The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

22:35 Apr 26 2009
Times Read: 827

Sorry I've been missing recently. Short story, possibly dying sucks and not being able to pay for tests sucks just as much lol. Once I'm rested up I'll be back, y'all should know by now that when I "vanish" I always come back :)



*hugs everyone*

00:50 Apr 23 2009
Times Read: 851

So I'm trying out a new combination of meds to try and level out the amount and severity of my stomach issues. I'm really hoping it works. So far, the last 3 days, it's done alright but I won't really know until a full week or two. Stomach problems are the 2nd most painful, bothersome, and really hellish issue I have, next of course to the back pain etc. It's also played a very large role in my depression and at times suicidal tendencies. If I can finally get it under control then you can expect a whole new X-man :)

05:30 Apr 21 2009
Times Read: 868

So I'm watching "A Prairie Home Companion", film, and I swear Lindsay Lohan has a mustache! Like seriously lol I'll try and put up a pic when I can.

02:46 Apr 19 2009
Times Read: 889

Not sure exactly what happened but my knee is definitely on the outs. I woke up Thursday and as I tried to get out of bed my left knee went *POW*. I hobbled my way into the bathroom and found a large, oval, red section of skin above my knee. The discolouration went away after a few hours but since then walking, bending the leg, pretty much any movement of the knee hurts like heck. Even the pain meds don't help. Thankfully if it's kept still it doesn't really hurt but any movement does, it also feels like it needs to pop every little bit.



It isn't as bad as it was in the beginning but it's still not too good. No clue what happened other than maybe I did something in my sleep. At least I can show off my new cane more often lol.

17:35 Apr 17 2009
Times Read: 914

*cries* I need to stop watching shows about the "rich and famous", it just brings up memories that make me sad.



Going from poor to rich is one thing, going from rich to poor is whole other ballpark. It's hard for me to not think on the past even though it doesn't help the whole depression thing. Being able to go anywhere or get anything I wanted, having the ability to work pro bono and give those close to me uber nice gifts (mostly jewelry) was such a nice thing. Oh well, at least I can still afford my chocolates :) lol



Now, I'm off to pity myself some more haha

17:32 Apr 16 2009
Times Read: 932

Well this is nice. For the past few weeks I've noticed that the lower right part of my face and right side of my neck is getting more and more numb. The feeling in it just wont come back. I can feel if something is touching the area but it's very diffuse, sorta like if you took a lot of Novocain and put it on your skin. And my top of my left ear has been hurting off and on the past few days, like serious pain. It's a bit red as well.



I don't know why my ear would be hurting and the only thing I can come up with for my face is the damaged nerve in my neck, which is on the right side. It seems the damage has gotten worse.



This stuff is just not fun at all and I'm really getting tired of it, both physically and emotionally.

00:47 Apr 16 2009
Times Read: 958

I should probably start seasoning my speech. I'm not one who goes around insulting people (regardless of if they deserve it or not) but lately it's just been so difficult to let alone.



There aren't many buttons that send me off the hook but the one's that do can get me pretty warmed up. I've never been able to really let things slide off my back without a thought. Usually I do spend time going over things in my head and if something happens just once it isn't often that I let out loud but if it keeps on going I just can't sit back. I can't watch as people I care about get threatened, or I get attacked or the offending person(s) keep blabbing about total falsehoods in hopes of misleading others.



I deal with things like that all the time in the "real world" I don't need it happening in a place I come to for enjoyment. The last thing anyone here needs is certain people making VR life difficult. Yeah folks could ignore these people, ordinarily, but it isn't a normal circumstance when the mud keeps being thrown.



Oh well, I should still watch myself and my words. Just because I don't want to damage myself or any innocent person when I could be just as effective if not more so by taking the high ground.



