The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Another Blast from the Past
01:01 Sep 26 2005
Times Read: 966

This is part of a song I wrote while I was trying to get over my ex. Never really finished it, and it ended up being much more brutal then I ever intended. But it helped, a lot.



All these lies,

Have made me see

the person you've become.

I would have given you everything,

just to be with me,

All the things we could have done.



Goddamn this love that felt so real that I forgot who I was.

Goddamn the bitch that gave me a kiss and killed who she was.

Now she's as good as dead, in my head, and now I know who I am.

I'm alive and well, so hear me yell.... bitch, burn in hell



But now you're dead,

And now I'm free,

From the love that was tearing me apart.

You gave me ecstasy, and a dagger in the heart.

I could have sworn that I was dead,

as I watched your soul depart.

Another one from a few years ago.
00:52 Sep 26 2005
Times Read: 969




Drifting on a vast sea of emptiness, I feel as if I have nothing. Work, sleep, and whatever in between. My life is going nowhere. The list of people I can truly call friends grows ever smaller. I feel more and more distant with each passing day. I have only a few close friends, and noone to hold at night. Pills to keep me going, bud to clear my mind when it becomes too muddled with thoughts that I cannot sort out. Living in a world that grows ever colder and darker as the flames of individuality are extinguished one by one. We are becoming slaves to governments and corporations feuled by greed. I'm tired. Tired of life. Tired of being lonely. Tired of feeling like I'm going nowhere. And just plain tired of always being tired. Something is missing in my life, and I'm not sure exactly what it is. I hate the thought that I may need someone to be with, to give me something to live for, and to make me happy, but that may be it. And if that's the case, who the hell is the person I need to be with, and where the hell are they? Work has been my solace, but I'm gaining nothing to show for it. I'm not making enough to get by and diminish my debts by any reasonable amounts. Why the hell am I not content to just work and get by from day to day like so many others?Is it a blessing or a curse that I need something more in my life? I have a feeling that once I am able to find what I'm looking for, it's goign to change my life completely, for the better. But for now, it's driving me insane trying to figure out what it is I'm even looking for. Or maybe it's just a drastic change that I need? If so, do I need to change myself? Or do I need to change my life? Where I live? Who I hang out with? There's too many unanswered questions, too many open ends. I'm lost in the maze of my life, and I need a light to guide me to the right path. Or maybe just someone to travel throug the maze with.

Something I wrote a few years ago.
00:43 Sep 26 2005
Times Read: 972

I keep telling myself, "I have to do it." "I have to make it." But, what is "it?" All the little things I tell myself I must do to get ahead, seem to point me in no particular direction, and get me no closer to any major goals. Motivation really isn't the problem, I just have nothing to direct my motivation towards that has any real meaning to me. This is often percieved by others as laziness. A lot of these little things have little meaning to me in the long run, and I have grown to live for the moment. I live for the moment, to make myself happy for the present, because I don't know what else to live for. I don't know what to do with my life in the future, and until I know that, I cannot progress towards it.

If I am happy now, why isn't that good enough? I feel that everything will fall into place in time, and I will discover the path that will continue to make me happy. Or maybe I'm already on that path, and just cannot see the twists, turns, and changes that I will meet further down the road.Maybe I just have to keep going and change myself as the road before me changes. Maybe I just have to keep trying to stay on this path that I cannot see, except for the parts I have already traveled. The farther I go, the more the path behind me becomes clear, yet the path before me remains shrouded in darkness.

Project More or Less Completed.
03:56 Sep 24 2005
Times Read: 979




0 gauge wood eyelets carved from wild cherry.



I enjoyed making these, and I'm very pleased with the final product. I think more will definatley be in order.



Contemplating even making several pairs and taking them down the a little hippy store downtown, I know the owner fairly well, and he frequently purchases locally made jewelery and such to sell.

Smokage.
03:49 Sep 23 2005
Times Read: 998

This is really going to make me look like a pothead. I used to be. I still smoke, but on rare occasions.

I quit.
06:30 Sep 21 2005
Times Read: 1,004

Seriously this time. I really need to just quit.

I've been smoking for 6 years or so now. It's taken it's toll on my health, I get winded way too easily anymore, and it's just not good for me.

I don't regret starting. But all good things must come to an end eventually. This one sooner then others. I'm not buying another pack.

Up untill not even a year ago, they really didn't have a hold on me. From time to time, I'd put them down for a week or two just to see if I could. And it was never a problem.

I've made the decision to quit at least 3 or 4 other times so far this year. And never did completely.

Still, I don't get physical cravings. But the psychological addiction got real strong real quick.

I ran out of smokes the night before last, and was going to just not buy anymore. Then I had a really hectic day at work yesterday. And I found myself shaking. And thinking "I need a fucking cigarette." So I broke down and bought a pack. That's disgusting. I don't let things have that much of a hold on me. It has to stop. I've got 3 left in this pack. I'll have at least one, probably two more tonight before I go to bed. Probably one in the morning before work. And that's it.

