Top 20 unfortunate lessons girls will learn from Twilight.
This is going to sting.
heh heh heh
Excellent! They're closing our office early for the holiday here in the US. Awesome.
Just so you know, this is the first time they have EVER closed early the day before Thanksgiving. I really don't know what to do with myself when I get home. Drink a beer? Watch a movie? Re-grout the bathroom?
so many possibilities.
At any rate, I'm heading home to make a list of all the things I'm thankful for; having a job, friends, family, the fetching Ms Thoth, my assortment of little addictions, electricity, cold beer, spicy food, good posture, excellent teeth, a nervous system, bilateral symmetry, the moon, gravity, and dogs that revere me. I think that covers most of it.
Hmmm... beer...
Yes. I shall start with beer.
*turns off the light, grabs car keys*
*tail lights disappear*
COMMENTS
Woohoo! Lucky bastid, I gots another hour and I will crack one too ;)
Odds are, I will work all weekend too...
...so much for the freedom of self-employment.
oh come on, Birra... re-phrase that in the following format:
I am thankful that ________________________
Don't make me pick up my poking stick.
gigges oh right! I got the office to myself now! *drags out paints and glitter*
So now, you should stand up on the dining room table and declare "I rule!"
I hate Twitter.
HATE. IT.
And yes, I am on Twitter about once or twice a week to check the Twitters, the Tweets, and the Twits.
Or whatever.
And yes, I hate it. I hate every minute of it. For me it's worse than the dumb name -- it's the fact that you're limited to 140 characters. It's like trying to speak via Post-It notes*. I can't believe it has become as popular as it has.
You can't really communicate in 140 characters. All you can do is shout. It's like standing on a street corner and yelling "HEY! Check out this book I'm reading! Look at this thing I stepped in!" -- that's not communication. It's narcissism.
And it's scary.
For example. I thought a porn-star's life would be interesting. Until I read her tweets.
10:13am.... getting my nails done!
11:45am.... eating a steak sandwich!
1:29pm.... flying on a plane to Vegas!
6:33pm.... Now I'm going home.
Zzzzzz... ehhh... any random person is THIS interesting. I suppose that's her point.
And another thing: Chopping up words and sentences to fit 140 characters is rtrd3d. 4 reel, like.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, txt-spk is KILLING communication and written grammar. Killing them.
Twitter is just speeding up the process and making sure it includes as many people as possible.
And god help you if you have a link that takes up most of those 140 digits. Oh sure, you can convert it into a tinyurl, but still. What started off as a simple tweetworthy thing has just turned into work.
Then there's the tweet-hogs who blast me with 11 tweets in 5 minutes. Damn you. My entire wall is filled with YOU and your DAMNED Tweets. It's all about you you YOU. I find it VERY hard to believe that anyone has 11 important updates in 5 minutes.
and if you do that to me, you are SO de-Tweeted from my list. Hear me, Joe Biden?? Ya got that NASCARcupscene?!?
Consider thyself unfollowed!
*slams keyboard into wall*
And all of our clients are convinced they have to have a Twitter feed to communicate their "brand" or their advertising message to their customers.
Oh, really champ?
Yeah, 'cos that's all we need... tweets from Ronald McDonald, Chevrolet, the GEICO lizard, and Chester the Cheet-ohs Cheetah, telling us to trust them and buy their product. WTF??
It's not a communication tool, it's an epidemic.
It's stupidity on crack on steroids.
The fifth horse of the Apocalypse.
But, to me, the worst thing about Twitter is that it's completely useless.
There. I said it.
Useless.
p.s.
You can follow me at:
twiiter.com/ThothLestat
* Post-It &trade Notes are a fine, fine product. I intend no offense at them or the nice people at 3M.
COMMENTS
I really don't use Twitter at all. I tend to avoid it. If people have to update their twit every fucking 5 mins I don't care. Once a day is fine 3 times a day fine 5 times a day is fine too but not every fucking 5 mins.
I never had a use for twitter. I like my kismet better at least it's not very abused yet.
If you want me to use it I will but I'd probably forget to update it.
you can follow me on vampirerave.com/Fizbop
cool, let's do whatever we can to ruin Twitter.
Who's with me?
*grabs a pitchfork*
I've never had any interest in joining Twitter, or even acknowledging its existence. It just seems like it is co- OH NO, APPROACHING MY LIM
I haven't used mine in that long I am still sitting on a beach in Thailand..lol
I am waiting for some live news program to accidentally say "twat" during a Twitter story. It's gonna happen. I can't wait for it.
I hate the majority of sites like that. Facebook,Twitter,MySpace......some people might like it but, i get bored as hell with it all. lol
awww...someone beat me to it. i was going to tell ya you missed the "twats"
it makes people feel important. just like commenting on facebook. "i'm driving down the road" "i just went to the bathroom"
...and single handedly, Thoth invents Tweet Rage!
