Yandere's Vampire Journal

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Yandere's Journal

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21 entries this month

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05:19 Mar 30 2024
Times Read: 215

I've gone to the dark side in Fallout... I'm an inch away from full blown chaotic evil xD I just can't with events anymore, I've been pushed over the edge, I'm done trying to make it fun for everyone, fuck all of you, I officially only care if it's fun for me. And fun for me apparently... is when you piss me off, standing back, watching you fail, and laughing/hearting at you, that's a lot of fun. Especially when I'm fucking doing something, and you feel the need to butt in to do it instead, ya know what, you can do it all then, have fun, I'll be in the corner laughing as your robots explode, and everything in your pathetic life catches on fire~♡
I hate being that person, but if you're the kinda douchebag who get WAY over competitive, ok cool, I'm just either going to make it impossible for you to get any kills or stand back, do nothing, and watch you fail if not actively attempting to make you fail. That is what this community has done to me. Because it's like... I don't understand who you're trying to impress. I get it, you think you're hot shit at level 500. You're really, really not. This is why I wish Fallout had a hard-core mode/server to really distinguish who is actually skilled vs the idiots. One life server, you die that's it, no pacifist mode, no pussies, let's see how high a level most of these worthless hacks would get there. Personally I'd love it. But Bethesda seems only keen on making the game newbie friendly, they don't care about their long-term players. Currently, events are busted to Hell anyway. I've been in several different ones since Tuesday that just didn't spawn enemies. So you're left standing there, gun throbbing in hand, looking at everyone else, thoroughly unsatisfied. At that point, I leave, I'm not gonna stand there for several minutes while the timer runs out, there's absolutely nothing in any event I need anymore, it's just for fun. It's sad though that a game this big has been having this huge of a problem for days now, and... they haven't fixed it yet. That's just kinda how Bethesda rolls, they don't put out patches, they don't fix shit until they put out a big update. You learn to live with it or stop playing. I almost stopped yesterday because... imagine my shock when I get on, and am immediately thrust into Fasnacht Day. Which isn't supposed to be back til June you assholes. It really isn't supposed to be back then either, but once again, Bethesda is on it's knees, eager to please the morons that inhabit their games. But if it becomes a monthly thing... I could see running it one day a month maybe instead of the two weeks straight in February, I'd be willing to compromise that, I would even possibly enjoy it then. It's not becoming a monthly thing, as far as I'm aware, this is just a special weekend where they're doing a different random seasonal event every day. Yesterday was Fasnacht Day, today was Spooky Scorched. I've been playing around on Bloodborne usually before I get on Fallout. I get angry at Bloodborne, I go play Fallout. I get angry at Fallout, I go play Bloodborne xD

COMMENTS

08:32 Mar 29 2024
Times Read: 268

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When you look like this, and wonder why girls won't talk to you... This npc is like the personification of every random guy who hits on me, grabby hands/dead-eyed stare and all I fucking swear xD
The funny thing about this npc is he seems extremely sinister, but he actually genuinely wants to help people. Meanwhile, the cute blonde doctor is the one turning people into aliens so~

COMMENTS

23:26 Mar 28 2024
Times Read: 289

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🖤

COMMENTS

21:15 Mar 28 2024
Times Read: 320

A thought occurred to me very briefly... about whether the Nox/Numen of Elden Ring could possibly be related to Pthumerians of Bloodborne...
Ahh, my brain🤯

COMMENTS

08:09 Mar 27 2024
Times Read: 373

For whatever reason the power for the entire street has gone down... at 2am. Of course I have many candles, but not a single lighter out of about 20 lighters that J could get to work. You'd think someone constantly threatening to light people on fire would have a single working lighter... Eventually I found the smallest flashlight, and to my surprise it actually works. So I have my cat and a flashlight, that's good enough for me xD Although... my cat keeps raising his head like he's hearing something shuffling around. I think he's confused why we're in bed without YouTube blaring in the background xD Or why we're in bed before 5/6am. I was playing Fallout. And I fucking totally lost my shit immediately before the power went out so it's probably best that it did... I was in an event, I was standing back so I wasn't hoarding all the kills, and suddenly this group of 4 or 5 people ran in front of me straight into the choke point, completely blocking me like I'm not fucking standing there trying to give everyone a chance to get shots in despite the fact that I could camp the spawn, and none of you fuckers could even shoot before everything was dead. Because I hate when people spawn camp, it takes away the fun of events for someone to just sit on the spawn, and immeduately shoot anything that pops out. It's bad manners. Unfortunately in events most people are strictly our for themselves, which is something I tend to forget. I just hate being that high level op asshole killing everything instantly. But other people force you to be that with their own competitiveness. Like level 200-400s are the fucking worst, probably because around that level area you really start to come into your own as your character. But ya know... sit the fuck back down, princess, you ain't got anything special.
I'm pretty mixed about the new season updates.
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I fucking hate this. The took the scoreboard away, and now it's just "Seasons." Personally, I really liked that the previous board was an actual boardgame theme, now it's just generic as fuck. I do kinda like that you get to pick which rewards you want because 20 different power armor paints mean literally nothing to me so it's nice to be to decide which rewards you want when, when you get high enough rank. I mean, it's fine. It's just really basic now, and it's crazy that they'd drop this huge of a change on a season 16 game with a pretty hard-core fanbase. But hey, maybe everyone else loves it. I haven't really seen any other changes with the new season. They keep trying to shove expeditions down our throats, I don't think anyone really enjoys the expeditions. I forget they even exist about 99% of the time. I think the best thing they could do is improve current events, add new ones, and expand the world, make it bigger. Do more for your current diehard players, stop catering to newbies. Like I get it, when you first start out, it's difficult. You have a shitty gun, you have no equipment, you can barely sprint or jump, you have nothing, and you're surrounded by these gods, these super-powered players who one-shot kill everything. It sucks being level 1. It sucks being level 20. It fucking sucks being level 100. But eventually... it clicks, and you get it, and it's fantastic. You can't go into 76 expecting it to be like any other Fallout because it's, it's own unique thing. A little less unique now... I moved my camp back over close to the starting area again. Sly unintentionally fucked up my floating base so I decided to just pick up, and move back to where I could help the most people. Plus it cracks me up when I teleport to my camp, and walk up behind some level 20, and they turn around, look at me, and run away xD Like I'm gonna fucking murder them or something just for being there. No, come back, I have tea and s'mores xD