Screw Einstein.
05:18 Sep 21 2005
Times Read: 1,006

It's not E=MC^2.



It's Life=fucked^3.

Alcohol.
22:50 Sep 16 2005
Times Read: 1,012

Well, I definatley didn't drink enough last night.

Wow.
06:12 Sep 16 2005
Times Read: 1,017

100mg of diphenhydramine hcl on top of 3/4 of a 1 liter bottle of Jager and 4 cans of Red Bull.



Damn.



I can't even move right.

Let alone think right.



I think I'm about to pass out.

Jager
05:01 Sep 16 2005
Times Read: 1,018

Do I possibly like Jager a bit too much?



I'm knocking back doubleshots of Jager, and chasing them with Jagerbombs made with about 6 shots of Jager per can of Red Bull.



Made it through 3/4 of a liter bottle so far tonight.



Last time I drank a 750ml bottle in one night resulted in the only time I've ever gotten sick or passed out from drinking.



Tonight I've spread it out over a bit longer period of time, but I'm still going to count it as breaking my record if I can finish a 1000ml bottle in one night.

Erased.
02:25 Sep 16 2005
Times Read: 1,025

There was an entry here. But I decided it really didn't need to get read by anyone. It didn't matter, and it won't change anything, and it was far more of a glimpse into myself then I should let people have.



So. Instead, I'll just say I'm happy, great, and all is well with the world.



So I'm going to go finish off the other half of my liter of Jager with this flying pig while we have a snowball fight in Satan's backyard.

Lmao.
23:30 Sep 07 2005
Times Read: 1,031

West Virginia State Residency Application



Name: ________________

(last)

(first) (_) Billy-Bob

(_) Billy-Joe

(_) Billy-Ray

(_) Billy-Sue

(_) Billy-Mae

(_) Billy-Jack

(Check appropriate box)

Age: ____

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right



CB Handle: _____________________



Occupation:

(_)Farmer

(_)Mechanic

(_)Hair Dresser

(_)Un-employed

(_)Coal Miner



Spouse's Name: __________________________



Relationship with spouse:

(_) Sister

(_) Brother

(_) Aunt

(_) Uncle

(_) Cousin

(_) Mother

(_) Father

(_) Son

(_) Daughter

(_) Pet



Number of children living in household: ___



Number that are yours: ___



Mother's Name: _______________________



Father's Name: _______________________

(If not sure, leave blank)



Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)



Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?

(Check appropriate box)



___ Total number of vehicles you own

___ Number of vehicles that still crank

___ Number of vehicles in front yard

___ Number of vehicles in back yard

___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks



___ Number of refrigerators on front porch



Firearms you own and where you keep them:

____ truck

____ bedroom

____ bathroom

____ kitchen

____ shed



Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__

Number of empty beer cans on floorboard or in bed of

pickup: _________



Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

(_)The National Enquirer

(_)The Globe

(_)TV Guide

(_)Soap Opera Digest

(_)Gun World



___ Number of times you've seen a UFO

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO



How often do you bathe:

(_)Weekly

(_)Monthly

(_)Holidays

(_)Not Applicable



Color of teeth:

(_)Yellow

(_)Brownish-Yellow

(_)Brown

(_)Black

(_)No teeth

(_)N/A



Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:

(_)Red-Man



How far is your home from a paved road?

(_)1 mile

(_)2 miles

(_)don't know

(_)can't get there from here



BUMPER STICKERS:

___ Eat more Possum

___ My other car is a piece of junk too

___ Honk if you love Jesus

___ If you ain't a cowboy, you ain't nothin'

___ Red-man Chewing Tobacco



Favorite Recreation: Check all that apply:

___ Square Dancin'

___ Possum Huntin'

___ Skinny Dippin'

___ Craw Daddin'

___ Gospel Singin'

___ 4-Wheelin'

___ Drankin'

___ Spittin' Backy ___ Bill Chip Trowin'

___ Honky Tonkin'

___ Noodlin'



# of Dogs: ___ Type: ___ Blue Tick ___ Beagle

___ Black & Tan ___ Bird Dawg



Cap Emblem: ___ John Deere ___ McCulloch Chain Saws

___ Budweiser ___ Vo-Tech

___ Skoal ___ Coors

___ NAPA ___ Smile if you're Not Wearing Underwear

Our little buddy at the house.
02:18 Sep 07 2005
Times Read: 1,033




Cute little guy, huh?



Ok, not really all that little.



Update: It's not a little guy, it's a girl. She laid a nifty little eggsac on her web the other day.

05:21 Sep 05 2005
Times Read: 1,039

Here in my car

I feel safest of all

I can lock all my doors

It's the only way to live

In cars





Here in my car

I can only receive

I can listen to you

It keeps me stable for days

In cars





Here in my car

The image breaks down

Will you visit me please

If I open my door

In cars



"Cars" - Fear Factory

Hahahahaha
00:58 Sep 05 2005
Times Read: 1,046

Deity eats her boogers.