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Today was a day i won't forget. I met this girl today that seemed so much like me it was almost scary. Her name is aurora(well thats what everyone calls her). I was at the mall and i went outside for a ciggarette. She saw me smoking and asked if I could spare one so I did. We started talking and realized we had alot in common. I asked her to join me for dinner at Friday's if she wan't busy and she said yes. We went to dinner and got to know eachother and exchanged numbers. Hopefully this might be the one person that can change my life, time will tell....

Alot of things are changing around here, I mean yes things change no matter what, but things are changing at a abnormal rate. I don't know what to make of it. People are acting strangely, places are going to shit for absolutely no reason and normal jobs are hard to find(I m trying to leave my current line of work). Hopefully soon things will start to make more sense, for now i am gonna ride it out and continue on with my everyday life.

Well I am back in NY after my time away in other places. I came home to things i didn't expect but none of it surprises me. I have come back to loss and betrayal. the people I held closest and dearest to me have once again stabbed me in the back. It makes me just not want to give a fuck anymore and make no more connections with anyone. But being alone is even worse than being betrayed in my life. The one person closest to me, so close he is like a brother, has betrayed me. Never once in my life did I ever think he would do such a thing but low and behold he has. This loss and betrayal has destroyed my trust for people. I had someone very dear to me promise me that me and her would work things out and that i would straighten up my life so me and her could have a great life but apparently thats just too much to ask for in this world. Maybe one day I will find the love and trust i search for or maybe i won't, either way i will continue on my own voyage, helping myself become a better person and to get myself to where i want to be. till next time good bye