COMMENTS

04:11 Mar 26 2024
Times Read: 414

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Alfred is best NPC exclusively for his use of the word "oodles."
~♡

COMMENTS

21:29 Mar 25 2024
Times Read: 447

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The two big changes to the Fallout 76 Scoreboards: They're apparently becoming longer, and you will no longer receive a miniature version of them on completion of a season.
Honestly, I wouldn't mind them taking longer to complete especially if it means more rewards are added. Technically, yes, when you complete a scoreboard it goes into this infinite cycle of rewarding you with lunchboxes, scrip, repair kits, etc. But it's nice having actual proper rewards on the board to work towards, it personally is one thing that keeps me playing.
It's the other change that's kinda stupid, in my opinion, taking away the actual display model because it's kind of a flex having all your seasons hanging up somewhere in your camp. Supposedly, Bethesda is making these changes to be more "new player friendly." I'm not sure what the boards have to do with this other than maybe a new player seeing them, and being bummed that they've missed out on so much because you hear it all the fucking time, "Is it too late to get into Fallout 76?" In my experience, 76 is in it's heyday right now, this is the perfect time to get in because they're still regularly releasing new content for it, and it has a pretty massive player base. I remember being a new player, walking into highly leveled camps, and I didn't feel discouraged that I didn't have access to everything this level 1000 did. I felt motivated to become that person, to put in the time in the game to be that. And now I am. I mean, I'm not level 1000, but I'm well on my way. I don't want a game to hold my hand, and baby me, and tell me I don't have to work for it. A long-time player SHOULD have things a new player doesn't, why should you just starting out be entitled to anything? It rubs me wrong. Don't make it easier on new players, make it harder. Make it harder on everyone, let's Dark Souls this bitch xD I would love an insanely difficult open-world multi-player game because that would really distinguish skilled vs not skilled. Much as I love Fallout, it doesn't take much skill to point and shoot. I often find myself throwing myself into dangerous positions for difficulty sake. Like yesterday, I was in a fight against a Legendary Grafton Monster with three other people, a level 200 and two level 50s. A lot of people don't realize that this particular variant can one-hit kill you very easily, even me. So I'm shooting it from a small distance, and I watch this level 200 run up on it, and immediately get smacked down, needing to be stimmed. The two level 50s immediately run over to help her which means they're going to inevitably get crushed too. So I jump down, right in this things face, well... face hole, it doesn't actually have a face or a head even, trying to distract it and lure it away from them while they get the 200 back up. I knew if it hit me, even once, I'd be put down too. But that's the fun of it. And ya know, I feel a need to protect the lower levels especially when I'm the highest level there.
Although...
Some level 39 idiot also tried to troll me hard last night. I did play Bloodborne for a couple hours then switched to Fallout when it got later. We were in Radiation Rumble, and there were several people there. I was off by myself at the opening of two of the tunnels, shooting whatever came out, minding my own business when some jackass walks over. And if you wanna help me guard the tunnels, cool, just don't stand in front of me. So they walk over, and stand in front of me. All that room, and they decide that where I'm standing is the optimal position they they'll just get in front of me. So I step out, and move in front of them. At this point, this complete dumbass thinks they're going to completely cut off the enemy supply by heading down into the tunnel where they're spawning. A few seconds later they come running back up, severely irradiated xD Yeah... those tunnels are a radiation dead zone, going down there without proper protection is fucking stupid, and at level 39... you probably don't have it. Their next plan is to, once again, get in front of me, but this time they're hopping around in front of me, deliberately trying to fuck with my aim. It doesn't work, I just sidestep away from them, and throw some laughing emotes their way because for fuck's sake, you're spending entirely too much time trying to ruin the game for me, you're not even playing it, and you're making yourself look like an idiot in front of everyone in the vicinity. Good on you. Finally, after vigorously laughing at them, they fuck off for the rest of the event, but after it's over, and I'm heading up the ramp to leave they come running at me with boxing gloves equipped, swinging away me. Unfortunately for them, I tend to keep pacifist mode on. I do this because if I don't I tend to accidentally shoot people, and then they think I'm trying to kill them so they shoot back, and then I'm forced to kill them. I don't like pvping people, especially when it just looks like you're picking on someone way under level. Which is why I stood there, and laughed while they vigorously swung on me, doing absolutely no damage. And because it's just not worth the effort of opening my settings, and toggling pacifist off just to kill a 39. Nah. I'm literally 600 levels higher than you, I could probably kill you with one shot, there's no accomplishment in that. You probably think you're something at 39. I didn't think I was something until about level 250-300. Kids these days. Newbies. And you wanna make it easier on them? Bullshit.

