally just a number. So I have the same power level as a 200. At that point it comes down to skill and build, and most people don't understand how to properly build their character. Sorry you suck, that means I should hold back? Nah. And it's pathetic for a grown man, or what sounded like a grown man, to even ask, and to pull baby shit like trying to body-block me. Sorry you brought a chainsaw to a gun fight xD This is why... Bethesda needs melee only servers. I understand wanting to use melee, it's fun, absolutely useless during events, things get killed by bullets much faster than you can get to it with a melee weapon. That's just the painful reality of bringing a melee weapon to an event with 10 people who are all using guns, it doesn't work. And throwing a tantrum when people won't simply allow you kills, it's like a kid getting mad you won't let them win. Grown-ass people acting like this. And people say, "Well they're gamers, what do you expect?" I don't act like that. If someone is annoying me in a server, I hop to another one, easy. I would never lower myself to asking anyone to let me get my kills. Fucking weak~

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