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I give up...

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xMurderMyLovex
15:26 Dec 19 2014

I'm here if you ever need to talk. NOTHING in this life or the next is worth giving up over. :)

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What might have been



I have gone through alot of things in my life, friends, jobs, loves, dislikes, tragedy and pleasures. I am not sad at how my life has been to this point, if anything had changed, I might not have my Alexis, or those close friends and family I have. At times, I start to think back to years ago, what would have happened if..... The people that have known me longest that can read this are Mandy and Steph. Alot of you know that I do not have regrets and that is something that makes me me. A long time ago, I gave my heart away to someone who did not want it. Not a day has gone by since then that I have not thought about her, even for the years when we did not speak at all. I sat awake last night thinking about this. I just started wondering what might have happened if she had said yes, would I be the person I am now... no. Would I like the person I was instead, maybe. How is it we can want so bad something that would have kept us from being who we are today. If her answer would have been different, I would not have my daughter, I would not have any of the friends that I call brothers now, hell I wouldn't even have Waybe, and as much as the little fucker pisses me off from time to time, I could not imagine my life without him... I have been to many places and seen many things, if I would have had her at my side, those journeys would not have happened. Hell, I wouldn't even have my art. But since I travel and draw and do my digital art in a search for happiness, would I even need to do that, if I were happy with her by my side now... My journey is far from over and noone knows what tomorrow holds, maybe with time she will realize she still has my heart, and hopefully she knows I want her to keep it. I have rambled on for too long now. Namaste'.

Forgotten Dreams....





He lay there propped on his arm, feeling it tremble as he looked into her eyes her glowing blue orbs the source of his happiness and dreams for now on ten years. The moment he saw her again after all the time had passed, it all came rushing back to him, the feelings he had buried all those years ago. In this moment as his pulse quickened and his heart dropped he realized it was truly meant to be. He thought about everything going on and carefully weighed his options in his head. He could lay there and continue holding her loving the way she felt in his arms, or he could do as his heart wanted and pull her down to him letting her beautiful crimson smile touch his in a long awaited embrace. He thinks back to what has brought them here and now and quickly remembers who he is and how they feel about each other. He let out a heavy sigh as he sat up wrapping his arm around her small frame. He looked deep in her eyes smiling leaning his forehead against hers as she whispered, “What are you thinking?” without a thought his eyes closed as he whispered back “You know what I’m thinking.” She repeated no three times to which he responded, “okay” with a kiss on her cheek each time. He leaned back gazing deeply into her eyes lovingly, looking for a sign that he had not offended her or pressured her too far. She smiled then looked down as he leaned in kissing lightly on each side of her lips then gently on the lips themselves. He felt his heart explode with joy he did not know was possible as the one thing he had always wanted came into fruition. Reluctantly they pulled away both smiling as they continued to hug each other loving the feel of the other in their arms. Staying there for a few moments hoping his heart would calm knowing it would never do so, he leaned in and kissed her again making sure he would forever remember what it was to have her lips against his as his heart beat even faster and harder. He smiles to himself as they break the kiss knowing this is the happiest he has ever felt.