COMMENTS

00:41 Mar 25 2024
Times Read: 494

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It feels good to be home~♡
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COMMENTS

02:40 Mar 24 2024
Times Read: 516

Polish-20240323-213839383

Quella, Miquella, Saint Trina, sleep, dreams...
It's all coming together.
It's interesting because you really don't know much about the proper gods in Dark Souls. There are Lord and God's, two very different things. In Elden Ring you've got Marika, basically a God, and her children, demigods. But then there are greater powers than her, the Greater Will, the God of Rot, the Formless Mother, the Frenzied Flame... It really makes you question what constitutes an actual God in these worlds, and what's simply an overpowered being.
I would love to see confirmation that Dark Souls is directly connected to Elden Ring. But I also wouldn't because it's a lot of fun to speculate.

COMMENTS

05:04 Mar 23 2024
Times Read: 552

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I'm totally down for this, I will be out there on the 24th~♡
I've been wanting to completely play through Bloodborne again anyway, I know for like the 15th time, but it's so good, and somehow it never feels repetitive. I never actually have co-oped in any Souls game though so, since I know the game so well, I'm actually going to do it. Sure, it'll probably mostly be veteran players anyway, but still. The only problem with completely starting over is I won't get to do my scythe run since you have to beat a major final boss to get access to it... But I can rock that threaded cane. Or maybe I'll try something completely new.
And two days after that the next season of Fallout comes out which I'm super excited about. It was about this time last year that I took a break from Fallout because people there were really, really making the game miserable. I think that's just kinda the vibe when one season is ending, most dedicated players are playing something else so it's a lot of asshole left running around. A lot of newbies who don't understand the etiquette, a lot of overpowered bitches who think a plasma gun means they rule the world. A year ago I didn't understand server hopping. Now I know, if people are annoying in one server just exit, you'll reload into a brand new one with hopefully more palatable companions.
Cheshire asked if I wanted to play Minecraft with him today. We're kinda limited to that until he gets a Playstation. It feels kinda silly, being and adult playing Minecraft with another adult xD Like I play with my nieces and nephews all the time. He had to cancel though to do some piercings at a shop he used to work at, now just works via appointment. I've been telling him forever I've got some places he could pierce on me... Which makes it sound sexual, no, I just genuinely want certain things pierced, and I trust him, he's a professional, and knowing him he wouldn't make a move on me anyway. I asked him to get any of his tattoo artist buddies if they could design my mini chainsaw. I like to draw, sure, but I'm not tattoo artist good, ya know? So I told him vaguely what I want. The problem is that I don't know exactly what I want, I just want it to be super cute and pink but with a dark edge. Because that's me. So we'll see if he even remembers xD I would pay for the design obviously. He actually draws a bit himself, but his are more like portraits, I guess? Like he's drawn me before, and I actually sent him a ton of pictures not too long ago because he wanted to draw me again, but I haven't seen a new drawing. Just an excuse to get a ton of pictures of me xD We'll see if he ends up gaming with me tomorrow. It's funny how he asks me... then cancels. But that's just Cheshire, he's busy. He's busy though... because he works a lot, and he's always helping his family and friends. He's a good guy. He's another guy who's a good guy, but doesn't see that he's a good guy. He said another thing to me last night that was straight from Wolfie, "I feel like I won't be able to make you happy, that being around a miserable person will make you miserable." And again, I had to bring up Wolfie to him. Are you not aware of my last relationship? Wolfie was an amazing, warm, kind person, but he was also a black pit of self-loathing, self-disgust, self-hayred, and absolute negativity. And despite all that... he made me the happiest I've ever been. He never saw that. He never understood it. Everyone else on the world saw how happy he made me. He never saw it. And it makes me feel like you're calling my strength of character into question when you think I'm that weak. I am very fucking strong. You have no idea what I've lost. How badly for the last year I've wanted to just crawl into the dark and never move again. That would be easy. That would be weak. I'm not weak. Anything you got, I can handle. But. That's just part of having significant trauma, feeling like you're a burden and a negative impact on anything that gets close to you. I get it. I don't blame him for the irrational feelings his has. I just try to get him to think things through logically. A major difference between Wolfie and Cheshire is that Wolfie had these explosive, major moodswings where he'd go from happy to crying to violent within the scope of like 15 minutes. And I've seen Cheshire get mildly upset, but I've never seen him be explosive, he's never attacked me. Wolfie... it wasn't a physical attack, he'd never lay a hand on me like that, never did, never would. But emotionally... he'd try to hurt you if he was hurting. Something you can easily do if someone loves you. And obviously this is something his mother did to him so I can see why he was so worried about becoming her. I wouldn't say it was abusive, I wouldn't say it was intentional, it's a trauma response. It's one of the reasons he has so much self-loathing, and believes he can't make anyone around him happy because he goes into these uncontrollable emotional breakdowns where if you're close to him, he'll hurt you. And the only one he let close to him, was me. And I hate to think that's why he left. But I also get it. I know Wolfie never wanted to hurt me. He probably doesn't know that. He probably thinks I hate him. But I know. I know this wasn't what he wanted. It definitely wasn't what I wanted. But until he fixes it, it is what it is. I wish I could fix it for him. I just can't.

