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When I Am Hurting



It’s easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me

It’s easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair

It’s easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see “me”

It’s easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care

It’s easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen

It’s easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand

It’s easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted

It’s easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain

It’s easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul



It’s easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes

It’s easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk

It’s easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection

It’s easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held

It’s easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won’t hurt me

It’s easier for me to die, than it is for me to face life’s challenges



It’s hard for me to smile when I am hurting

It’s hard for me to talk when you won’t understand

It’s hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.



If only you’d really look at me and see who I am

If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away

If only you’d hold me, without asking why

If only you’d acknowledge the validity of my feelings.

But it’s the easy roads that are often taken

And so I hurt alone

COMMENTS

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GRTR1
02:03 Dec 25 2019

nice

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POST COMMENT

I sit here upon my bed

Wishing you or I would just die

I slide the blade across my wrist

Tears fall as the blade reaches my thigh



What a wicked game you play-

You make me feel your every emotion

Unless I become numb you're still here

There is just too much chaos and commotion



and yet i cannot fathom the though

Of forgetting you for even a mere day

Not ever just a lowly minute in time

'Cause I'll just end up coming back anyway



Why must I dream of you at night?

And your captivatingly beautiful eyes?

Why must they haunt me in my sleep?

Though in the end it's me I despise



I lay here and think of those eyes

So lovely unique and beautifully bright

I wish to kiss your eyes good morning

And look at them until we say goodnight



You make me sleep in relentless pain

'Cause I know I have fallen for you

A love not quite like the rest I say

'Cause loving me is something you cannot do



I cut myself to feel the numbness

So I don't have o feel you or think

It's better to be oblivious from you

'Cause otherwise I'm always on the brink



Sometimes it feels I'm getting closer

Instead of feeling I'm losing the fight

Just don't give up I tell myself

Because I need to hold you in my arms tight



Then I realize how fucked up I am inside

And wonder how you could ever love me

I'm a monster, unfit to be loved by you

And I think it might be time to set you free



And so I sit here upon my bed

Sliding the blade along my thigh

Then finally reach the realization

it's me who is first in line to die