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17 entries this month
08:44 Aug 30 2008
Times Read: 853
Yay new words to add to my list of issues lol. I'm doing this as both a journal and to help if someone on here has these things they can find help/ talk to me about it.
Plus I think theres something cool about having a disease, fatal or otherwise (guess I'm just sick in the head too lmao)
So as it stands I have Chronic Back Pain with Scoliosis and Radiculopathy going down into the legs, Autonomic Sensory Neuropathy (ASN) of unknown origin with connections to B-12 anemia and Chronic Migraine Syndrome.
The Sural biopsy they are wanting to preform is to help figure out which of the 5 main classes of ASN I have. From what I know and without further testing I think I've got it narrowed down to either hereditary or spontaneous genetic mutation. I say mutation because I have had a lot of exposure to chemicals and radiation over my lifetime which can speed up mutation.
I'm getting more comfortable with the abdominal symptoms and it's issues. It still scares me at times and is very inconvenient but at least I know I don't have some organ failing or infection.
00:20 Aug 30 2008
Times Read: 870
I need a tag line or catch phrase..any help?
21:48 Aug 29 2008
Times Read: 875
I had two interesting dreams last night.
The first was of me in some unknown location in a lap pool. I was a swimmer and kept coming close to beating Phelps records but couldn't quite make it.
I figure I had the dream because I used to be a swimmer in my younger years and I am somewhat jealous of Phelps. He and I are around the same age and our lives focus on two totally different paths, athletics for him and politics/physics for me.
But in my silly mind I hold Olympic records above the pages of my own accomplishments. And I must admit that I feel cut short due to various life experiences.
The other dream I had took place in todays time. The US had fallen into a Martial Law state and the various States began to defend themselves from the illegal and war like actions of the Federal gov.
Being in the South we had banded together and "the South rose again." After doing some covert operations and engaging in several conflicts I was killed in a trench holding a small copy of the Confederate Seal.
This dream need little explanation in my mind but it does raise the question, to me, should I re-involve myself in peaceful drives for independence? I've dealt with it before and I'm sure I'll struggle with it in the future.
01:15 Aug 27 2008
Times Read: 890
Hmm my systems bandwidth is 6x that of a T1 line...is that good? muhahaha
Oh my really bad bout of health seems to be getting better :)
06:06 Aug 19 2008
Times Read: 927
The past few weeks have been...interesting.
I really want to write a few things in my journal from the energy crisis to Russo-Georgian conflict and a bit of US politics, oh and I want to answer the questions raised on my articles on "The Nature of Time."
Plus there are so many things I want to do for my Coven and VR in general.
I guess patience is the name here and now I'm going to go lay down, catch my breath and maybe get some nice dirty dreams.
Oh side bar: The universe is not infinite in size...tell you more about that latter.
07:33 Aug 16 2008
Times Read: 962
Health Update 08/16/08
Friday I went to my specialist as I do every month. When I mentioned the details of my disability denial he became rather outraged and I assured him I'd be "lawyering up."
We talked for a good 30 minutes and he said he's narrowed down my illness to one of the five categories of Autonomic Sensory Neuropathy.
He followed that up by saying:
-It's of unknown origin.
-It won't get better and I'll need to stay on my meds for the rest of my life.
-May have been caused by a spontaneous genetic mutation. Given my high exposure to chemicals and radiation this wouldn't surprise me.
He also said that I need to have a biopsy of the Sural nerve asap. The nerve has little function other than to bring sensation to the ankle area however the biopsy may require a rather large and deep incision. Not looking forward to that.
I lost another lb bringing me to 114lb. He reassured me that weight-loss, abdominal pain, radial nerve pain, heart issues..... all can be attributed to ASN.
23:21 Aug 13 2008
Times Read: 991
I got my disability decision in the mail today. Guess what???? I was turned down.
It's not a big thing that I was turned down at first since the majority of people are denied the initial time. What has me up in arms is the why and how they denied me.
For one they didn't use the records from the specialist I've been seeing for a year. And then the medical issues they answered specifically was done in a way only a total ignorant could have done.
So of course I am appealing and contacting a lawyer.
Yes America is the best nation on earth, but no offense, the bar isn't all that high.
Although ,it's little surprise that a guy with my issues was denied when they took a guy with MS off because "he was no longer disabled."
And no this does not change the meaning of the signs of good fortune that have happened nor my belief in them.
03:05 Aug 13 2008
Times Read: 1,013
So before I get off here I just want to express that I'm very happy that an old friend has returned.
It's always a good sign when friends come back. Speaking of good signs yesterday a yellow butterfly landed on me, such sweet tidings.
05:02 Aug 11 2008
Times Read: 1,045
Note: I'll get on my love life a bit later...no pun intended ;)
I attempted another walk today which went pretty well until the end when my leg decided to start killing me.