I am so tired but I can't sleep. Why? Because I can't seem to get my nails right. Damn my shakey hands! lol

16:46 Apr 13 2009
Times Read: 973

I really want to go on a "tornado tour". I've been through 6 twisters but most times I'm having to hide in a closet than actually see and enjoy them. So I was doing some research on the tours and really didn't know what all exactly they involved. They sound really cool, aside from chasing storms which don't always do what you want theres also chances to go to parks, museums, military bases etc depending on what the sky is doing. A typical 6 day tour costs $2,600 and that's not including hotels, food etc! lol



Still though, it would be really nice to go. Maybe I can find a way to work things out to go on one next year. Would be super great and make me a very happy boy. But, of course, I'd have to contain myself and not get all excited "down there" when there's a sky winky coming after us lmao.



On an unrelated note, I've noticed that even though my journal recently has been filled with crap and just meaningless random stuff it continues to get on more and more fav lists. I loves it! So if'n you don't have on your fav list yet add me or I'll cry :)

02:31 Apr 13 2009
Times Read: 995

I'm going back to my "dog" days. Investing emotionally in boys keeps misfiring so I just wont do it at all.



Four years ago I said the same thing after being cheated on but this time it all just went to mush. Seriously, I'm expected to walk around topics or keep the doors closed on my "less than nice" attributes? I don't do that for anyone, so, I wont do that for anyone :)



*sighs* just as expected all those moons ago. So much for trying.



Now please give a huge welcome to Xzavier, the cold hearted man whore!

01:29 Apr 13 2009
Times Read: 1,002

There are WAY to many 'Alabama Wind Chimes' in my town.



No, I'm not in a good mood :)

23:57 Apr 11 2009
Times Read: 1,027

I think I want to get rid of a few pounds actually, just enough to get back to a 28. Being close to a 30 is to much for me.



I ran into Jamie today (boy I went on a few dates with at the end of 08). Was having lunch at IHOP when he came up and gave me a hug. We talked for a few minutes and it was really nice to see him again. We had some pretty good chemistry but I let health get in the way and hold me back. He's got a seriously cute butt and looks a whole lot like me in the face.

He's also really sweet, smart and gives a GREAT massage!



Unlike Stevie I know he wouldn't turn me down and I could really use a guy in my life about now.

10:46 Apr 11 2009
Times Read: 1,049

Here are some pics of the biggest tornado (out of 5 to hit my town) along with a picture of some of the damage.

As it goes past downtown (dt is 'behind' the camera)







This was the view from City Hall







So far around 43 casualties and $4 million in damage.







We actually had a tornado hit 2 weeks ago which tore up a few buildings (including the Boys and Girls Club) but only in an area 1 maybe 2 blocks wide. Yesterdays (April 10, 2009) twisters not only included the 5 in my city of Murfreesboro (pop 120,000) but also left a trail of damage all across Middle Tenn.



After the largest hit there was a small funnel cloud that tried to drop down on my neighborhood. It was literally above me (yes I was outside for most of it along with 2 other ppl from my apt complex) and we could feel the winds in our midst, pretty freaky.



It's going to take a while for things to get back to normal. Almost 4 years to the day we had another break out (Mother's Day 05) which leveled massive areas of Murfreesboro and vicinity. I'm starting to think that the real heart of Tornado Alley is actually here and not the mid west lol.

00:55 Apr 11 2009
Times Read: 1,075

Not sure which link will work but here's a short vid of the twister that went by my apartment.



So far 2 dead, 41 injured.





http://www.newschannel5.com/global/video/popup/pop_playerLaunch.asp?vt1=v&clipFormat=flv&clipId1=3640907&at1=Weather&h1=Time Lapse Video On Tornado Moving Through Murfreesboro



http://www.newschannel5.com/Global/category.asp?C=105910&nav=menu374_3

20:09 Apr 10 2009
Times Read: 1,121

HOLY HELL! We just had a major tornado outbreak in Middle Tennessee and the northern half of my town is pretty much gone.



