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So let's see where should I start! I have been without any meds or psychologist for about 6 months! They say that people don't usually know when they are depressed, but let me tell you, I can 90% of the time tell! I don't know maybe it's because I've been off & on meds for about 13 yrs now! Being without these past 6months is driving me insane! First I just became more bitchy, then I resorted to drinking, now I don't know, I just don't give a shit, I just want to be left alone by everyone! Yeah I do mean drinking as in 7am drinking...well but I guess for me that's like drinking at 5 or 6 pm! I work 3rd, so I usually start when I get off work! A really good friend of mine just had a birthday! I know I need to call her to at least tell her happy birthday, but you see I just dred talking to her! I don't want to be bothered with anything or anyone! I just want to focus on getting thru each day without going nuts!



Now I guess I should explain how I got to the point of no meds! Well, I lost my job where I had insurance! My new job, I don't! As soon as I lost my old job I went & got all my meds filled! Unfortunately my hubby is also on anti-depressants! For him tho it's different, he never thought he needed them! It was like pulling teeth to get him on them! However, without them he's super aggressive & things like that! So I'm doing without mine & making sure he has his! It's safer physically, but I'm just not sure about mentally anymore! I keep wondering too, well what am I going to do when we run out! He says he's going to quit them that he doesn't really need them! I don't know, I guess that's all for now! Anyways, if your one of my friends & I start to not talk to you much, well it's not you, it's me, so don't take it personally!