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I'm sinking back into apathy

A cold stark feeling

Like a long awaited buzz after a period of sobriety

Old vices coming back to haunt me

Streaks of yellow insanity in my thoughts

Unable to look someone in the eyes without hearing the laughter

Unable to look inward without fear of getting lost

Dark tunnels of thought that had remained closed off

I thought I had fixed it all, what a liar I was

You can't fix things when all your tools are broken

Everything's marred and shattered and painted with laughing faces

Where do you run to when the screaming gets too loud

pull me up

pull me up