The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Can you love someone so much that you hate them? That the heart deep inside your chest beats a thousand beats a second and you feel that a heartacttack will jolt through your body from stress any second, just by staring at them? What is love? we say we know what love is, but do we truly understand the concept of the word love, the true meaning behind it? It aches in the pit of our stomach when we hear it, half heartedly it frightens us which allows us to know that we are still human on the inside. It doesnt always happen for some, some think of love as the opening of a new world, a new era arising and the fall of the cold world has vanished into the gray clouds. others hide from it the very saying of it...LOVE.



Then there is LUST, the word we do not see often. its the word that messes with our minds and makes us stop and think to ourselves. do i love them or is it the ache of lust stabbing at my heart. You desire the other sex or the same sex; which ever one is your choosing. Lust tends to be confused so often with the word love that we seem to be drowning in it, suffocating and choking at what we think is love, is actually Lust instead.



Then there is Hate/love The conjure of words we describe when we have passion burning deep in our hearst for someone then we have this gut feeling that you want to just strangle them at times by hearing their voice. of course its a human thing to get irritated and to just not be able to stand someone let alone be in the same room with them but still manage to desire them.



I end this lulluby of my mind with:



whats the true meaning of love? is it just lust burning deep in our hearts or is true love really real?

As the walls of my mind elapse from sanity to chaos, lashing out the coils of my heart i look back to what i write, and wonder to myself. Do i write for myself? of myself? or of my fantasies i desire for? Or do i simply write for the fantasies of others and of my own. The sudden knowledge when you read fantasy, fiction in general that it talks of things we yearn for. It makes me think what others view my writing when they read it, do they crawl into the dark realm of fantasy and read each and every page to the brink where the wetness of their eyes dry up and begin to hurt? Or do they simply say wow, or what was this girl thinking when she woke up this morning... or what was this girl thinking of PERIOD. Its the beauty of fiction that gets to me. The beauty of it is that In the words of it all we still desire to be that warrior, that sexy vampire, or to be in the arms of that vampire and to have our lives being messy and unclean. It seems that our lives get duller day in and day out and sooner or later the phrase that is sometimes used " sometimes people have nothing to talk about..." will no longer be a "sometimes" but a all around repetion. we will then be living our days, day in and day out with the same thing. A cycle. The only thing that brings us out of reality is the writing of authors all over the world, even our dreams and imaginatons we get when we think of things and watch things, with holds a certain stretch of reality that turns into chaos.



Okay i let out what was on my mind.



Katye