The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

ONCE UPON A TIME IN HAPPY LAND THERE WAS A SQUIRREL. HIS NAME WAS BILL. NOW BILL THE SQUIRREL HAD A SMALL, DIRTY, OVERPRICED CAFE OF SORTS. AND EVERYDAY BILL WOULD GO TO WORK AND PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. PEOPLE THOUGHT BILL WAS A VERY NICE SQUIRREL. BUT THEN, BILL BECAME A VERY EVIL SQUIRREL. HE PRETENDED TO PAY HIS EMPLOYEES AND TALKED SHIT ABOUT THEM BEHIND THEIR BACK. ONE DAY AFTER THIS HAD BEEN GOING ON FOR QUITE SOME TIME, 3 OF HIS EMPLOYESS GOT SICK OF THE SHIT. TASHA THE MONKEY, APRIL THE MOUSE, AND STEVE THE PENGUIN GOT TOGETHER ONE NIGHT, FOUND SOME OF THE FOREST'S FINEST FOLIAGE, SMOKED IT, AND PLOTTED THE FULLFILLING REVENGE ON THE DICTATOR-LIKE ASS OF A BOSS. THE NEXT DAY, BILL THE SQUIRREL CAME TO WORK AS USUAL, BUT TO HIS GREAT SURPRISE THE CAFE WAS IN FLAMES! MONKEY, MOUSE AND PENGUIN, IN UNISON, LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AS THEY CAPTURED THEIR EVIL EMPLOYER WHO HAD FUCKED THEM OVER AND THEN THEY TOOK THEIR REVENGE WHILE TORTURING THE CONFUSED SQUIRREL. THE MOST INHUMANE AND TORMENTING PAIN IMAGINABLE WAS INFLICTED ONTO THIS WASTE OF A SOUL. AND HE DIED. AND EVERYONE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.