COMMENTS

05:16 Mar 22 2024
Times Read: 582

There are definitely some what the fuck moments in the Dragon's Dogma 2 character creator...
Most importantly being that neither Bunny or Kitten are an available Moniker.
Polish-20240321-233144405

Burrell?
Who the fuck is Burrel xD
Ok, whatever, we'll just choose Valkyrie.
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Bunny Valkyrie, it suits me❤️
Although that armor gotta go... That's the baseline Thief armor. Interestingly, there are four starter classes in 2 as opposed to the 3 in the original Dragon's Dogma.
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In the original, daggers and bows were put together in one single class, the Strider. Looks like they separated it into two. And I'm torn honestly... Because I'm usually a bow girl in RPGs. I don't use a bow much in the Souls games, that's true, because they're just not powerful on their own, but in other games, especially D&D themed, I prefer the bow. However. If this one is like the original in the regard that you get to climb up massive enemies, and stab them in the face, you can't exactly do that with a bow. So I kinda liked that they were combined in the first game. I think I gotta go Thief though.
Trying to make myself, but I just can't seem to get her as kawaii as I am.
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They need a kawaii meter. And the pigtails are a mess...
So then comes my Pawn. And... like I posted before, when I played the first one I made Wolfie my Pawn. So...
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In Wolfie's absence, Raistlin will have to take his place💔
Cheshire opened a can of worms that should've been left buried...
Of course with Raistlin you need a look of utter disgust, annoyance, and complete disdain. Which in a way is like having Wolfie there so... I think I nailed it xD Then there's pre-Test Raistlin with brown hair and blue eyes, and post-Test with the white hair and golden eyes. I think post-Test is more iconic. They don't really have a proper golden skin tone unfortunately. I heard that this was the most detailed character creator ever. I disagree. It's missing a lot. But it'll do.
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But since Raistlin's childhood nickname was Sly One, his moniker will be Sly, and has nothing whatsoever to do with my Fallout buddy xD Though he would probably take it that way. I was actually looking for Hades. I guess I could make Hades... but then it's basically just making Wolfie, and we're not going to go there, moving on.
I fucking hate these mage roges though... He looks like a Cleric. You know my feelings on clerics. I agree with Patches, push them all into the pit. And my feelings aren't based at all around the fact that Raistlin had a cleric "love interest." Hey, you can be a yandere over book characters, that's not crazy💀
It kinda blows my mind though that they were saying they couldn't release the game years ago because technology couldn't handle, specifically, the weird-ass lion race people they added into it. I dunno, reminds me of furries, and... look, if you're a furry, you're probably harmless, you're probably just a person who enjoys the goofy-ass costumes, and asking you why you enjoy it is like asking me why I enjoy being a sub, ya know. Some things you just like as strange or goofy as they are. Unfortunately, the furry community seems to run rampant with pedophiles, and zoophiles, either of which is... don't get me started on the sick fucks who think animals can consent. Hey, bud... when you gotta tie something down or kill it to keep it from running away from your diseased dick, THAT'S NOT CONSENT. I'm not saying all furries are like this, again, most are probably harmless. It's like with anything, furries, bdsm, vampirism, the few dumbfucks ruin it for everyone else by publicly being the absolute worst, and advertising their worst to everybody. I think the furry thing also bothers me so much because people call me a furry... I like my cat ears, and my tail, but that's the hard-line on a costume for me, you would not catch my beautiful face dead in one of those big dead-eyed googly heads. No offense, if that's your thing, you do you, absolutely not for me.

COMMENTS

07:06 Mar 20 2024
Times Read: 622

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One of my favorite pictures, me and Sly. And that giant cloud in the background? Thay was a nuke... he accidentally launched in the middle of nowhere. So while we were in the area for another event he was telling me to just look away from it xD So Naturally, I had to get a picture. The cool thing is that the pictures you take in world end up being your loading screens. So Sly is immortalized in my game.
I took a couple days off Fallout to play Surviving Mars and Surviving the Aftermath. They're basically disaster colony builders/management. They're not bad, but you do kinda reach a point in both games where you have endless resources so why keep playing? So they're fun short games. I've been trying forever to get Cheshire to buy a Playstation. I actually told him I'd even give him my PS4 since I haven't touched it since September. It's still perfectly usable, I just wanted the upgrade. He said he was going to look into PS5s this week so we'll see. It's just tragic that we're both big into gaming, but don't play together because he has an Xbox. But Xbox doesn't have me so that's a pretty strong argument xD He said he was trying to decide between Playstation and Switch... And I mean, I love my Switch, but I mainly use it to play with my nieces and nephews, it's more of a co-op system, and most the games are marketed for kids. Now Cheshire does love Zelda, so much that he has a tramp stamp Zelda tattoo... much to his shame xD And sure, there are lots of games we could play on Switch together. But I think Playstation has better games we could play together. We both love D&D so Baldur's Gate would be perfect. And I could get him on Neverwinter Nights, which is a bit dated, but still a game I love. And of course I'd get him on Fallout, and into FromSoftware games. And who knows, he loves Star Wars so maybe eventually there will be a big multi-player Star Wars game out at some point. I love gaming. That's obvious. Gaming is very important to me. If you wanna spend a lot of time with me... gaming is a good way to go~♡

