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I keep dreaming that he's still with us, and when I wake up and he's gone, it hurts so much. I know we had more than our share of disagreements, but right now, that doesn't matter. I know he's in a better place but that doesn't make it hurt any less.



Talking to my mom every day helps. Sharing our memories makes it a little easier.



There's one picture in particular I wish I had saved here on my computer, and that's my daddy and I dancing at the Daddy-Daughter Dance when I was a little girl at my cousin's wedding.

My father, the man who taught me how to ride a motorcycle, archery, how to chop wood, how to play the guitar, and to give my all to everything I do, went home to the Lord yesterday morning. Daddy, you will be missed. But I'm very grateful for the additional years we had together. And I will always love you.

My dad is gone. My heart hurts.

COMMENTS

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TheArtistRose
19:27 Nov 23 2015

God I'm so sorry. :(

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Mcphooey
12:13 Nov 24 2015

Thinking of you

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So my dad's in the hospital again. And he has been for a while now. I found out today that he's almost definitely going to be there for Thanksgiving too. :(



I spoke to him on the phone yesterday and it broke my heart. He didn't remember that we'd moved to Colorado, and didn't remember where Denver was...when he'd lived in Colorado most of his life prior to my birth.



Just heart-breaking.

Fuck November. I just want it to be over now. Too much all at once, I'm not dealing well at all.

I'm pretty sure I've gone mostly numb. I don't like feeling this much and all at once.



I still don't really deal all that well with stress or bad news. That's when I really miss Annie. I could tell her how I was feeling and she'd always know just what to say to get my brain to stop freaking out and calm me down. Not many people know instinctively how to do that with me...another thing that makes her and the rest of the crew so damn special. Each of you somehow knew just what I needed to hear to get out of a bad headspace.



And I swear on all that I hold most dear that I won't let this happen again. I WILL make time to go see you in person. Because that has to be my biggest regret of all. Getting to know you lovely people and never being able to just give you a hug. Or get a hug. Or enjoy learning more about where you're from or where you're living. I can't say it enough, I really do love you all.



I'm sorry I haven't really been around that much. I desperately needed a VR break after some of the events in my personal life, I just didn't realize that it was going to last so long. I kinda miss the days of logging on every day, and knowing that you all would be here to chat and laugh and commiserate with. But life goes on, and we've all got our own lives that seem to take us in different directions. But when it counts, we're all right there for each other. Until I met you guys, that was not something I was used to in any way. When the going got tough, most people hit the road on me. Even my own parents. Not you ladies and gents. You're all fucking amazing.



I love you all.

I honestly have no words. Just feelings. Because I have many regrets over not making the time to do things I always meant to do. But at the same time, I do not regret the time spent with you or the rest of the crew. I am blessed in knowing you, and through knowing you, I'm a better person than I might otherwise have been. You will always be loved and in my heart, Doe, even though you're gone.



I miss you.

The world has lost an amazing woman...I'm so grateful that I had the chance to get to know her. I just wish I'd had more of a chance (or made more of a chance) to see her in person. I will always regret that. I miss you already. It doesn't seem real.

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DaganaNumaraNamari
05:31 Nov 10 2015

I am sorry for your loss, truly. Remember though, bodies may die and pass on, energy never truly dies. You will see her in spirit, if you search the signs. My condolences on you pain. Nothing is truly as real as we make it. Take care of yourself.



~D.N.N.~

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