** i'm very dyslectic so bear with me here lol and i was to lazy to look up corrections after 2 hours of typing**
Well i was born in The Netherlands on May 14th 1998,
what i've been told about my first few years is that my grandma(my moms side) suffered a brain haemorrhage in 1999 wich left her paralized, according to my brother this took a mental tol on my mother, in 2000 my mother was hospitalized because of Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis this caused her to almost die, according to my dad and brother when she came out of the hospital little over a year later she wasn't the same anymore.
when i went to elemetary school at around the age of 4/5 i was bullied by teachers and other kids for being different and according to teachers dumb. the constant fighting at home did not help.
on April 14th 2006(i was almost 8) my grandma passed away after about a week of being close to death with my mother and father being pressent, my brother and me where staying at our uncle at the time. a little while later a close family friend died do to cancer again with my mother, father and also my brother pressent, a short while after that a close friend of my mother and me passed away also do to cancer. around the same year my grandad who i'm very close to suffered anabdominal aneurysm wich he should have not recofered from wich he somehow did do.
so 2006 was a very very fucked up year for us, and especially for my mother who payed a big metal because of it, and the fighting at home increased because of it.
a couple years full of fights at home pass and it's 2008 and the mental problems of my mother become more apperent when she has my brother arrest for abbusing her wich he didn't do. after wich my mother and brother go into couseling wich did not really help it only made it worse.
now a couple more years of fighting at home and bullying at school later its 2010 and i go to highschool wich did not start all to well with a suspension in my second week for getting into a fight and by accident punching a teacher who got inbetween, oeps my bad lol.
my highschool life in it's self wasn't all to bad i started at the lowest level of education and kept to the background. in my third year of highschool i got my self 2 levels up on the education level ladder. i thought that i could do the exact same when it came to sociallising as i did in my first 2 years but this year there was an asshole who just couldn't stop trying to get me to talk so after 2 weeks of him bugging the living shit out of me i finally said something to him durring P.E and those legendary words where shut up and fuck off and that started a legendary friendship. a couple weeks later he pissed some other kid off enough that there where 3 of us. and the 3 of us kinda became know as the 3 assholes who nobody really had a problem with, some teachers couldn't stand us and others(the inportant ones) loved us lol. we got ourselves in very stupid and weird situations but almost never a dull moment.
in 2014 we graduated and we went to the same college and even ended up in the same class. now this was an inportant moment for me being in this class, this class changed my life for ever and my prespective of sociallising, now this class was mostly full of assholes basically so the 3 of us fit right in and we created a group of idiotic friends, ohhh the teachers hated us alot.
but this year wasn't all fun and games cuz shit took a turn for the bad with my grandad and do to my conection with him it was hard on me and my studies suffered because of it. and fights at home happend more and more.
so well i kinda got kicked out/left this college to start studying something else.
so in September 2015 i stared stared studing sociall work and it was going well untill January 4th cuz after alot of going in out of hospitals with my gramps he was in the hospital again and i was done early with class and i took the bus that went from my school to the hospital to see him and the way he was treated there just pushed me over the edge and i broke. so i sorta dropped out of college again for a while.
2 weeks later he was back home but it wasn't long before he broke his leg and ended up back in the hospital, after about a week in the hospital they told him he also had lung cancer the day after that they told him he also has palpitations and that giving medication for one would make the other worse so around that time he arleady told me he wasn't gonna make it this time.
so couple days pass and it was a monday evening and my gramps ended up in a state of delution wich he couldn't snap out of but the delutions wheren't that bad. so the day after my dad was there the whole day and i just had mt first day back in class after wich i'd go to the hospital.
so my dad picked me up at the bus stop and told me ''dude its worse then what you said'' so we get up to his room and the shit was just out of control and at some point i went to the cafeteria to get something to eat and i remember i got a chocolate muffin and i got back to the room and i sat next to my gramps and he just would let me eat the muffin cuz he kept grabbing my hand and the delutions where getting worse and my dad and me realised at the same time it's over this is it he ain't coming back. so the 2 of us where crying and a nurse walks in and says she wants to talk to my mom and wouldn't tekk us what about and 10 min later the doctor walks in and i remember him just sticking out his hand and saying his name and i just had the urge to punch him for doing that cuz we knew exactly what he was going to say. and then my mom walked in and they said they couldn't do anything for him anymore and the where just gonna pump some calming meds together with morfine into him to calm him down so he could pass away in his sleep.
and as they moved him into a single room my mom told him it was okay and that he could go and be with mama(aka his wife) and he responded clearly and said i'm going i'm going and that was the last thing we heard him say.
so we called all his kids and his brother and they all came and in a way all said their good byes, so my family staid there with him that night and i remember it was so cold it just chilled you down to your spine.
so next day the hospital gave us supper and it was one of his favorite meals and i couldn't i just couldn't eat it so i left and i sat down in the lobby and that buddy from highschool called me to check up on me and i spoke to him for 10 minutes and he calmed me down and i went back upstairs to the room and my brother and dad where standing outside of the room and told me they where changing the morfine tubes and idk why but i believed it and i went back down with my dad whose mind just wasn't there again i should have guessed it, so we went to meet up with my mom who just came back from walking the dog and then my dad told me that my gramps had passed and i just cussed him out for lying to me and all that, and i ran away cried my ass off.
well almost straight off the bat a big family war almost started and it staid on that edge untill my gramps house was completly cleared out. and we all went our sperate ways.
this hit us all hard especially my mom and fights at home got worse
so a little over year later my mom was starting a big fight so decided to bail out of the house for a few days and i staid with a friend of mine and after bout 3 days i went home in the evening and the next afternoon my mom snapt again and had me arrested this time around for something that i didn't do.
for my father that was the last straw. so our family is completely ruined now.
and i'm out of an education and i'm going to a psychiatrist atm for depression.....fucking A
so yea that is the shortest version i could write bout my life. hope you know bit more bout me from this.
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