As always I was with a friend and talked about the Olympics and then China and it's world conquering ways and how we should defect given our political and military knowledge..of course we won't, well not until they stat invading haha
Anywho then we started talking about how the past 2 years we really haven't had any paranormal or supernatural things happen to us nor done any exorcisms (I'm trained to, she just helps).
She told me a story about a "man" in our friends home who came into her room, she threw a teddy bear at him and he threw it back at her head. It made me laugh but this entity was what I call "bad mamajick."
The guys whos house it was did a lot of big witchcraft and on top of it there had been a murder and the body left under the house (I saw it). So the place was reeking of evil spirits and other not so nice things.
The funny thing is these guys focused on really evil things but ask a Christian pastor to do the exorcism (yes it worked, just took me a few days).
And as I read that then think of my opening statement I see an issue, but not really.
Christians aren't perfect nor supposed to be and while saying I'll write about my sex life may not be the Christian thing to do I don't think it's a damnable offense, plus it ain't gonna be graphic (Not in the way you're wanting Miss Kon.) ;)
19:47 Aug 10 2008
Times Read: 1,071
Wonders if I should talk more about my love life...
05:21 Aug 10 2008
Times Read: 1,089
Lets see what happened today?
I woke up at around 10AM and messed around on here until 5ish.
Went to my brothers at 6pm and got to stand for a few hours while my brother, me and his 2 kids all had a nice chat. So of course I'm in a TON of pain but it was actually really nice. I got to have the first real conversation with my 9 year old niece and well she's a lot like me :)
We talked about biking, dissecting animals, open heart surgery, presidents and "Johnny Appleseed."
Finally got home around 10:30pm and saw the last part of "China's First Emperor" on the History Channel. I still say that the Chinese have been on a 5,000 year quest to rule the world and I think it'll happen sooner or later...guess I need to go learn a new language lol
Nothing of great not really happened so I suppose this is a rather bland entry but I don't write in a physical journal so this is it haha!
--X
18:50 Aug 09 2008
Times Read: 1,119
You know what really grinds my gears? When people bring their own sh*t to my journal.
I try to stay drama free and tend to be a pretty neutral place for people to come to and a moderator for real VR issues.
But people can't let me be.
You know who you are so stop it. I like both of you and don't care if you do or don't like each other. But next time I see a display of childish behaviour in my journal you'll be headed towards a block.
Why am I putting this hear? So everyone will see that I don't name names nor tolerate stupid, petty arguments crossing the journal realm.
I do think an apology to me, at least, is in order. And it would do good for the two of you to let whatever the hell your little "issues/peeves" go and get on with both your VR lives.
05:49 Aug 09 2008
Times Read: 1,146
I watched the Olympic Opening Ceremony tonight and it was absolutely amazing. An orgy of lights, sounds and culture to feed all the senses.
Although I understand the peaceful nature of the underlining culture of China the Opening did leave me thinking Swastikas for squinty eyed people. {Anyway}
The notion of a "One World, One People" is an ideology I find both uplifting but fraught with potential problems. I think I've given my thoughts on that somewhere.
On a lighter note I just finished watching the episode of Frasier where Niles and Frasier find out their IQ score. Of course with ego, sibling rivalry, and a touch of obsessiveness they about killed themselves.
Which brings me to my IQ. Which is a number many would like to know. I don't like people knowing the real specifics of my life.
But because many have asked I'll give you the range of 120-180..I usually say 152 but thats not right either.
I am out of meds, only 7 days this time so not to bad. This months "outage" was due to the 3 migraines I had and the pinched nerve in my right arm. Ugh sometimes you look up at the night sky and just go "why."
Well thats all for tonight.
--Xman
00:05 Aug 09 2008
Times Read: 1,174
I'm cold and I'm bored
*cries*
20:26 Aug 07 2008
Times Read: 1,191
Well I'm feeling better, still lightheaded though. Trying to catch up on some work and filling out papers for some unclaimed property of mine the State has...always nice to get some :)
Not sure what else to say really my brain is a bit empty right now. (no jokes!)
07:37 Aug 07 2008
Times Read: 1,205
Sorry I haven't been on much lately. I've been rather sick the past 2 weeks. This week has been hell.
Starting to feel a lil better (but you know how that works out lol)
I'll try to get back on here as soon as I'm able :)
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COMMENTS
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thesavageant
00:00 Aug 31 2008
...I should just kill myself now, make things easy.
DuCroix
00:26 Aug 31 2008
does the top one just mean input = output
Babaganoosh
00:48 Aug 31 2008
....Why do things like that exist!?! >. >
That could be used as a torture weapon! =P
Sinora
11:38 Aug 31 2008
Omg...your really are beyond all help hon lmao