I HATE facebook...
Lady Gaga gets the nerd treatment:
Click here.
Nerds rule.
That's all there is to it.
COMMENTS
lol nice vid
Very spiffy vid. Thanks for sharing it Thoth.
Lol, really good voice and she has humour!
That was priceless!
Nerd rule.. that says it all.
Is that chick a Lesbian? Because...well...she should be!!!
What a cutie...*goes off to view her other vids*
I know, I know... I need to write something soon or I'll find myself unfriended. And de-stalked. Or I'll get harassing emails from Joli, threatening to poke me with a flaming pitchfork. (and she'd do it, too)
And my fan club is all like "Dude, Thoth, write something, you retard." Yeah, I know.
I'm gonna. Inna minnit, ma.
In a minute, I swear...
Um... Uh.... um....
*looks at note cards nervously*
I hope everyone had a rockin' Hallowe'eny. I am NEVER prepared for Halloween. EVER. And each year, I tell myself I'm going to get a kick-ass costume and carve pumpkins. And decorate the house and do all kinds of crazy shit. But I never do.
It's lame, but I dressed as a cowboy and handed out Halloween candy to the little tricka-treaters while quietly judging their costumes. After 8pm, the older suburban kids come out, and most of them don't even TRY to dress up.
One kid came wearing a Steelers hoody. That was his costume. A hoody. Fucking loser. Shitty candy for you, doofus. Here, have some Smarties and banana-flavored Laffy Taffy. EVERYone hates that crap. Have a ton of it.
Good thing I was drinking beer all night or I woulda said something coherent to him.
Plus -- we had lots of rain on Halloween night which kept a lot of the kids away. So, I have 3 bags of candy leftover. Good stuff too; Reese's cups, Snickers, and KitKats. All for me.
*rubs belly*
so good.
how was yours?
COMMENTS
Oh yay. This is like the, "What i did over summer break" assignment.
Well, i didn't go all out either. i had a picture of my cat yawning, so i carved that into a pumpkin and made her look all menacing. Pretty neat.
And, i love banana flavoured laffy taffy.
I too love the banana taffy!!
So, I'm the only one who hates banana Laffy Taffy?
Argh.
Banana laffy taffy is about as nasty a candy as you can get, with the exception of circus peanuts. Those are VILE.
no...NO! You all suck. THE loser candy is...candy freaking corn. Oh my god...what the hell is that crap? I would eat a whole box of Peeps before I would touch a piece of candy corn.
Take that back, Joli! TAKE IT BACK!
Candy corn is pure, sugary awesomeness.
laffy taffy freaking rocks!!! I love the banana flavor!!! pssst send me a bag a candy. I didn't get a whole lot. :(
I got free food and then got some drinks.
**sniffles** We must miss out on all the good junk food here...
Loves Laffy Taffy, hates the banana ones, too.
We live too far out in the country for trick or treaters-had a few drinks and watched scarey movies. (oh yea, candy corn sucks and the only thing circus peanuts are good for is putting all over the wedding car)
Your sweets sound lush!
Are sweets are pretty crap now...still I do like banana-flavored candy sweets.
Dressed as a cowboy? Scary!
I know, right? I used to dress up like Jason Voorhees or a zombie as I handed out candy to the kids, but they were usually too scared by the costume.
So, yeah. Cowboy.
With a gigantic, over-sized cowboy hat.
*bang bang*
I spent this Halloween ogling a new puter.. Next hallee VB and I are doing the House theme to the nines.. Candy Corn, never got into, lafy taffy.. any flavor but bannana..
COMMENTS
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chrysanthemia
17:49 Nov 28 2009
Hah. That's amusing--and somewhat true.
deathnitegrl
17:56 Nov 28 2009
hahah this is as much good as the 30 most disturbing Twilight Products.
deathnitegrl
18:07 Nov 28 2009
by the way that site is awesome!
ThothLestat
18:15 Nov 28 2009
there's TONS of funny stuff on it.
Like this.
voodoochile
18:55 Nov 28 2009
I think I saw that yesterday. I cut and pasted it to my daughter, but with some revisions to talk at a 13 y/o level. ;) Good find
Isis101
21:35 Nov 28 2009
Sadly...sooo true. A whole multitude of young girls basically training to become mindless abuse victims...
birra
22:05 Nov 28 2009
That... is outstanding.
Bijou
22:16 Nov 28 2009
LOL i love it
Lolita
23:13 Nov 28 2009
I read that as well... It is one of the best written articles of its type I have read in a while. VV funny.
madamefate
03:09 Nov 29 2009
lol. just remember if the vampire is sparkly..... :P
dabbler
23:25 Nov 29 2009
Oh No They Didn't!