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HAD TO SAY IT WAS A GOOD DAY01:37 Oct 26 2009
Times Read: 929
I think I just had the most awesomely lazy day.
I didn't do anything productive today, at all.
And it felt great.
IRON CHEF: BACON14:37 Oct 14 2009
Times Read: 976
I'm an awesome chef. No, really.
Ya know that low-fat, low-sodium turkey bacon they sell at the store? Yeah, the stuff that LOOKS like bacon. Sure, it's healthier than real pork bacon, but something about it just isn't right. It is made in such a way to fool you into thinking it's like the real thing, but it isn't. It's colored to look like bacon. And it's cut into uniform little bacon shapes. But it's not bacon. It's NOT bacon.
Not even close, dear reader.
Not. Even. Close.
It's not real bacon if you can cook it in the microwave without an explosion. Then there's the texture of it. Then, assuming you can tolerate THAT, there's the taste. I describe the flavor as crispy blandness with an aftertaste of baconesque smoke. That's if you're lucky.
But I digress.
As I was saying; I am an awesome chef. Even when handicapped with nothing but low-fat, low-sodium turkey bacon and liquid egg whites; I can create a work of art.
See, dear reader, the girlfriend and I are on a diet, and all the really good food has been replaced with -- shall we say -- counterfeit items. I won't tell you what passes for butter these days. Or milk. *kack*
This morning I made scrambled eggs and bacon and it was surprisingly good.
But I must confess, dear reader. Because, what good is a sin if you can't make a confession later? There's redemption in the confession. I need this.
See, when she wasn't looking, I cooked the turkey bacon in lard and covered it with salt.
And it was pretty awesome.
SNIFFLE22:03 Oct 13 2009
Times Read: 1,005
I lost a stalker this week.
This makes me sad.
Why, God, why?!?!
*sniffle*
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COMMENTS
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birra
05:30 Oct 26 2009
Should we start calling you Peter Gibbons?
madamefate
06:54 Oct 26 2009
oooo lazy thoth? Did you at least destroy a beer can??? Oh this is not good. Not good.
Sinora
11:50 Oct 26 2009
There is an art to doing nothing all day, I'm damn good at it myelf.
Fizbop
22:47 Oct 26 2009
I think we all need days like that.
ThothLestat
13:44 Oct 27 2009
I didn't even have to use my AK.