I was in the middle of taking a shower when I heard the sirens going off. I turned on the TV to see what was going on and then went outside to take a look. After about 15 min it started raining, hail, wind and all that fun stuff. I went to a neighbors balcony to get a better view and there it was, a tornado at least 1/2 a mile wide..sooo pretty.



The outbreak lasted about 2 1/2 hours and so far in my city we have 13 casualties. We don't yet know exactly how many twisters touched down but at least 3 in my county alone.



I love storms but I am all to aware of the danger they poses. I'm really tired now so please don't get offended if I don't answer messages right away.

19:50 Apr 09 2009
Times Read: 1,144

In the past 4 months I've gone from 114lbs to 125lbs and I'm staying there. I really don't want to gain anymore weight even though I had originally said I wanted to get to 150lbs. Yes I do have a bit of an eating issue but mostly I just really love having a size 28 waist and having like 80% of the gay (and straight woman) population calling me a bitch while they smile. It feels good to have folks jealous of me hehe.



I really don't care how vain or shallow or whatever you think this entry is, it's just what's been going on in my little world recently.



I'll die in tight jeans before I live in moo-moo betches! lmao

10:12 Apr 09 2009
Times Read: 1,159

My heart is broken :( Well sorta, Stevie said that for now he just wants to be my BFF not BF *sighs* At least he was nice about it.



Suppose I should put on my lab coat, wrap my stethoscope around my neck and go save a life to make myself feel better.

13:03 Apr 07 2009
Times Read: 1,178

I'm not "back" as I had hoped. Somethings have happened in 'real life' which has and probably will continue to keep from here as much for a while.



When your mind and soul is ablaze it is difficult to focus on rating profiles and dealing with the day to day happenings of the internet.



A few of you know and to the rest it isn't all that important so don't give it another thought.



--X

01:41 Apr 03 2009
Times Read: 1,204

I don't mind drinking, heck my family has our own winery in California. I also don't mind getting tipsy, buzzed etc. However, I do not do the whole drunk thing.



Going out is supposed to be fun so have a few glasses and then stop. It's not hard to stop putting something in your mouth.



My family has a few alcoholics in it and my work in medicine has shown me first hand what alcohol abuse can do. To abuse alcohol you don't have to drink a litre a Vodka before noon, to abuse it all you have to do stop taking responsibility for yourself and drink one to many. Just one, that's all it takes.



I've dated a lot of guys and most of them loved to drink. Hell, I love wine, Scotch, gin and vodka and I know how to party. But, if a boy comes to me drunk he's sleeping on the couch.



People have known for years that I can't stand drunks, people that get drunk or those that act foolish as a result of the alcohol. I'm not trying to keep anyone from having a good time but if I ask you to not get drunk and you can't say ok. If you can't say that's fine but instead draw it out into a 30 minute convo on why I don't trust you or what's the big deal etc then there is a problem. I never once called you an alcoholic but if you can't say that you won't get drunk for this one party, if you can't say you'll have one less then maybe there is an issue.



How hard is it to take responsibility for yourself and your actions? "I was drunk I couldn't stop myself" BULL SHIT. Grow up and be a man, or a woman.



I can't stand alcoholics (and I'm not calling you one, trust me I'm not) but what I can't stand even less is not steeping up and taking charge of your actions.



Drink and be merry, get drunk again and you won't have even a friend in me unless you're willing to get help, should it be needed.



For a regular person it's not hard to set the glass down and say no. You can still have a great time and keep great friends without having to hold your head over a toilet bowl.



I've done some pretty bad things in the past, much worse than this and I stopped, on my own and things are pretty good considering.



Please be a man about this. Is getting drunk really worth the potential damage to health, life, money, friends and relationships? We've been on and off this road for years,now we have to stop.



--J

08:03 Apr 01 2009
Times Read: 1,209

I am NOT going to be online until April 3, 2009. No need to ask why.



Please continue to read my journal (just placed an new entry in the "Worth the Read" section) and comment, send me messages as usual etc.



I hope everyone has a great few days, see ya then. And for those who get it, I love you *hugs n kisses*