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ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? 21:02 May 19 2010
Times Read: 747
I'm watching our Creative Department work on some ideas for "guerrilla marketing" that will involve the use of street teams this summer. Sounds fun, eh?
It isn't. I'm watching a group of very smart people come up with very bad ideas.
People wonder why I'm not on the "creative" side. I'll be honest with you, dear reader. It's because I have BAD ideas.
No really. It's well-documented.
But I have enough common sense to KNOW that they're bad ideas. And they're only bad because I have a pretty dry, "off-beat" sense of humor that doesn't work well with our current clients. Sometimes I'm sarcastic. Sometimes sardonic. Sometimes inappropriate. For example; there's no reason to make an insurance company "edgy" or to make a local bank appear exciting and "hip" -- regardless of how good their checking and savings plans are. No matter how low their rates are.
Well, I would try to do that hip, edgy, "viral-esque" approach, but only to make the point that it's ridiculous to market home & auto insurance or banking as if it were an energy drink or a mouthwash.
EXTREME COVERAGE!
RATES SO LOW, WE'RE CLINICALLY INSANE!
*explosion*
So, my ideas are bad, but they're bad for different reasons.
Back to the topic at hand...
So I'm in the meeting, but I'm sitting off to the side, nodding my head at the right things and generally keeping my mouth shut.
I'm watching them brainstorm ideas for this street team. The concept started off as actors in drab, nondescript gray suits & ties with bar-codes on their backs -- to appear like autonomous, impersonal generic salesmen.
That was the concept.
After several days of discussions and budget tweaks; the concept is now actors dressed in gray jumpsuits wearing ski masks.
Ski masks!
In the summer!
At an outdoor event!
I shit you not.
At this point, I rolled my chair closer and said:
Ski masks? Really? I mean, that's a little creepy at an outdoor music festival. Full of families. And country music fans. And you're going to have people running around in ski masks. Ski masks. Someone might get shot. Just sayin'
*dead silence*
I'm here to help, you bastards.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office working on spreadsheets.
IT DESERVED TO DIE22:17 May 04 2010
Times Read: 803
No, I did NOT just say "I think I killed the ice maker."
Er, rather -- am I under oath? -- Look, Your Honor, I refuse to incriminate myself. I may or may not have been the last person to see the ice maker alive. It was working when I left the office Friday night. The poor little bastard must have run and run and run -- all weekend -- until it was choked with frost. It's heartbreaking, I know.
*wipes a tear from my eye*
In my own defense, Judge, it sure LOOKED like the door was closed. It seemed obsessive-compulsive to check and re-check the freezer door each time I got ice for my soda. All day long. A normal person wouldn't do that; it's not reasonable.
Besides, I'm not the only one who uses ice around here. Enough with your ACCUSATIONS!
*shifty eyes*
I hereby withdraw my hasty confession!
Judge, I'll miss the ice maker. Really, I will. But to be honest, the ice always smelled funny. Nothing ruins a tall glass of Coke Zero faster than rotten ice.
Look, we may never know who killed the ice maker -- if indeed it was caused by my, er, by someONE'S actions or inattentiveness. Perhaps the ice maker deserved to die. Strong words, I know.
Perhaps it knew -- in its little fragile, plastic, mechanical heart -- it knew that it made terrible disappointing ice, and that it was unworthy to dwell a second longer in our presence. Who knows what really happened in those final moments?
We can only honor its sacrifice with a quick, and efficient replacement. As soon as possible.
Your Honor, I rest my case.
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COMMENTS
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birra
21:39 May 19 2010
Hey, hey! Spreadsheets are hip! Edgy! They're like the white iPod standing out from the monochrome silhouette.
Put a ski mask on your csv and run with it!
ThothLestat
21:42 May 19 2010
They have turned it into guerrilla marketing, literally.
PhoenicianDream
01:28 May 20 2010
Bad marketing campaigns send me running from companies. I still can't bring myself to quiznos even years later. I can't blame you for not wanting to be a part of the ski mask madness. Nothing says we want to rob your wallet like sales dudes in ski masks. Haha
ThothLestat
17:40 May 20 2010
we like the moon!
dabbler
18:32 May 20 2010
Phone call from security;
We have five subjects with ski mask down here."
Security Control; "That's ok, we have a memo here that says it is an Ad Team."
Security Patrol: " Now they have people at gun point, they sure are dedicated actors."
thanatoswhisper
02:33 May 21 2010
Nothing will get your attention faster than a hot day, a nice family picnic, an ice cold beverage and 5 men running around wearing ski masks and shouting in german. To me that spells out perfect! that would be a great coke cola ad lol lol
Theban
12:10 Jun 04 2010
I think you need to get out ot that weird place Thoth...look what it's turning you into!