some of The Vampire Codex04:43 Dec 13 2005
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Awakenings
We are neither wholly born nor wholly made what we are. The choice for us to become was made long ago. From that time onward, we have been reborn again and again, carrying within us in every lifetime the seed of what we are.
Sometimes we forget ourselves, and wander our lives like sleepwalkers, only half-aware of our true natures. Yet sleeping or awakened, we are born with the potential for transformation.
Awakening is a process of expanded awareness. Anyone with gifts and talents of a subtle nature undergoes an awakening in their life. This is when they come into their own, finally accepting what has been latent within them since birth. For us, the process can be traumatic, as the existence we awaken to opens us up to a host of strange thoughts, sensations, and experiences which lie outside the limits accepted even by other Awakened.
Awakening is the alchemical forge in which we are transformed from dross to spiritual gold. It is the recalling of a part of our Selves that has become clouded over time. It is becoming more than the little self of this lifetime, grasping the totality of who we were and who we are to be -- our Essential Self.
Some of us have greater potential than others. Some are born with an instinctive understanding of their potential and they may gradually come to realize that potential on their own. They recall without prompting and their power is great.
The bulk of our number are born ignorant to what they are. As they grow and mature, there are subtle hints of the latent power, but fear and self-doubt generally keep these from being acknowledged and accepted. Such as these must be awakened to their true selves by another of our number already familiar to our ways.
There are two rituals of initiation. The Lesser Initiation is an exchange of feeding which occurs between the teacher and the initiate. The initiate is drained deeply, often for the first time. This heightens his awareness of his energy body and will often catalyze him into realizing his potential in the next few days. The sensations that this process inspires are usually too intense to ignore or explain away. If fed from deeply enough, his instincts will overcome him and he will feed from others in order to replenish his depleted system.
The Greater Initiation involves a ritual death and rebirth which occurs on both the physical and spiritual levels for the initiate. It is visionary and shamanic in nature and forces the initiate to face himself and all that he has been within the boundaries of his own soul. Like all deaths and rebirths, this ritual strips away old identities and assumptions. The little self of this lifetime is subsumed into the greater Self, and the initiate is irrevocably changed. This rite is reserved for only the strongest minds, for any who are weak or filled with fear may not survive the initiation. Their minds can be blown away like dry autumn leaves in the face of the totality of who they are.
Other Awakened
There are many beyond ourselves who have the potential for power. They also undergo a process like our Becoming which consists primarily of a expanded awareness and an awakening to their greater Self. This commonly occurs with the onset of puberty, although it may happen later or earlier, depending on nature and circumstance. These are commonly referred to as the Awakened. Their ways and their powers are diverse.
Like us, many of the Awakened follow a particular archetype. They use this archetype as a symbol to define themselves and their powers. They have a fundamental connection to the energy of this archetype, and although human in body, they are something more in spirit. Angels, witches, the Fey, Otherkin, Shifters, these are but a few of the archetypes that may be followed. Like ourselves, it may be that such individuals are responsible for inspiring much of the folklore that gave rise to the archetype in the first place and now, in a less spiritually open time, they have only the buried grains of truth lingering in the folklore to fall back upon to define themselves. Like us, they are human and Other. They are spiritual travelers who take up bodies as garments. We should always treat them with respect, for ultimately, we serve common goals.
You will be attracted to the Awakened in much the same manner that you are drawn to Potentials of our kind. Much is unspoken and unconscious. Trust that your greater Self is guiding you, for it knows and understands what may not always be accessible to your conscious mind.
Like ourselves, the Awakened can perceive and manipulate the many layers of reality. They call themselves by many names and they follow many diverse paths. Most of the Awakened draw their power from the positive, generative forces of reality. Thus, they may fear us when they first encounter us. This fear arises from ignorance. Though we are darkness and they are light, we all work toward the same goal. We each in our way bring awareness to the world, catalyzing those with potential toward Awakening.
When we come upon one who is verging upon Awakening, it is our duty to guide and instruct them. Do not mistake every Awakened being for a Potential of our kind. Nor should you attempt to push those not of our kind into accepting our ways and our arts. This way is not for everyone, and no one should ever be forced into following it. Be aware that some may resonate with more than one archetype, and these are the most difficult of all to identify and to educate. They may have much in common with us, but there will be limits to what we can explain and help them understand. In all cases, serve your function as a catalyst, helping them toward their path but not seeking to define that path for them. Ultimately, each person must walk their path alone.