COMMENTS

21:06 Mar 15 2024
Times Read: 672

Season 16 of Fallout 76 has officially been announced as Duel With The Devil.
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And it looks pretty awesome. Might possibly be getting some Jersey Devil content. Fallout 76 is big on the whole cryptid thing, we already have Mothman, Sheepsquatch, the Blue Devil, the Flatwoods Monster, the Wendigo, etc, but we've yet to see the Jersey Devil despite having a Pokémonesque card of him available in game. There are also creatures that were added in last season called Lesser Devils so we may see a fully formed version released next season. I'm 100% ready for season 16 which comes out March 26. I know I was talking about getting Dragon's Dogma when it releases on the 22... but since this is also coming out almost immediately after, maybe I'll wait. I know, that's what I've been saying about Baulder's Gate since it came out xD I will get to it. Eventually. We'll see if I play Dragon's Dogma 2 on release or not. I wasn't thrilled with the last season of 76, but it was mostly casino themed, and that's not really my thing. I think the Atlantic City let a lot of people down with it being an expedition instead of something added directly to the main map. There is supposed to be a map addition some point this year.
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Also unfortunately they're adding a Fasnacht event to June... I dunno, if they make Fasnacht Day a semi-annual thing I might actually stop playing. Because it's just so stupid. It's an awful, overly easy event that people make even easier by camping it. Make it harder, make it so people can't camp it, fucking improve it. Plus the fact that because people log on, and sit there in Helvetica until it comes up, other events end up being completely empty. I did Moonshine Jamboree completely alone several times which is usually a pretty popular event, but no one else shows up when you've got the two week Fasnacht Day bullshit going on. It's just a bad, poorly executed event that could be improved a lot. I know that I don't have to participate in it, but I do genuinely like collecting the reward masks so it'd be nice if it were at least a little enjoyable.
Everything else looks pretty great though. And to be fair, I'm going to be busy with the Elden Ring DLC come the end of June so I'll probably never even get onto Fallout within those two weeks. In fact, I'll be on vacation thr 21st to the 27th, and you know I'm jumping into Elden Ring as soon as I get back so I won't even have to deal with all the Fasnacht clowns💀

COMMENTS

02:46 Mar 14 2024
Times Read: 715

I see it asked a lot whether it's too late for people to get into Fallout 76. I think because there's a Fallout TV show coming out soon maybe it's peaking people's interest, but is it really viable to jump into an online game that's already been out over six years now? What most people don't understand about 76 is that it really isn't like other online games. There's no rank, no leaderboards, no true competitive setting aside from your level which, like I've been over, is pretty much just for show. A lower level can easily get to the power level of someone 1000+ if they really want to, if they invest in their build and equipment, and know what they're doing. And if you don't know what you're doing there are so many people who will help you, almost anyone, who will give you shit for free, advise you on what you should be doing, and help you if you need it. And if you're not about dealing with other people you really don't have to. Generally, what attracts people the most are events, and events are completely optional. You can go through the whole game with minimal interaction with other players if you just avoid the events. And even if you do happen to run into someone in the wild, they'll probably just run right past you without a second thought. You 100% do not have to involve yourself with other people. I would suggest you do because most are incredibly helpful, but I get it. I didn't go into 76 for the first few years either because I didn't want to play with other people. But after I finally got into it I realized how rare it is to even see other people if you're not looking for them. And if you pay the $13 for Fallout 1st you can play the game fully alone in your own server. If you like Fallout, particularly 4, you should definitely get into 76, it's not too late, especially with the upcoming show it's probably a perfect time. I dunno if I'll watch it or not. Why watch it when you could play it? That's kinda my stance.
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I'm so torn by the idea of Dark Souls 4...
Sure, I'm one of the biggest Souls fans, and having a new game, even years from now, to explore would be beyond amazing. But. Where do you go with Dark Souls 4? I don't know if you've ever played 3... It has a certain finality to it. Like literally, the end of everything. If you go by the DLC. I guess though the implication is that the whole Dark Souls world is a painted world within a painted world which would make sense in a way because on the ruins of every old kingdom a new kingdom rises like the old is being painted over, but not fully erased. I dunno, I need to replay 3 xD Because my lore memory there is murky. I just don't know where we would go in 4. We can't go back to Anor Londo. God forbid they send us back to Drangleic. But you can't just completely cut 4 off from the rest of the series. I see so many issues with even the prospect of Dark Souls 4 that I just kinda want them to leave it alone. I don't want another 2. Unfortunately, 2 was, and still is massively underappreciated. I can see why people disliked it, but I don't think they ever really gave it a real shot. They just saw that it wasn't 1, it wasn't Anor Londo, and shit all over it. Personally, I love the ending if 2. Because it doesn't show you your own choice. Because it doesn't fucking matter what you would choose. Your choices, and actions in Dark Souls are so fucking irrelevant. They build your character up to he this all-powerful Universe shaping thing, but in the end, the Universe does it's thing either way. You choose to link the fire, it'll die back down eventually. You choose to let darkness reign, the fire will flare up again eventually. No matter what you choose the cycle continues in either direction. The whole game is a cosmic joke of personal irrelevance. That's kinda how I saw it anyway by the third game, third chance to link the fire, why bother? I feel like Elden Ring is the evolved form of Dark Souls, and therefore do we really need another? It's like, do we need another Elden Ring? They're already talking about a sequel to that. Where would you go with an Elden Ring sequel? I feel like the only real direction you could go with it is with Ranni. Or maybe even Rykard, and the God-devouring serpent. Cause that thing obviously wasn't completely dead, it was still wiggling. It's not that you need a character from a previous game, but I think that's one reason people hated on Dark Souls 2 so much, it completely takes you away from all the characters and scenery of the first game. FromSoftware obviously didn't realize that most people are raging morons who can't pick up on subtle connections, that's why they went hard-in on the fanservice in Dark Souls 3. Dark Souls 2 is absolutely connected to 1, it's just not, "Omg, there's Gwyndolyn in Anor Londo," over the fucking head connected which is what people wanted and expected. If there is an Elden Ring sequel, they'll expect the same which is a shame because Souls games are built on that sorta subtlety/obscurity. But the average person is simply not intelligent enough for it. But maybe I just fucking hate people xD I've been in a super antisocial mood lately... I flit between hypersocial and antisocial. I think it's an energy thing. I have a period of time where I crave interacting with lots of people, but once I absorb enough energy off of them I suddenly just want to completely be left alone. Maybe I'm just a fucking parasite. Currently, people are just too tedious to... people with.

