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What's the point of saying "Everything on it, but no cucumbers, please." when ordering a sandwich? Seriously. What's the point if no one is listening?
I understand that some people love these damn things. I'm happy for such people. Really. I envy them. But cucumbers taste like freshly cut grass to me. (somehow I just know this, trust me)
*adds cucumbers to list of pet peeves*
No, it won't kill me to pull these damn things out of my sandwich myself. And yeah, I should probably pay attention while they're assembling my turkey-on-wheat to make sure they're following a simple request. But you'd think that a specification like "no cucumbers, please" would be pretty easy to follow without close supervision.
Crazy, I know.
If this is the worst thing that I have to endure today, then I truly live a charmed life. It's petty, and I know it is. But still. ICK to the ICK.
Hypothetically speaking, had we been graced closer geographical proximity, the purpose of this abomination would merely be to pick them out to give to me...
It is just not the same unless it has been picked out of anothers sandwich...oh the joys of unexpected intimacies with friends.
If that were the case, I would order EXTRA cucumbers & let you take them out of my sandwich, and then I'd watch as you patiently wiped the mustard off them.
Yes, pay attention to what they're doing. If you're putting everything but something on, you go through everything like habit, and might miss the "but."
And go easy--not everyone can be a perfect sandwich artist like me. Brushes off shoulder.
Oh hell. Alcohol makes some people, quiet, some too talkative, some give away money or just buy everyone drinks, and now... makes some people put hammers up their butts.
I thought this was going to be a video of him doing it like the one (then stikki, now trikki) did about the glass jar breaking inside that guy...lol. Glad it was not, that still give me nightmares.
I need to not eat while reading your journal. WC started in with the jokes of being ass hammered and ass pounded... and my monitor almost got a good coating of cheerios.
Why a hammer? Well at least he didn't use draino to remove the clog.
I think the story got so popular it melted their server. It's the story of a dutch man who felt constipated, ate a lot of cherries, and drank some alcohol, and then -- because he still felt constipated -- shoved two hammers up his rectum.
The only picture shown is a pic of the x-ray which shows two hammers surrounded by internal organs.
And I just thought it was me who had an over protective mother.
She's been known to ring 6 times in the space of 30 mins AND leave voice mail each time. Then she rings my mobile, and my husband's mobile and leaves more messages. Then she lectures me for not ringing her back sooner!!
Lash your self to a cleat with a double Matthew Walker. This should ensure your keeping out of Davy Jone's locker. You may also want to ask Audrey to make you some port and starboard pants. Don't make the boatswain get the cat out of the bag.
People pay good money to have stuff like that removed don't they? I've heard of things like that... just not in those locations. I tend to think of myself as kind of an open person but I'm not sure I could talk to a guy with a donut boob job on his forehead.
If people will pay good money to have that done, and then pay good money to have it removed, SURELY they will allow me to talk them out of it for 1/2 the price.
COMMENTS
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Joli
19:33 Jul 31 2009
Thank you for demonstrating with cucumbers how I feel when people ask, "Can't you just pick the meat out?"
No. No, I can't because now it has cross-pollinated. Bastards.
JackofSpades83
20:25 Jul 31 2009
Pickles are one thing but cucumbers are a different story altogether.
Stick to banana peppers instead ;)
ThothLestat
20:36 Jul 31 2009
oh yeah... that and jalapenos.
(it was delicious, btw, even if it did have a slight cucumbery aura to it)
AlexandraAshes
03:54 Aug 01 2009
Hypothetically speaking, had we been graced closer geographical proximity, the purpose of this abomination would merely be to pick them out to give to me...
It is just not the same unless it has been picked out of anothers sandwich...oh the joys of unexpected intimacies with friends.
ThothLestat
14:57 Aug 01 2009
If that were the case, I would order EXTRA cucumbers & let you take them out of my sandwich, and then I'd watch as you patiently wiped the mustard off them.
XLostAngelX
14:35 Aug 02 2009
Cucumbers are freakin nasty..
And thank you, you just totally made my morning, lol. I love waking up to a random rant about Subway (EAT FRESH!)
This is exactly why I stick to normal sandwhiches at home..this way I know EXACTLY what to put on it, and nothing else!
Theban
19:40 Aug 04 2009
OMG....I love them, more than picking my nose ^^
(I am keeping this clean...I could of said arse...oops!)
They do have a slight grass taste, however one will find that they are a refined taste.
Peasant ; )
chrysanthemia
23:27 Aug 04 2009
Yes, pay attention to what they're doing. If you're putting everything but something on, you go through everything like habit, and might miss the "but."
And go easy--not everyone can be a perfect sandwich artist like me. Brushes off shoulder.
AudreyMathildaTruin
07:22 Aug 06 2009
Cucumbers are NOT food and you ate a contaminated sandwich.
Lolita
13:31 Aug 06 2009
I hate when that happens............but Thoth... CUCUMBERS ARE THE SHIT.