Every once in a while old memories will come back to me. Last night just so happened to be one of those nights of flash backs. Memories of the days when I was so stupid and weak. I remembered how the ones I loved would walk all over me, and then I realized why I don't trust people. Now I know once in a while you have to let people into your heart but had I used my good sense back in the day to go with my distrust and maybe do a little digging, well I probably could have saved myself a lot of heart ache. So I think it may be time to use my sensibility. I do hope that a few don't take it to personal, it's not that I think everyone is lying or are bad people I've simply been made into a fool too many times to just trust and let go. A girl has got to have some rules to live by and this just so happens to be one of mine. Do not trust right off the bat because as shitty as it may seem, that is something is has to be earned. There are just too many damn crazies and assholes in this world to give the benifit of the doubt to everyone. On the good side though, now that I have remembered this, I am feeling a little more like myself which is extremely comforting. I do not wish to be made vulnerable or easily tossed to the side, so, hate to break it to you guys (and gals) my guard is back up and it IS staying there.
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