Blood diet's and 'Vamping out'.08:03 Jun 12 2011
Times Read: 573
Well, I decided to go on a 'blood-diet'.. which was a bad idea because I feel: weaker, more irritable, unknown cramps, anger, hungry & thirsty *almost at up everythingin the fridge! yet I'm still skinny and let me tell you..the thirst is.. undescribable.* I feel like i vamp out sometime.. It's worst at night, the thirst I mean. One time i vamped out..I was to the point where I was literally on the floor, writhing in agony, screaming and growling, trying to fight it. I could not think, I could not talk, I could not get up; I was at the mercy of the thirst/hunger/oh-so-intense need beyond all rational comprehension. I do not like to talk about these things because 1.) they scare me, 2.) I do not like being totally at the mercy of forces out of my control, and 3.) I detest acknowledging that I am or was ...vulnerable in that way, out of control and at the mercy of these forces/the need. Starving animals have it better than that; starving animals have more pride
..I know what you're probably thinking 'what were you thinking, to stop feeding?!" well, i just don't know.. I don't have many donors, i need some. But i'm also cautious to ask people around where i live and people I know.. what am i to say? "I'm a sanguinarian vampire, would you like to be my donor,please? *with a smile*"
They'd just look at me and think i belong im crazy, that i need to be in a straight jacket.
I'll just have to have find some substitutes for now to deal with the 'hunger pangs' if you know what i mean.. *blood urges*/tame the beast within. I need to fight this hunger..Tonight, I feel the need again, but though it is intense, it is manageable. At least at this point. Let us hope and pray that it does not get worse before it gets better...
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