COMMENTS

17:47 Mar 13 2024
Times Read: 744

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Radstorm rolling by💚

COMMENTS

06:55 Mar 13 2024
Times Read: 772

The Elden Ring DLC comes out June 21st... Hey, guess who's leaving for a week long vacation exactly on June 21st? The Universe has never given me a bigger middle finger xD Cause it could've been released ANY OTHER DAY, but it just had to be the exact day I'm fucking leaving. I considered not going, ni seriously, it's that important, but that's not an option. I thought about taking my PS5 with me. Yeah, ok Aiyana, you're really gonna take it to the beach? I know that once I'm at the beach I won't want to do anything else, but be in the water. So there's no point. It's only a week. It's just that it's very typical, it's very my fucking luck for this to happen.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to play Dragon's Dogma 2 when it drops. I know I'll play it eventually, but I'm considering like as soon as it drops. Like I said, I played a ton of the first one. Repetitive, yes, but still great. I always loved the big dragon fight. Honestly, it's a lot of fun fighting all of the larger enemies so I'm hoping they brought that back. It's also a bit curious that Dragon's Dogma is the only game I've used daggers as my weapons. Which is one thing I don't particularly care for about the first one, your class-locked into certain weapons and armor. If you're a rogue, you can only use rogue equipment. Naturally, you probably would anyway, but I like having options. A Great Scythe is typically not a rogue weapon, but I sure fucking use it like one in Dark Souls. Interestingly, I've never used the scythe variant in Bloodborne so I'm kind of intrigued to go back, and do that. Much as I love Bloodborne, I've done everything I could, I've platinumed it so I haven't really gone back to it. I saw they are planning to remaster it, I don't think it needs it, but that's just me apparently. I need to take a break from Fallout. I've been a bit... unhinged lately xD People just... they fucking annoy me. Lack of courtesy drives me up the fucking wall. Nothing gets me there faster than a person standing in front of me like I'm not there. At that point I make it my personal mission to ruin the fun for everyone. You're gonna deliberately block me from getting kills? I'm gonna run around, and kill everything so fast you never see XP again. And then I'm gonna nuke your camp. And if you leave the server, I'll follow you to the new one, and stealth mode kill you from a mile away until you leave the game. Fucking try me xD Unless you're even more of a little bitch with pvp off. I hate getting to that level, but holy fuck... Do NOT stand in front of me. It's Uranium Fever every fucking time. Bethesda needs to take the easier events off the mutation invasion circuit. You've got 10+ people squished in an area trying to kill a handful of enemies. It doesn't work. It kinda works for Moonshine Jamboree, Eviction Notice or Guided Meditation because those are very open events with more enemies, but the enemies need to be harder. People get pissed off at me in Moonshine Jamboree all the time for killing things too fast, start throwing grenades at me hoping I'll shoot it in VATS, and blow myself up. Sorry you suck level 200 assholes. I ran into someone over level 15,000 at my camp a couple days ago. First time I'd seen that high. But ya know, I said before that level is merely a status symbol after around 300. There is absolutely zero benefit to being that high, just means you've probably been on the game since launch, and spent a ridiculous amount of time there. I made it to around 600 at my one year mark so I'll probably be around 1000 at two years in. And I play quite a bit. I can only imagine at level 15,000 you probably spend damn near 24/7 there. Or maybe a hacker. I've never understood the point of cheating your way in games, especially in Fallout where there's not a even a leaderboard or anything, like what are you trying to prove? I remember when I was like 15 playing Diablo 2, and I was online in like my own open world game, and these two guys came in, and just started dumping a ton of the best in game equipment right in town, and I remember thinking... this is all probably duped... But I'm gonna take this god-tier bow anyway xD I wouldn't do that in Fallout. I actually am quite attached to my gun there🖤

