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I always enjoy saving a life. Today that life was mine. While doing paper work, I noticed I had already gotten a shot I didn't need. Sorted everything out and I'm alive.
I have 3 drawings to do. One for a vr member. :) Remember, anyone is welcome to ask me to draw them or their pet. I'd love to make a new public page about it.
I haven't gotten any bites yet. But enough about that.
Someone who had a bad year was very happy to receive the portrait of their dog. To make others happy makes me happy. I don't know them personally. It was a commission of sorts that I did for free for future family, to a friend. If that sentence makes sense. It brings me such joy knowing they enjoyed it. :)
“ the future hasn’t happened, the past will never be different…now is now is now. and in now, without the baggage of the past or the anxiety-bombs of the future, we can see clear and love large. ”
—
The wise and wonderful Amanda Palmer addresses regret, the art of asking, and much more in a fantastic Reddit AMA
I'm working on drawings of selfies for people to gift online as holiday gifts. Even if it's a gift to yourself, or your pet, would anyone be interested? I'm not good with a Christmas card list. I always somehow forget. :)
As I write this, I feel judging eyes scroll across my entry like being stabbed by butter knives but it's the truth. To put it bluntly. The Saturday before I had taken my journey to my new life here, I had a big breakdown.
The psychologist was supposed to help me. I had been waiting months. I was overwhelmed. Overworked. Paid little, ripped off by one place, which I quit from. And jerked around by which felt like everyone.
I opened up my mouth about how I'm moving and she said she couldn't help me. My mood flipped its switch. Quiet. She could tell. I carry my feelings on my face. "Is it because I won't give you medicine?" Pride swept me. I don't need your help. I-I... "No. It's because my friend died. And I had a hard week with the guy who flaked out on taking my job and..." *Gets choked up* *Looks to the ceiling * I'm just trying to control my anxiety.
She picked on me."So you're setting down! I'm happy for you! Going to start a family? Get pregnant?" Ugh... She wouldn't help me because she thinks wanting to get married means getting fucked and pregnant right away... Now I'm going to suffer... "No. I'm going to keep up with my career as an artist. I'm not going to get knocked up yet. "
She thought that I'd want to go to art school. I laughed. This bitch is a moron. I'm better than art school.
There's even more to the conversation but you don't need the details. I was dismissed there, crying. She couldn't give a fuck. I didn't know what I wanted.
I read my tattoo artist was in town but i wanted to hang out at the pier. I walked to Coney. I hang out at the brewery getting drunk out of my mind. Two beers... Yeah. I'm weak and stupid. But i hadn't eaten besides a coffee. I never made it to the peir.
They were playing my music, queens of the stone age, gorillaz, nirvana, grunge, etc. It was paradise. And i could talk art.
But i was so distressed.
I was texting him. All i could remember was "FUCK THE SYSTEM!",and ending each sentence with, "Mate". What was on my mind lol, did i think i took a trip to Australia? Haha
I'm so lucky to be with him. He told me to go home and i did.
I got an e mail after the holidays from a person from the brewery to draw their co-worker for Christmas. :)
And yesterday i went to a store up here that sold vegemite. :D I had it on toast this morning. He hated it. I liked it. Better than marmite.
I'm glad things are looking up. It's hard enough dealing with life, and mental health issues, without someone treating you like they don't care, especially when that's supposed to be their job. And people wonder why more people don't seek help when they have a problem. Ugh. I hope things continue to get better for you, Rose.
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