The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Nightside Etiquette and Interpersonal Interaction







© Aislin Ni MorRhiaghan, July 2008



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Our Nightside community is rich in culture, beauty, and history. We have inspired myths, legends, egregores, archetypes, and innumerable forms of entertainment. Along with our own brands of music, aesthetic, vernacular, and culture we also have our own form of etiquette. Social norms withstanding, we have rules of engagement, society expectations within our culture, and community standards that span many centuries. From the time that we began organizing into covens, families, creating havens and staking claims to territories, we created a series of expectations that govern polite Nightkind society. For the cultured predator it is a necessity that we remember ourselves and our lineages and always maintain appropriate behavior.



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In Regards to Entering the Haven of Another Coven/House



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Havens are those events, locations, rites, and gatherings that are hosted by a specific house or a grouping of houses. They may have two or three contributing houses but rarely more than that. These events take a great deal of time, energy, and effort and should be treated with the respect in which they were created. They are an offering to our community and should be accepted as such.



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Never enter into a rite, gathering, location, or event belonging to a specific group without first being invited. It is tremendously rude and may be considered hostile. Events and so forth that are hosted for the open community may be attended without an invitation. The host or hosts should always be greeted first and communications should be polite. In succession, each member of the hosting house should likewise be greeted in a similar manner beginning with the next highest ranking members and moving down the line of succession. Each member should always be treated with an equal amount of respect and titles should be used where permissible. Each member of your party should be introduced in kind to each member in order of rank. Chylder should always be introduced first, followed by the next highest ranking members.



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At the point of departure all parties should leave in the fashion that they arrived beginning with the members and thanking the host(s) last.



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In the event that a dispute should arise, do not settle it there. Nor should it be broadcast to the general public at a later date. All disputes should be handled within a reasonable time away from the haven and should include none other than the elder of each house, the next highest ranking member of each house, and the individuals involved. Those who were not directly involved in the dispute should not be involved at any point.



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In Regards to Entering the Territory(ies) of another Coven/House



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Territory is established with a ranking member of a coven begins a family in an area that has no other families. They may be a secret coven or an open one. In any event, these covens have ranking claim upon a territory. Their territory begins where they first laid claim and ends where other covens are established. Although they maintain ranking claim to the area, it is acceptable for other members of rank to also establish territory as long as their territory does not infringe upon the area of another. Territory includes:



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■House location and the point between one house and the establishment of another

■Havens

■Qabals

■Businesses or other established facilities belonging to the members or elders of the Houses

■Those who are members of or bonded to ranking members of the House ie wards, chylder, submissives, concubines, members, and others who are within their care or employ.

■Personal property of said House and members therein

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Upon entering a city always familiarize yourself with the local community, its members, covens, households, and families. Always be sure to introduce yourself in person, although emails are perfectly acceptable through a great distance. Be sure to establish yourself as either Ronin or your pledged Familiy.



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In Regards to Establishing Territory Among other Families



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Whereas it was once uncommon for more than three families to be within a given location over a distance of miles, often under the same umbrella territory (for instance House Sutekh, House Sukor, House Tiamat may form a confederation of territory as ....Leviathon.. ..Territory.....), it is now quite common for many houses to form in the same geographical location. When more than three houses are within an area they often form a tribunal, a system of settling disputes and dispensations of territory. They were formed from distinct coven members of high rank and held in check by a system of election, with one magistrar over the entire territory. If the territory or the covens were very large more than one could be elected. It was through them that territory was established, elders tested, and households and families formed.



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Establishing territory today is not so involved. One must simply be of rank to establish a coven, have a coven already established of no less than one to three years (depending upon the area), found to be of good and stable character and meet the approval of the elders within the established covens. In some cases the ranking members must also cast lots. It is considered hostile to establish a family within a territory of others. Elders within that territory must be approached and the petitioner must be established to be within qualifications (no community edicts or criminal background) to establish family units.



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Writs of intention, the written notice of the intent to establish territory must be presented to all recognized elders involved in that area. They must reach an agreement in order for that unit to become established. As with all things, Elders should be treated with respect and honor as they are called Elders for a reason. Always be respectful to them and honor their decisions. They do not make them rashly.



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In Regards to the Consideration of Kitra, Kitral, Chylder, and Wards



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Kitra are rarely accompanied to events without a Mradu. Kitra are held in very high regard irregardless of rank. Always maintain personal boundaries with them and do not approach them without first addressing their Mradu. To do otherwise could be considered hostile.



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Kitral are those that offer their services to us in one facet or another. They are our donors, those who aid us in ritual, and those that offer their life force to maintain ours. They are not property and it is VERY bad form to maltreat them. Be especially aware of the bonds between a kitral and their vampyre. Never expect to feed, ask to feed, engage them with the intentions to do otherwise, or treat them as less than human. They should be treated as a member of rank and their safety within havens should always be a priority.



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Chylder and wards are those that have a special bond to ranking members of the community. They are those that have been taken on as the term says, adopted as a child is adopted, taught, loved, mentored, protected. Wards and chylder may be viewed as an extension of their nightkind parents and teachers. They are never to be disrespected in any fashion. Disputes or complaints should be taken up with the elder, mentor , or syre. Never take a dispute to those under the guidance and protection of another member of the community. They should be handled discretely and within proper channels.



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■A chylde or ward belonging to Ronin member of rank should be addressed to that Ronin member, never to the ones beneath him or her. Households or covens not associated with that member of the community should never be brought into a personal dispute. It should be settled accordingly and timely.

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■A chylde or ward belonging to a ranking member or Elder of an established coven or house should never be addressed in a dispute. The syre or mentor should always be the one addressed. In the occasion that the syre is an not an Elder but is of correct rank to syre a chylde or establish a ward, mediation may be sought involving the house Elders.

■Wards or chylder should never be chastised in public nor should disputes be aired for public viewing. To do so is an act of direct hostility to the mentor or syre of the person involved.

■In the event that wards or chylder separate from their host, they should do so respectfully and with dignity to both parties. They should never involve other members of the community, other covens, or bring details of the separation to the public eye. Writs of protection and separation should be issued to the community with the intent to declare either relationship or disassociation. They should be done in proper and appropriate manner, never personal attacks.

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In Regards to Internet Disputes



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Unfortunately this is the age of online slander and it seems to happen voraciously among our kind. Before issues evolve to this state , all steps should be taken to mediate and settle disputes. In the event that issues can not be settled, appropriate behavior should always be utilized.



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■Public/Private forums. Disputes should never be aired across message boards or sent out as a public or private group message. They should be handled accordingly between the people involved or within a mediated scenario. This includes blogging, personal journals that are open to the public viewing or any viewing that is not singular in nature.

■Should a dispute occur between community members or the chylde, ward, or kitral of community members all attempts should be made to handle it peacefully and with respect to both parties in the same manner as any other type of dispute.