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we broke up, because i didnt want to share out relationship bed anymore and started sleeping on the trundle mattress on the floor in our daughters room i have lost all right to sleep in my queen bed i bought. you seem to think cause our daughter is a daddys girl that i dont do enough or spend enough time with our daughter for her to like me as much there for i am a shit mother.



awesome, thanks so much for this plan, 8 more months under the same roof together this is a great fucking start, just cut me down as a person and throw each piece to the wind to rot slowly.



ive gotten off my ass and gotten a job possibly two if i play my cards right, man you better believe that moneys gunna come in handy when i fucking leave!

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Angelus
23:29 Jan 15 2016

best of luck, to You.



be your Self.

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feeling really torn on what i should do. So much is going on and i just need someone i can sit down and talk to and tell whats going on to. i know now is not really the time to be making decisions but something needs to be done im going insane just twiddling my thumbs.



mums not doing very well (she hasnt been since she lost dad 10yrs ago) but its getting to the point where she is going ot need a carer sooner rather then later.



i broke up with my partner 3weeks ago now and we are co living in the same house, i own everything including the queen bed HE is sleeping on while i sleep on the trundle matress in the babys room.



i just yesterday picked up a bit of casual work doing hairdressing which im trained in and the possibility of becoming a body piercer has arose which i have applied for and am waiting to hear if i got or not.



ive made some friends recently here which ive had a lot of trouble doing so i dont feel as alone here as i was before which is really nice its a shame they are 4 hrs away i really want to go visit them. but dont really know how to address that just yet.



*sigh* its all so much for me to process right now :(

A step forward after so many backwards!



ive taken a step towards my dream of becoming a body piercer! ive applied for the opportunity to train to become a body piercer with the prospects of a job with the shop afterwards! ive wants to do body piercing for so many years this is excellent!!!! its going to cost a pretty penny $2000 but normally this amount of training is $5000. i learn All body piercing including genital piercings and i get free piercings in store i just pay cost price for my jewellery as i need a specific metal! AHHHHH!!!! I NEED THIS! i should find out Tuesday/Wednesday next week if im successful!



Wish me luck!

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Liliancat
12:38 Jan 12 2016

Good luck sweetie!!

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Dubhryn
06:01 Jan 15 2016

Good luck! :)

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And now the waiting game begins. just a matter of days to weeks to months before i know when i can leave and leave i must. I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities here for me yet but so far all have been fruitless and home calls with responsibility knocking at the door.



My mother, bless her is 67 this year and is not in the best shape and has called me home to be her carer. shes willing to compromise with me so i can live there full time and still have a life and a family but only time will tell how it goes i may have to put my life on hold for a while till i can get her on the right path. im not saying i will change her but guide her and hopefully help her health improve.



is it possible to date and meet people while living at home with your mother as a full time carer? i guess time will tell... NOT THAT IM LOOKING!!!!!! lets just stress that a bit lol ive only been single 3 weeks now im in NO RUSH for love.



gotta focus on what i need to do this year,



raise my daughter the best i can

Surgery

save money

improve mine and my mothers health

get a car

and learn to love myself a little more.

Thing have escalated.



I'm again and officially a single mother.



I need to move home with my daughter 4 states away



My mother who i will be staying with is not well



I have to leave everything i own except for a suitcase worth behind



and its all my fault...



I picked fights, I was the problem, I couldn't be normal...



i don't know if its a bipolar mood that generated this depressed feeling or if i actually truly feel depressed over everything that has happened up until tonight i have been fine but perhaps that's was a level of shock. im so cold now, physically cold nothing, not even this jacket can warm me. i have my plan so i can leave and its just a matter of time before i do but i feel like a monster, i feel horrible i feel like I am ruining lives here!

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SLEEPERKING30
10:02 Jan 06 2016

some people do not have it takes to stick it out for someone else.

do not take all the blame

it takes two to tango

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moonkissed
10:56 Jan 06 2016

I feel compassion. I do not know the whole story, it is none of my businss.

Focus on your priorities; mom and daughter. Try to not feel too down.

Keep busy, sleep enough and do not miss any meals if possible.

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CountessCortez
21:12 Jan 06 2016

*hugs* you're strong and beautiful chick, you'll get through this and continue being an amazing mom. Mental illness is hard and yes, it breaks relationships but it's not your fault. Never think it's your fault. If you haven't already, try and see a professional who will be able to help you through the worst parts. Love you xx

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