The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I cannot stop the worry.. the fear. I'm headed into the unknown. It's terribly scary for me. Is it really something I want? I'm ashamed to say.. I still cant figure that out.. My feelings change with every word.. every look. I dont know if im really ready for that kind of change.. i've been through this before, but i guess i didnt learn because if i did, i wouldnt be feeling this way. Maybe, im just taking this too hard.. and making things difficult for myself. I've been loosing sleep over this. It's unhealthy. I have to stop fantasizing and dreaming of what could be or could of been and stop playing these hurtful games just for my benefit. Games are childish.. and a child i've been. I'm still very uncertain of what i want and what is best. Dear Heart, I'm so lost.. please show me the way.