COMMENTS

08:20 Mar 08 2024
Times Read: 828

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My gun finally chose a name for itself🖤
I've been told it's OP. I always tell people, it's not the gun, it's the person using it. My gun is OP... if you're a crit VATS build. The recoil on it freehand aiming is pretty janky. But in VATS it's killer, literally. Generally the only thing that can outdamage me, aside from large explosive weapons, is the Railway Rifle, which I've tried, but... it just doesn't feel right. Max ammo on that gun, even with Quad legendary, is like 45. Mine holds 85, and costs almost nothing to shoot. AP = action points which you use shooting, stabbing, punching, jumping, running, any attack in VATS really. You run outta AP, gotta wait for it to refresh before you can do anything, bad thing in the middle of a fight. I happen to have the perk card Grim Reaper's Sprint on my character which means any kill in V.A.T.S. has a 35% chance to restore all AP. Very, very important card for a VATS crit build. It basically means I can shoot damn near endlessly, only needing to stop to quickly reload most of the time. So another benefit to having 85 rounds in. The Railway Rifle also uses way more AP. I think the least I could get it down to was around 7 or 8, which doesn't seem like much difference, but it's actually huge. I was trying to explain all this to Cheshire a few nights ago, he was at work, probably really bored, so he was asking me all about 76. I've told him if he'd just buy a Playstation, even a PS4, he could play with me. I also told him that since he's been wanting to play Elden Ring it would be a great time to get a Playstation when the DLC comes out, and I could replay with him... Because I plan to replay it anyway. But he's never played a Souls game so it might be helpful to have a hard-core Souls veteran helping him with boss fights... But I was trying to explain to him in 76 that past level 300, your level is just a number, it is merely a status symbol. Leveling past 300 doesn't give you any advantage in game. Now that being said... obviously you want the prestige of being a long-term, high ranking member... And it stands to reason that the longer you've been playing, the better equipment you probably have compared to lower levels. The way equipment works in 76 is that you want Legendary shit. You can either find it or craft it. Even if you craft it though, the Legendary effects put on your stuff is random, you don't get to pick specifically what you want on it. So maybe you get really lucky as a lower level, maybe you find or craft something God-tier, but by a higher level you should definitely have something pretty powerful just through sheer odds unless you're just extremely unlucky. My weapon wasn't what I was going for, it didn't have the qualities I was initially rolling for, but what I found ended up being better than anything I was ever looking for. And it fucking destroys🖤
I was also telling Cheshire how some dumb bitch came into my camp, picked the lock on my ammo creator, and stole all the 45s inside. I wasn't really that upset about it because I usually keep about 15,000 rounds on me at all times, and my ammo maker only makes, and holds 333 at a time. So she only made it out with 333. If she had simply asked me, I would've given her a lot more. It happened a couple weeks ago, just me and some random in am event together, and he asked if I had any 45s to spare so I gave him 2500, and advised him that if he wasn't making his own bullets by now, he should be. He was only like level 60, but still, it's much better to make your own especially if you're running an automatic. So yeah, if she had simply asked me... it would've been much more profitable. Instead she chose to steal from me for very little which immediately made her Wanted, and someone killed her for the bounty before I could. Thought about nuking her camp... but it takes 30 minutes to get through a silo, she really wasn't worth the effort especially since she had already died for it. I guess at a lower level 300 seems like a lot. My gun eats through 300 bullets in like a minute xD

COMMENTS

23:12 Mar 06 2024
Times Read: 856

Speaking of Dragon's Dogma...
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Found this from five years ago.
Ah, memories😔
I'm curious if they'll be bringing the Pawn thing back in 2. I dunno, having this mindless, emotionless, obedient thing following you around making comments in it's flat, monotone voice... I always thought it was a bit creepy. No less traumatizing having to watch one slide down whole as a lump in a basilisk's throat though...

COMMENTS

20:12 Mar 06 2024
Times Read: 878

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The Sinking City is one of the few games I've platinumed. It kinda randomly stands there in my platinum trophies next to giants like Bloodborne, Dark Souls and Fallout 4. Despite this, it's difficult to say whether I think it was a really good game... I've been enamored with the Lovecraft mythos since I was about 11 years old. My dad had an impressive library of books of back then, including the Lovecraftian works, and he told me specifically to stay away from them. So of course... I didn't.
I don't particularly remember The Sinking City very well, it's been a few years. I feel like I remember it being a bit repetitive. I was thinking the same thing about Dragon's Dogma recently, how fucking repetitive it was, but also how many times I played through it despite that. I'm already seeing, "Dragon's Dogma 2 is the greatest RPG ever," bullshit. I'm sure it's fantastic. But I already know it won't be better than Bloodborne, Dark Souls or Elden Ring. It just won't. I do still intend to play it, and e joy it. But it won't be the best thing I've ever played. That's one of the many things that annoyed me about Skyrim when it first came out. How everyone, "Omg, you gotta play this, it's the best RPG anyone has ever made." Then getting there, and seeing it's so mediocre in every possible way. It's boring, it's ugly, it has no heart or soul. I've played through Skyrim twice, and to this day I could not tell you what the fuck was happening in it. I couldn't tell you who is who, I think there were two sides fighting, and then eventually dragons. That's about all there is to that entire game. The only thing I really cared about in it was immediately going, and joining the Thieves Guild. But once you're done with the Thieves Guild quest line, that's just kinda it for them. I also remember that being a vampire was extremely useful in Oblivion. Garbage in Skyrim. And the dragon fights are so BORING and easy. You're fighting a fucking DRAGON, that's supposed to mean something, that's supposed to evoke fear or anticipation, not a big sigh at another easy dragon fight, and another and another. I hope they bring back the dragon fights in Dreadwolf. Because fighting dragons in Inquisition is so much fun, it's actually challenging. I'm just saying, I hate seeing Dragon's Dogma 2 getting super hyped up already... I'm sure I'll love it, but greatest rpg ever? Nah.
I'll play the Sinking City 2. Eventually. It's just unfortunate that most Lovecraft based games aren't very good. I always consider Bloodborne to have a Lovecraftian type story and world, but it's not literally the actual mythos so it doesn't really count. I have fond memories of playing Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth on the original Xbox way back. I saw they were releasing the original Star Wars Battlefront games on newer consoles, and that gives me a fucking nostalgia trip. Sweet memories of killing my brother in those games over, and over, and over until he eventually refused to play with me anymore xD Good times~♡