Fledglings
You are responsible for teaching and guiding those of our kind whom you have awakened to their true natures. You must guide them through their transformation, helping to ease the transition from one level of awareness to the next.
Those who you guide in this way will be as your children and will share a deep bond with you like no other.
You will know their very heart and soul. The mysteries of their Essential Self will be unveiled to you. No distance will separate your awareness of them.
The link goes both ways, and they can communicate with you and know your feelings when they choose. You may use the link to feed from them at a distance, to borrow their strength as your own.
Their thoughts will be yours to know; their actions will fall under your control if you so choose -- but do not seek to abuse this power you wield over them for as dearly as they may love you and revere you while under your control, they will just as thoroughly hate and revile you once that control has slipped away.
The Beacon
Our kind has ways of recognizing its own. Often this recognition occurs on an unspoken level and is very subtle, so you must learn to trust your impulses and allow your greater Self to guide you.
Especially in the unawakened, this recognition manifests itself as a Beacon which calls us to them so that they may realize their Potential. The Beacon calls to us on a very basic level, and often speaks purely to our unconscious minds. Thus we find ourselves inexplicably attracted to a Potential, stricken with a sudden fascination for him and a need to draw him closer to us. If we listen to our perceptions and trust our instinctual reactions, we can refine this awareness of others until we can consciously pick out the Beacon in those around us. Sometimes, even after such a refinement has been achieved, the Beacon still slips past our conscious actions and we find ourselves simply responding to its unspoken pull. The pull of the Beacon drives us to feed from the Potential, thus awakening him to the most basic aspect of his hidden nature.
We must learn to recognize the Beacon in others, to judge its varying degrees of strength so that we may go about the awakening in a deliberate manner. We must learn to recognize when it is appropriate to awaken a Potential and when that awakening will bring only grief to all involved.
We must let our judgment rule us in this matter and we must sometimes resist the merely instinctual pull of the Beacon for awakenings that are not appropriate. Not all of those with Potential are fit for the awakening, and if we act rashly we may unwittingly loose the beast of our destruction through a careless move.
Characteristics
The Beacon is present to a limited degree in those who have already become. It is strong enough for us to recognize one of our number when we come into contact with him, even if this recognition is the barest hint of perception.
We may also be known by our distinct auras: deep purple sometimes shot through with red, surrounded by a nimbus of black or grey mist. The outer layer often stretches into tendrils that extend far beyond our physical forms, reaching out and feeding from those around us. To those who can perceive that level of reality, we often appear to be a nexus of such tendrils.
The tendrils are varying shades of grey, with a smooth, rope-like appearance. They are not perceptibly present in everyone; they can be filaments so fine even the most experienced seer will have difficulty perceiving them.
We are often noted for our pallor, but more often it is the intensity of our eyes which gives us away. We tend to be thin with a powerful and often intimidating presence which wraps about us like a shroud.
Our hands are often very cold. This is a cold which saps heat away, and lingers where it has been touched. It is a symptom of our constant, low-level energy draw. If we consciously channel energy through our hands, they grow very warm. It is not the temperature which is important: it is the responsiveness of our physical bodies to subtle effects that is distinctive.
We are sensitive to strong odors and tastes, as our senses are often acute. Many of us can hear in a more than normal human range. Some of this is physical hearing, some may be limited clairaudience, as our subtle senses extend far beyond our physical selves. We are almost always much stronger and quicker than we look, for the body is merely a vessel for a much more powerful Will.
We are sensitive to light and to the excessive heat of the sun. This is symptomatic of our acute sensitivity to energy. The radiation of the sun is an overwhelming form of energy which our systems have trouble assimilating. Many of us burn very easily in the sun. Almost all of us are made sick by it. When required to be out in full daylight, we develop headaches, nausea, dizziness. The light saps us of our strength, leaving us exhausted and drained. The night is our natural dominion, for in the mythic imagination, it is the realm of secrets, of magick, and all that the day-lit world rejects.
We carry ourselves with a proud determination and can seem arrogant, detached, and cold. We are often of a predatory nature, and with difficulty avoid using those around us.
To most we seem unapproachable. There is an air about us which seems somehow to set us apart. Even those ignorant to our true natures react to this, treating us with respect, attraction or fear.
The unawakened stare then look away from us and are unable to meet our gaze. They are disturbed by our presence but rarely will they understand what disturbed them or why. Instinctually, they fear us.
