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A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They go back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher. Huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by this evidence of his sensitive side!
She turns to him, invitingly... they kiss...and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love. After she has this intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, and they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it for you?"
The guy yawns: "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
Well ... it's finally come to me ... what I have been deciding on all year ... what does the Goth that has everything want from Satan Claws this year ?
We all know VR is full of weirdos , perverts , people with bizarre fetishes & proud not to fit into the 'normal' of society ... Merry Christmas to all ... you make this place the wonderful site it is :D
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50. "The second boy says, "That's nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $100. "The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money! "
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem? "The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings. "The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant -about 4 months would be my guess. "The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla? "Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man! "The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor? "The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time! "
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor! " The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee! "
A 5yr old boy & his grandpa are sitting on the porch together, when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler. The lil boy asks: "Can I have a beer grandpa?" Grandpa replies: "Can your pecker touch your ass, son?" The lil boy answered "No grandpa. It's just a lil pecker" Gramps says: "Well your not man enough to have a beer boy" A lil while later grandpa light's up a cigar. The lil boy asks: "Can I have a cigar grandpa?" Once again grandpa asks "Can your pecker touch your ass, son?" Once again the lil boy replies "No, it's too little" Gramps replies "Then your not man enough to have a cigar" A lil later the lil boy comes out of the house with milk & some cookies. Grandpa asks, "Hey there young fella, can I have a cookie?" The boy asks "Can your pecker touch your ass? Gramps replies, "Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass!" The lil boy replies, "Then go fuck yourself, grandpa".
COMMENTS
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vampyrebeauty
18:20 Dec 24 2012
Buahahahahahah!!
LORDMOGY
18:58 Dec 24 2012
LMAO!!!
Isis101
02:38 Dec 25 2012
OMG - that's so messed up - LMAO!
dabbler
18:05 Jul 13 2013
As a onetime Carney, I find that to be hilarious!