COMMENTS

07:00 Mar 05 2024
Times Read: 921

I've been feeling a bit antisocial so I've been running solo in Fallout, but I met up with the guys tonight, and apparently I missed a whole bunch of drama wherein Jelly got his Playstation account "hacked", taken over, and sold off. I say "hacked" because... Jelly is kind of a dumbass. He gave the "hacker" his actual password, he just switched a couple of the numbers in it around which the "hacker" obviously easily figured out, and took his account. Why he even attempted to give this person a fake password or why he didn't give a better fake password, literally anything unrelated to his actual password, he didn't explain that to me xD But again... Jelly is kind of a dumbass. Like I wish I had been there to witness, and stop this stupidity, but at the same time, how stupid can you be? Like the hacker not only got his account, but all his personal information like name, location, credit card. So he contacted Sly since they actually interact outside of Fallout. Again, I do not allow them into my personal life. They were talking tonight about how they know what each other looks like, but I don't know what they look like, and they don't know what I look like. And my response was pretty much, I don't give a fuck what you look like, that's none of my business xD And when I tried to explain to them that I'm generally a Harley Quinn goth girl they just snickered because they didn't believe me. That's fine, I'm not compelled to prove how I look to them, I literally only care to keep things on the Playstation. Maybe that's harsh, but... I didn't even stay on with them long. Jelly kept complaining how bored he was which was ruining my vibe. He was trying to convince me to get an Occulus to join him, and Sly on that. Yeah, no thank you, not my thing. I don't get the virtual reality hype, it doesn't thrill me. Cheshire has shown me some of the antics he gets up to with his friends on there which has left me even less impressed. You walk around hitting each other with dildos? You could just do that irl if it's so fucking funny, dude. Cheshire with his friends is not the Cheshire he is with me. He says it's because him doing dumb shit makes people happy, and he feeds off of that. I like to think I have a pretty decent sense of humor. Behaving like an immature shithead just because you're in front of your friends... it's not attractive to me. Wolfie was similar. Except with him it was always drinking with his friends. An alcoholic should never drink. But he'd always tell me, "It's guy time, and I haven't seen them in forever." So I'd allow it. But suddenly he'd be calling me at 3am, extremely tipsy, walking home through Vienna. And while I appreciated that he'd call me so I'd know he got home safe and alone, it was only something that seemed to happen when his male buddies were around. He definitely didn't want to drink around me for various reasons, mostly the fact that you shouldn't drink, and tie someone up. It's just interesting watching the way guys interact, and behave with each other compared to how they behave with me. With me, Cheshire is very somber. With his friends, he seems much more happy and energetic. And it's one of the things that makes me question how genuine he is about things because it's such a drastic shift in his personality. What's real with him? He has major issues with vulnerability. And I get that, if you've been hurt all your life by people you were supposed to be able to trust it can be difficult, or impossible, to reveal anything to anyone that they could possibly use to also hurt you. It reminds me a lot of when I first met Wolfie, the difference is that Wolfie is the kinda person who goes after what he wants, he's direct, so we ended up in a relationship pretty quickly after we met, there was no awkward confusion on whether we were into each other or not, he saw me, he claimed me, and he also had massive issues with vulnerability, but there was never any confusion to how he felt. Sometimes I think Cheshire is into me. Sometimes I think he's not. And he's told me, a bit offensively, that I seem like I need to be told how important I am. First of all, fuck you. I have been abandoned by so many people, I have been thrown away like actual garbage so many times by so many people, if you think I need you, as my fucking friend, to make me feel important, maybe just do it instead of, "Oh, you just NEED people to make you feel important." And fucking secondly, if I don't ask him how he feels, he won't tell me. He won't just say it. I'd like to know, even if your feelings are, "Hell no, I don't think about you or miss you or anything, you're just some bimbo I talk to when I'm bored," fine, if that's how you feel at least I know.
The worst part is... I'm constantly telling myself to stop. Because it doesn't matter how Cheshire feels. Because at the end of the day, I'm still hopelessly in love with someone else. And some days I feel like maybe one day I'll be able to move on.
But not today.
Not tomorrow...
I dunno, maybe I just feel like if somebody would fucking step up, and try, like REALLY try, maybe they could break this spell on me. I don't want to not love Wolfie. But I don't want to love someone who abandoned me, and never looked back. Someone who told me many times, "Since we both know how it feels to be abandoned, we know we'd never do that to each other. We'll always find each other."
Is that right?
Of course after typing all this out, I close my browser, open another, and am immediately greeted by an ad featuring a green-eyed wolf...
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I can't decide if the Universe is infinitely cruel or kind with it's signs...

COMMENTS

19:51 Mar 02 2024
Times Read: 966

I have absolutely zero interest in Final Fantasy 7 the rebirthening awakening revengeance whatthefuckever. I never saw the obsession with 7... I always felt like the people who over-loved 7 obviously never played 6 because 7 is massively inferior to 6. And if you have played 6, and still think 7 is better, you're probably one of those mindless idiot drones with no video game taste eagerly awaiting the next half-ass Resident Evil, Elder Scrolls or whatever Disney decides to shit out.
Dissidia-Kefka-Speech