The Awakened will know us for what we are, though they may hesitate to put a name to it. Still, on an unspoken level they will understand and attempt to define us through the filters of their individual beliefs and symbol systems.
Children will know us, though rarely do they fear. In their innocence, they have not yet learned to doubt, and thus are open to a clear perception of the world around them.
Basic Feeding
We may gain what we need through feeding, drawing in life as we would breath.
When we are the center of attention of a whole group, we may feed upon the emotions of those around us as they are directed toward us. Those involved in the group are unlikely to notice the loss of energy, and oftentimes feeding in this way only increases their focus upon you.
This is an activity many Potentials engage in, though they do not often consciously understand what it is they do. This is one of the main reasons many Potentials are drawn toward the stage. Many become actors, storytellers, musicians or other performers so that they may achieve the kind of focused attention they crave.
For those who have Become, this is a pleasing activity, but rarely satisfies more than the most superficial of needs.
Even when a group is not focused upon us, we may feed generally upon them. No physical contact is necessary: we simply expand our awareness to encompass the group around us as if throwing out a net, or visualize ourselves at the center of a whirlpool, drawing everything in. Thus our energy extends beyond ourselves and, like embracing good friends, we pull bits of everyone about us into ourselves, breathing them deeply.
This is less satisfying than a focused group draw but can sustain us in a time of desperate need when no other option is available. Places with high energy and many emotions are preferable for this activity, and thus we are often drawn to dance halls and clubs. Once again, this manner of feeding is subtle and easily overlooked, and those being fed from are unlikely to notice the loss. High energy places often have enough ambient energy floating loosely in the atmosphere that you are truly taking little from any of the individual people there.
The two above techniques may be focused variably upon a single person for a slightly more intense effect. The individual in question does not have to be aware of your activities, and they do not even have to be close for you to feed from them. With concentration and focus, you can easily reach out across a room and draw off energy from a specific individual. At most, this person will feel a little tired from what you have taken, but most people are so desensitized to the subtle reality that they will pass this off as ordinary fatigue, stress, or too much drink.
Taking from unawakened individuals has its drawbacks, however. Certainly there are more of them, and they are far less likely to notice what you are doing than Awakened individuals. However, they are almost wholly ignorant to the energy that courses through them and they do little or nothing to cultivate this aspect of their spiritual selves, and so the quality of their energy is very poor.
Feeding from the Awakened is far more rewarding, as they cultivate their energy bodies, and so the quality of energy is purer and more intense. However, feeding without permission from the Awakened runs you the risk of getting caught. Many also perceive this as a psychic attack, and your actions will rarely be responded to kindly.
To this end, willing partners are the most advisable as they will not retaliate for anything which they consider an infringement on their person.. Having a willing partner who is Awakened is more fulfilling anyway, since the more feedback you receive from your targets, the more satisfying the drain, especially if they have some awareness of what is happening to them. It is like making love: the best partner is the one who responds to your touch, whose reactions guide you in increasing their experience of the exchange.
Single target, long-distance draws are convenient for establishing a connection to someone in order to draw them closer to you but before it is socially appropriate to engage in actual physical contact.
In general, energy coupled with some strong emotion is more fulfilling than simple energy alone. One of the most intense emotions we can feed upon is fear, but the negative repercussions associated with inspiring this emotion make it inadvisable to pursue. The next most intense emotion is passion or ecstasy, and this can be very fulfilling for both you and your partner. Any emotion that is transformative in its power and depth pleasantly satisfies our needs.
We may also feed upon energy gathered for religious purposes. This will sustain us in a time of need when no other sources are available, though often it is meager fare.
When people gather to worship, they generate a strong force of energy but few, if any of them, ever know how to properly direct it. Thus it curls up like smoke directionlessly through their place of worship or clings around those items which served as the foci for the group's attentions.
Whether we sit in on the actual worship or appear shortly thereafter, we may affect a general draw using the net technique which pulls the undirected energy into ourselves. The objects which were focused upon by the crowd can also be drained of the energy endowed in them, either from a distant, general draw or from the more direct drain of physical contact.
Many find such activities scandalous and unforgivable, but in truth the groups that can be preyed upon in this fashion have little awareness that they have been victimized and suffer not from our predations. The energy of their worship was undirected anyway and would dissipate eventually on its own, having served to benefit no one.
some of The Vampire Codex by Michelle Belanger
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