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TheNewPower's Journal

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12 entries this month
 

Not That Good Then ?

18:06 Dec 24 2012
Times Read: 573




A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They go back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher. Huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.



The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by this evidence of his sensitive side!



She turns to him, invitingly... they kiss...and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After she has this intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, and they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it for you?"



The guy yawns: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

COMMENTS

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vampyrebeauty
vampyrebeauty
18:20 Dec 24 2012

Buahahahahahah!!





LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
18:58 Dec 24 2012

LMAO!!!





Isis101
Isis101
02:38 Dec 25 2012

OMG - that's so messed up - LMAO!





dabbler
dabbler
18:05 Jul 13 2013

As a onetime Carney, I find that to be hilarious!





 

'twas The Night Before Christmas ;)

01:05 Dec 24 2012
Times Read: 580


For Isis101 sorry you stumbled across a personal but I sure hope this makes up for it ;)









24th December 2012





‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through our house

was blasting the “St. Vitus Dance” by Bauhaus;

Torn fishnets were draped on my forearms with care,

And two cans of Aquanet applied to my hair;

My thoughts were of graveyards, and horror and dread,

Black visions of pain and despair in my head;

And Bianca, whose face was as pale as the moon,

Had thrown up her arm for this evening’s swoon,

When out by the gravestones there came such a clatter,

I sprang from the coffin to find out the matter.



Away to the window I flew like a ghost,

Expecting to find a dark devilish host.

The moon on the breast of the uncaring snow

Threw ominous shadows on objects below,

When, before my tormented eyes did traverse,

But a gorgeous black Crane & Breed carved-panel hearse,

With a gaunt, shrouded driver, who filled me with fear,

And eight skeletal creatures that might have been deer.

More rapid than vultures his coursers they came,

And his deep Andrew Eldritch voice called them by name;





Now, Murphy! Now, Morgoth! Now, Torment and Woe!

On, Dreadful! On, Lovecraft! Mephisto and Poe!

To the top of the gravestones where fog wisps its breath!

With a weight on my soul I consign you to death!





As dead leaves that before hellish hurricanes fly,

When they flutter like giant bats’ wings to the sky,

So up to the crypt-top the coursers they leapt,

While dearest Bianca, like death, still but slept.

And then, to my horror, I heard on the roof

The clicking and scratching of each bone-white hoof.

As I drew in my arm, and was whirling around,

Down the ebony chimney he came without sound.





He was clad all in black, and he looked oh-so-goth,

A billowy ensemble of crushed velvet cloth;

His boots were knee-high, quite buckled and zipped,

And the Spandex and fishnets ‘round his legs were ripped.

His eyes glowed with bluish fire, deathly and cold,

A black eye-liner’d face neither youthful nor old.

A broad lipless mouth drawn with torment and hurt,

And his sorrowful face was as white as my shirt.





A smoldering cigarette tight in his grasp,

Its smoke curling eerily ‘round his cloak clasp;

His gaunt frame was topped with long ebon hair,

And a sharp scent of brimstone and cloves choked the air.

His arms were outspread in the shape of a cross,

And I quailed when I saw him, feeling sorrow and loss;

He narrowed his eyes with a twist of his head,

And I felt the full weight of his angst and dread.





He spoke not a word, but went straight to his task,

Left some Dead Can Dance CD’s; before I could ask,

A single tear fell across his aquiline nose,

And then, like an angel, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his hearse, to his team he then hissed,

And away they all drifted like early dawn’s mist.

But I heard him intone, ere he vanished from sight,

“Gothic Christmas to all, and to all a good fright!”



With somber and tormented apologies to Clement C. Moore





COMMENTS

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Isis101
Isis101
02:40 Dec 25 2012

I apologize for stumbling in on your secret stuff...lol!

Anyway - I love this - thanks for sharing it. It is funny AND cool!





 

Will They Laugh or Cry ? :D

05:35 Dec 20 2012
Times Read: 612


Here on VR we are used to more than our fair share of idiots and dimwits , so I thought ... mmmm ...



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COMMENTS

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ladySnowStrixx
ladySnowStrixx
17:37 Dec 21 2012

dang, wanted to see this but its not working





CryingMist
CryingMist
21:10 Dec 24 2012

lol good one lolll





 

Not Asking For Much ;) ?

02:11 Dec 20 2012
Times Read: 629


Well ... it's finally come to me ... what I have been deciding on all year ... what does the Goth that has everything want from Satan Claws this year ?



