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insomnia again.



it's been a busy week at work. real busy. crazy busy. so busy that my mind won't let go of things. so i keep thinking about it. over and over. it's a perpetual motion machine in my head.



but i digress.

by friday i will have all of my projects done and then i'll have 2 weeks off. i've been so busy i haven't come to VR in a while. now i'm logged in but it feels different. familiar and different at the same time. some people that i liked have disappeared. i miss their journals. i miss their funny comments. i wonder what happened. it's as if they never existed.



** long pause **



it will be nice to get some time off. I want to sit by a fire and read a book. or two. or a million. but with all the holiday plans it probably won't happen.



shit..i gotta get some sleep.

the worst thing about insomnia is the restlessness.



that, and the diminished sense of satisfaction.

i am simultaneously agitated & bored.

vigilant, and apathetic.

neither awake, nor dreaming.

i can't focus on anything -- and i don't want to.

nothing pleases me -- and i don't care.



fuck.

i need to get some sleep.

i often have this recurring dream that i am alone in a ruined city & i must fight my through dusty rubble-filled streets full of zombies until i reach some unknown destination.



but last night, i wasn't alone.

for some reason Steve Buscemi was with me.

and we battled zombies together, armed only with a couple of broken 2x4s and an endless supply of wisecracks.



it might have been the strangest & funniest dream i have ever had.