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Iam so aggrivated with myself. I have to earn the trust of someone very dear to me and I am just impatient with myself. I don't know how to act some times. I am being me.....but I guess I worry that 'me' might not be good enough......

I just need to get this out of my head. You know me, things bounce around my brain untill I get it out on paper .....errr puter....lol

Not really looking for answers......just venting. things are fantastic for the most part.



An exboyfriend won't stop calling. He left a cd in my car and wants it back. I finally returned his call to get it to him but the time wasn't convient for him........well fuck him. I don't care about the fucking cd or him. I just want him to leave me alone. I love my life right now and I need any one screwing it up.

I don't even know where to start or what to say....

I have a new love in my life and I couldn't be happier.......wellllllllllll

I am trying to be patient. He says he is slow and wants to take his time with our relationship. I told him to take all the time he needs. I fall in love with him a little more every day. But, I also find myself feeling ....shit I don't know ......can't find the word or words.

I don't get to see him much. Maybe 2 x a week. I feel greedy I guess......I want more. I want to see him all the time.

I find myself freaking day dreaming about just living life with him. Doing chores. Mowing the lawn or cleaning house. Cooking..reading dang just everything...

I really didn't think I wanted that with anyone but he makes me feel so good and so alive.



I don't want to run him off by asking to see him more. I have been more or less at his convienence....... I treasure any time I get with him since I don't know when the next time will be....



You know what.....every time he calls or I see him I still get butterflies in my tummy and my hands sweat.



Eh.......I just needed to spit that out and get it out of my head.



I have been fending off all the what ifs.....

I guess I just need to relax a bit and chill......

mmmm I think I will go have a glass of wine

:P

COMMENTS

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BLOODLIFE
08:07 Aug 01 2008

You go girl ... WOOOO HOOO.

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