This will do me just fine :D



Real Vampires love Vampire Rave

COMMENTS

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How To Tell The Sex Of A Bird ;)

15:36 Dec 17 2012
Times Read: 660






This Is AMAZING!!!



Until now I never fully understood how to tell The difference Between Male and Female Birds.

I always thought it had to be determined surgically. Until Now.



Below are Two Birds Study them closely...See If You Can

Spot Which of The Two Is The Female.

It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills.







Real Vampires love Vampire Rave

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
15:55 Dec 17 2012

LMFAO!!!!!!





tr1n1ty01
tr1n1ty01
16:54 Dec 17 2012

HA!!!! I am an avid birdwatcher and that is NOT valid...lol Actually the MALE birds are much more vocal! LMAO!





Isis101
Isis101
22:35 Dec 17 2012

Ooookay...lol!





OrchiD
OrchiD
12:31 Dec 18 2012

Well I'm the the one tipping my beak and ignoring your ass:P





queenofchaos
queenofchaos
05:15 Dec 20 2012

Haha!





 

Merry Xmas To All You ...

10:57 Dec 15 2012
Times Read: 694


We all know VR is full of weirdos , perverts , people with bizarre fetishes & proud not to fit into the 'normal' of society ... Merry Christmas to all ... you make this place the wonderful site it is :D



Real Vampires love Vampire Rave

COMMENTS

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deringerdan
deringerdan
11:07 Dec 15 2012

You can say that again :)





supernova
supernova
14:12 Dec 15 2012

I'll be Your pervert:P





LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
15:02 Dec 15 2012

I fall in the perv category. :)

Viva La Boobies!!!





 

I Guess Religion pays ? ;)

23:20 Dec 13 2012
Times Read: 713






Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50. "The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100. "The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money! "

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
01:55 Dec 14 2012

lol





Isis101
Isis101
04:14 Dec 14 2012

LOL!





 

Getting into the festive spirit :) ?

17:29 Dec 13 2012
Times Read: 719



COMMENTS

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Tis The Season To Be ....

17:33 Dec 12 2012
Times Read: 744




A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem? "The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings. "The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant -about 4 months would be my guess. "The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla? "Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man! "The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor? "The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time! "

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
19:08 Dec 12 2012

LOL!





BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
20:12 Dec 12 2012

lol, very seasonal!





Isis101
Isis101
04:15 Dec 14 2012

OMG - LOL! I love this one!





 

You gotta love blondes :P

13:21 Dec 11 2012
Times Read: 755






A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor! " The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee! "

COMMENTS

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BLOODLIFE
BLOODLIFE
15:53 Dec 11 2012

lol, oh dear!!





LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
19:06 Dec 12 2012

smh





 

Kids ... You gotta love 'em !!

17:36 Dec 09 2012
Times Read: 771




A 5yr old boy & his grandpa are sitting on the porch together, when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler. The lil boy asks: "Can I have a beer grandpa?" Grandpa replies: "Can your pecker touch your ass, son?" The lil boy answered "No grandpa. It's just a lil pecker" Gramps says: "Well your not man enough to have a beer boy" A lil while later grandpa light's up a cigar. The lil boy asks: "Can I have a cigar grandpa?" Once again grandpa asks "Can your pecker touch your ass, son?" Once again the lil boy replies "No, it's too little" Gramps replies "Then your not man enough to have a cigar" A lil later the lil boy comes out of the house with milk & some cookies. Grandpa asks, "Hey there young fella, can I have a cookie?" The boy asks "Can your pecker touch your ass? Gramps replies, "Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass!" The lil boy replies, "Then go fuck yourself, grandpa".

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
19:05 Dec 12 2012

LOL!





 

VR is full of them ;)

12:58 Dec 08 2012
Times Read: 816


Here on VR we are used to Assholes and people talking shit ... whatever level or position they hold ... this one goes out to them.









Real Vampires love Vampire Rave

COMMENTS

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VenusFire
VenusFire
13:12 Dec 08 2012

LOL! Great sentiment.





deringerdan
deringerdan
13:16 Dec 08 2012

So very true but the worst part is most of them dont even recognize it :)





Oceanne
Oceanne
17:28 Dec 08 2012

HAH! Oh HELL...





Isis101
Isis101
03:18 Dec 09 2012

LOL!

I love it!








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